When the Mind Forgets
by Iehu
Summary: Working as a mercenary helped her forget what happened. And then Aria brought it all up again. Meet Admiral Hackett's daughter Lauren Hackett, the Sole Survivor. OC/Aria.
1. Chapter 1

_Even thought Omega was a hellhole, I actually liked it there. For months I did odd jobs and spent my credits on what I wanted – an apartment by myself or alcohol. God forbid if my doctor found out I had a small drink of alcohol when I was back on the Citadel. No one cared here as long as I could pay._

_I guess that's why I loved being a mercenary so much. The freedom of making your own decisions was basically a drug – and I was a willing addict._

* * *

Afterlife's music was so loud that Lauren couldn't hear herself think. She could feel every note in her bones while she drank at the bar, and she loved it. The turian bartender was more than happy to leave her alone with a bottle of Asari brandy and a glass at the far end of the bar, away from the hustle of the other patrons.

She brought the glass up to her lips and took a large gulp of the brandy, enjoying the burn as it went down her throat. After a few hours of fighting a few blue suns that had happened to stick their noses in her job, she was happy for the break. She was drumming her fingers on the bar in time with the music when the shuffled over to her, reaching under the bar near her to grab a mixer.

"Enjoying the brandy?" he asked.

She nodded, taking another gulp. "Sure as hell beats the shit my species makes." She scrunched her face up. "Beer reminds me of piss."

The turian's mandibles twitched in amusement. "So I've heard. Which reminds me, I've also heard that Aria is looking for a mercenary to do a tough job for her – apparently she's already gone through all her usual mercenaries and they've all turned her down."

Lauren put the glass down on the bar and raised the eyebrow. "You know what the catch is?" she asked him.

The turian shook his head. "No, I just keep hearing that no one will take the job. Apparently it borders on suicidal."

Lauren turned and looked at the upper level where the queen of Omega lounged about, her thoughts mulling in her head. Maybe it was the alcohol, but she was thinking about asking about this job Aria had. One of her lackeys near the stairs must know what the job is – and could probably fill her in on what Aria needed.

"You're thinking of doing it, aren't you?" the bartender asked.

She turned and looked at him, smiling. "You know me too well. Put this," she pointed at the bottle of brandy. "Where no one else can get it – if everything goes right I'll be back to buy it and take it home with me."

The turian nodded and stowed the bottle under the bar. "Alright – do me a favor and don't die. You're the only person here that I can tolerate – and the only person who'll buy the good stuff. I'd hate to see this stuff sit on a shelf."

Lauren chuckled. "No promises there. Wish me luck." And with that, she got off her seat and made a beeline for one of Aria's lackeys at the stairs. She heard the bartender mumble something about humans as she walked away, but she didn't really care. For the past few weeks he was the only person on the damn rock that she liked besides the man who sold her guns and ammunition.

Aria's lackey noticed her walking up long before she could see his face. He narrowed his four eyes at her, his arms crossed across his chest. "Can I help you sweetheart?" he asked.

Lauren rolled her eyes. "I heard Aria has a job that borders on suicidal. I'm interested."

The batarian looked her over. "She's looking for someone with a particular set of skills, and I don't think a short human female would have them."

Lauren knew what he was saying. She didn't exactly look like a mercenary – which is what Lauren used to her advantage. She held up a fist. "I'm a biotic and a former N7 commander for the alliance. I have all the skills I need."

The batarian seemed to consider it before turning to the side and putting a hand up to his head. "Hey boss, it's me. I've got one that might actually be able to take on the job you have and live. Says she's a biotic and a former N7 commander for the alliance." There was a minute of silence before he turned to look at her. "Here's the job." He held out a datapad. "Information's in there. Try not to die and we'll pay you for it."


	2. Chapter 2

The salarian froze behind his crate, his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn't hear the guards anymore and he couldn't hear the vorcha mercenaries either. He looked out behind the crate and saw someone standing above one of the mercenaries. It was a human with a pistol aimed at the krogan's head. He watched as the human suddenly pulled the trigger and as the well aimed shot hit the krogan between the eyes. He must have made a noise, because the human turned to look at his hiding spot. He ducked behind his crate and tried to be as quiet as possible.

He heard footsteps coming his way. Suddenly the crate he was hiding behind was thrown violently away from him. He threw himself to the floor and covered his head with his hands, practically screaming for mercy. "I had no idea what they were doing! I swear! Please don't shoot me!"

A dark armored boot stopped right by his head. "Turn over on your back." The human commanded.

He rolled over slowly, keeping his hands where he knew the mercenary could see them. "I'm not one of them I swear! Please don't shoot me!"

The human's eyes narrowed. She seemed to consider something for a minute before she holstered her pistol. "You've got three seconds to get the hell out of here, or I'll leave your corpse with the others."

The salarian didn't have to be told twice. He got up and ran, not knowing where he was going, but he didn't care. When he finally got tired he stopped and leaned up against a wall for support. Not a single person at the salvage yard was going to believe what he saw tonight. How could they? He thought to himself. Like a single human could go up against a whole Blood Pack patrol and come out unharmed.

It was suicide to even talk to the Blood Pack lately – he wouldn't know a single person who'd even consider walking into their territory – especially with guns. The vorcha had been violent lately, taking out anyone that walked through their territory with even a knife on them. The salarian took a deep breath.

Who the hell was that human anyway? He looked down the alleyway and rubbed at his forehead. He'd never seen a human that looked like that before. He'd seen armored humans before – but not like her. She was wearing a black set of armor that he'd never seen before. It wasn't bulky or missing pieces like the mercenaries on the station wore. It was a complete set, and looked basically brand new. She couldn't have been Eclipse, she didn't have the visors that they wore. And she couldn't be blue suns because she wasn't wearing blue. Could she have been one of Aria's men?

He shook his head. He needed to stop sitting around and get home before he wandered across more Blood Pack patrols. He pushed himself off the wall and started walking, looking over his shoulder as he went. Who was that human?

* * *

The Blood Pack Battlemaster hadn't heard anything from one of his patrols all night. He assumed the idiot he put in charge must have gotten his patrol lost somewhere in the station. One of his other patrols had radioed him not too long ago, telling him that he needed to get to the back alley behind the salvage yard as soon as possible. When he arrived he saw the other patrol standing around, staring at what looked like a pile of crates. As he got closer, he realized that it wasn't a pile of crates; it was a pile of bodies.

He shoved one of the vorcha out of the way and found himself staring at his missing patrols. All were riddled with bullet holes and partially crushed underneath the crates. He was filled with rage. "Did anyone see anything?" he asked one of the patrols.

"No," one of the vorchas hissed. "Just heard noise. Gunshots and bangs. Came here and found this."

He looked back at the pile of bodies. "Get rid of the bodies." he ordered the other patrol.

He noticed a body of a krogan a few feet away and went to look at it. He noticed a bullet between the young krogan's eyes and growled. This one had been shot after he'd been knocked down. The krogan's limbs looked odd, like he'd been flailing about before he landed there, unable to move. He had to have been held in the air and slammed down by a biotic. A cold hearted biotic.

"Put the word out to Garm that we're looking for a biotic." He told a nearby krogan. "And tell the patrols to keep their eyes out too."

Whoever did this just got themselves put on the Blood Pack's hit list. And he was going to make sure they paid for this with their life.


	3. Chapter 3

Lauren hated Blood Pack. Fighting them was always considered suicide because they just advanced without thinking. If someone wasn't careful, they could find themselves surrounded by angry krogan that were prone to leaving mangled corpses behind. Not to mention the varren the krogan always seemed to have with them. If a varren went unnoticed during a fight, it could maul someone to death in a few seconds with its huge teeth and claws. The fight against them was quick only because Lauren had used her biotics and had managed to surprised them. She'd done what she'd been told to do as part of her job.

She didn't know why Aria wanted that patrol dead, but she assumed that it had something to do with the amount of violence coming from the mercenary group in the past few days. Lauren had heard stories of Blood Pack mercenaries shooting anyone that carried a weapon and wandered into their territory - leaving the bodies to rot in alleyways for days before they were found. But she didn't know it was true until she saw the patrol kill a batarian that was leaving the salvage yard. The patrol got what was coming for them.

She shifted in her seat at the bar, her muscles screaming at her as she did so. The bartender must have noticed her pain, because he reached under the bar and set down another bottle of brandy. She shot him a small smile before draining her glass.

"What's the human expression?" The bartender asked, wiping the counter. "You look like hell?"

She nodded. "I feel like it too. My muscles are killing me."

"It was that much of a fight?" the bartender leaned up against the back counter.

"It was a whole Blood Pack Patrol."

He looked impressed. "I'm surprised to see you're still alive. So that was the job then? Taking out a patrol?" he turned around and began organizing the bottles on the shelf behind him.

"Yeah, apparently the patrol I took out has been terrorizing the salvage yard and killing the workers after their shifts. Aria couldn't have that and asked me to take them out." Lauren shrugged. "I don't know why every other merc didn't want to do it. It was pretty easy if you knew what you were doing."

The bartender chuckled. "I'm glad you didn't turn up dead."

"Didn't know you cared, Derimus." Lauren mentally smacked herself for letting his name slip out.

The bartender froze for a second. "How do you know what my name is?"

Lauren smiled mischievously. "I asked that dancer you seem to like so much."

The turian's mandibles twitched. "Alright, fair enough. Now you should tell me your name, since it's only fair."

"Fine," Lauren leaned across the bar. "It's Lauren."

"Lauren," the turian seemed to think for a minute. "That's not a great mercenary name, especially around here. You need something better."

"Thanks for telling me my name is too bland."

"I'm just saying," the bartender tapped a talon on the bar. "No one makes a living on this station using their real name when they start. You need to pick, what do you humans call it, a nickname?"

Lauren nodded. "Fair enough. What would you suggest then?"

"Brandy?"

Lauren lifted an eyebrow. "Really?"

"You're the only person that I know who will drink the stuff besides the dancers. But you're right, it is kind of…lame." He leaned up against the bar. "What about something related to your biotics? You're one of the only humans I know that can use them without blowing everything up."

Lauren picked up the other bottle of brandy and opened it, pouring herself a glass. "Like sparks or something?"

The turian nodded and made a clicking noise. "Not sparks, but something else."

They sat in silence for a moment, both thinking about possible nicknames. The turian finally made a noise and tapped on the bar to get her attention.

"What about Blue?" he asked. "It's short and simple."

Lauren thought about it for a second. It was short and simple, and it was faster than saying her whole name. It would work, if only for a while. "Alright then, Blue it is."

"Alright then Blue, heads up, because I think some of Aria's lackeys are headed this way." Derimus retreated to the other side of the bar to check on his other patrons.

Lauren went back to drinking her brandy. She heard footsteps stop behind her and she glanced over her shoulder. Three batarians were standing behind her; one of them cleared his throat.

"Can I help you boys?" she asked.

"Aria wants to know how to get a hold of you in case she has another job for you." One of the batarians said. "She asked us to bring that back to her."

Lauren turned around on her barstool. "Why doesn't she ask me herself?"

"Because you're just a mercenary," the batarian growled.

"Fair enough," Lauren took a sip of her brandy and turned on her omni-tool. She fiddled with her inbox for a minute, changing her screen name before turning back to the batarians. One of them held out a datapad and she took it, typing down her information before handing it back.

The batarian took it and read it, his eyes narrowing. "She'll get in touch if she needs anything, Blue. Try not to do anything stupid, human."

"You too, four eyes." Lauren retorted.

She watched them leave and turned back to her brandy. Derimus walked back over.

"I think you should head home." He said, motioning to her glass. "You've finished five already."

Lauren mulled his thoughts over in her head for a minute. It was late and she was tired – and she was getting lightheaded sitting on the barstool. "Yeah, you're right. Here," she held out her credit chit.

Derimus took the chit and swiped it under his omni-tool before handing it back. "Be careful getting home."

"You too, Mr. bartender." She said as she slid off the stool.

Derimus shook his head and watched the blonde human walk slowly out of the bar, weaving between groups of people and other patrons. When he couldn't see her anymore he picked up the bottle of brandy and shut it, putting it back on the shelf behind the bar. A group of humans and asari walked up to the bar, making the turian focus on work.

Besides, it wasn't like her to get into trouble on the way back to where she was staying.


	4. Chapter 4

Omni-tools are the most annoying thing on the planet for people with hangovers. Not only do they repeat themselves over and over, but they make a hell of a lot of noise too. Lauren rolled over in her tiny bed and swatted at her nightstand, cringing as the noise continued. When her fingers finally found the small device, she slipped it on and instantly turned off the noise.

She squinted and attempted to find out what had woken her. She knew she hadn't turned on her alarm before collapsing in her bed. She opened her inbox to find an unread message staring her in the face. She must have forgotten to turn the notification chime after leaving the bar.

"I really need to just put you on silent from now on," she muttered.

She clicked on the message to find out who sent it and why – hoping it was about a job – but was met with crushing disappointment. The message was not from someone asking for her to do a job. It was from her least favorite person in the universe, someone she despised more than varren.

The message was from her father.

"Why?" she moaned. "I don't care if you feel bad about wanting me in your life. You had twenty-six years to suddenly appear out of nowhere." She brought her hand up to rub at her eyes.

She had to open the message. And it wasn't because it was from her father, it was because she promised her mother that she'd at least read his messages. And she would never disobey her mother, or the wishes of someone who was deceased. She opened it.

_To: Lauren Hackett_

_From: Admiral S. Hackett_

_About: We need to talk_

_Alright, look. This is the sixth message I've sent in the past month about wanting to talk to you. If you don't call me I'm going to give Deacon an order to track you down and drag you to me if he has to. _

She knew from how short the message was that he wasn't kidding either. Steven Hackett was many things, but a comedian he was not. Her mother knew that first hand and had warned her of his lack of humor when she was a kid, blaming it on the fact that he was too focused on his job. But of course, that's why he was never around to begin with.

She knew she had to call him or Deacon would be at her small apartment door in a matter of days. And then he'd yell at her and drag her back to the Alliance, where they'd probably throw her into therapy again. Or they'd just save everyone the time and throw her in the looney bin.

She turned on the one small light in her apartment and walked to the one computer terminal she had installed in her apartment. It was the only thing that she could call with, but it worked. She punched in her father's contact information and called him. She didn't know if he'd pick up, but she might as well give it a shot. What did she have to lose anyway? There was a disconnect button for a reason.

She yawned and stretched her fingers at her terminal, taking the few moments before the call connected to stretch. When it finally did connect, she was in the middle of cracking her neck.

"That's a pleasant sight," her father's sarcastic voice graced her ears. "The sight of your only child cracking her neck and looking like she just walked out of a war zone."

"Nice to see you too, Admiral." Lauren rolled her eyes.

Her father sighed and brought his hand up to rub at his forehead. "I told you not to call me that anymore."

"And I told you that you'll continue to be Admiral unless I slip up and call you Steven." Lauren reached for a nearby bottle of aspirin on her desk. "So, I've called you. Obviously I'm fine-"

"You're covered in what appears to be dirt, your eyes are bloodshot and your hair is a mess. And you want me to believe you're fine?"

Lauren dry swallowed two of the pills from the bottle. "I'm still alive, aren't I? Therefore I'm fine. So don't send Deacon after me."

"Maybe I should send him after you – I mean, it's not like I know where you are and can actually talk to you everyday like I want to." He narrowed his eyes.

Lauren shook her head. "I don't know what you want from me. I fucking called you like you asked – I'm still alive and breathing – what more do you want?"

"You coming back to the Citadel would be a good start."

She glared at him. "That's not going to happen, Admiral."

"Why not? Why are you being so stubborn about coming back here and getting some help-"

"Because its not helpful to have people constantly telling you to just forget about it!" Lauren snapped. "Oh, just because they say everything is going to be fine that suddenly it is? It doesn't work like that. I can't move past something I don't remember."

"I understand, calm down-"

"How can you possibly understand? Mom was the only one that cared about my wellbeing more than the doctors did. Shepard obviously didn't care – she dragged me back the first time!"

"Commander Shepard was trying to do what was best for you-"

"It was not what was best for me and you knew it! Stop defending the dumbass doctors – they didn't want to help me –"

"And how do you know that?" Her father barked at her.

"Because they did what everyone else did," Lauren held up two fingers. "They told me to forget what happened, and they told me to just get over it and move on with my life. Like I could just ignore the giant scars and the fact that half of me had to be rebuilt with cybernetics because of the acid-"

"I remember," her father brought a hand up to her face. "I saw you the first day you weren't in surgery."

Lauren took a deep breath. "I know. Mom told me you wouldn't leave."

There was a minute of silence as she remembered her mother.

"The point I'm trying to make," her father said calmly. "Is that the doctors want to help. They really do. We all want to help you, but you're not making it easy to help you if you run off like this. For the past few weeks I didn't even know if you were lying dead somewhere or if you were in a hospital on some godforsaken planet."

"Have you considered that maybe," she hoped to the goddess that he wouldn't scream at her for this. "I don't want their help anymore? All they've done is make it worse. They haven't helped me try to figure out what happened. I don't remember doing what everyone said I did."

Her father stared at her, pity in his eyes.

"I don't remember crawling through the sand like everyone said I did. I don't remember being found, and I don't remember warning the crew about the thresher maws before I passed out. I don't remember waking up every few days and responding to the doctors. It's a big black hole, and the doctors aren't going to help me remember it."

"So you're going to keep doing, whatever it is you're doing, until you remember? Is that your plan?" he asked.

Lauren shook her head. "No. I plan on just working here. I don't plan on trying to make myself remember anything. I just want to work. To do something that doesn't involve orders from any alliance officer or recommendations from a doctor. I want to make my own decisions for a while."

He sighed. "If that's what you want, then I can't do anything to stop you. But please, just tell me you're alive every now and then, I can't go on worrying like this. Your mother-"

"Mom's dead." She said flatly.

He looked at her. "I know."

"I have to go," Lauren said, scooting away from the terminal. She didn't want to go down this road with him right now.

"Be careful."

She clicked on the disconnect button and buried her head in her arms. "This can't get any worse." She mumbled. Her omni-tool chimed again.

"God damn it."


	5. Chapter 5

Aria's lackey wasn't kidding – this job was horrible. What's wrong with being a bouncer at the VIP lounge, she asked. **Everything was wrong with it**. She didn't know how the usual guards at Afterlife managed. After the fourth drunk human wandered up to her and asked if they could get some help walking back to their apartment, she really just wanted to leave. Or punch one of them in the face. She wasn't even actually working as a bouncer; she was just dressed like one and was waiting for a stupid salarian named Alee to walk into the club.

At first the job sounded funny and she jokingly asked if the salarian was a murderer. When the lackey didn't answer, she stopped laughing. Reading the datapad confirmed her suspicions – the salarian was in fact a murderer. He was an Eclipse mercenary that had actually managed to get the drop on several of Aria's informants. According to what she heard, he had a pet varren that snacked on the bodies before he stole from them and left.

So he was a sick bastard and Aria needed a mercenary to catch him and bring him to her. Lauren was more than happy to help; only because the job paid more than a courier job she'd been offered. Four thousand credits for one salarian murderer. Who was Lauren to argue with that kind of payment?

She scanned the room, her eyes lingering on the dancers before she moved on to look at the door. The bouncers there were standing completely still except for occasionally getting up and removing one of the rowdy patrons at the bar and seating them in a booth. She gently pressed at her omni-tool, firing off a message to the bouncers, asking if they'd seen him yet. They responded quickly, all five of them telling her that they hadn't seen him yet. One pointed out that if he wasn't here by now that she'd have to go looking for him, because it was unlikely he'd show up at the club in the last few hours it was open.

Lauren agreed silently before telling the bouncers to keep their eyes open for a few more minutes. They all turned off their omni-tools and went back to watching the room. Lauren straightened up and moved away from the back wall and began to walk around the club, examining patrons as she went by. If he was already here then he should be easy to find and if he wasn't – then it was unlikely Lauren would get the job done tonight. A dark gray salarian at the back of the bar caught her eye as she walked past. She looked for Alee's telltale scar – one that went down over his eye and mouth.

But he was facing the wrong way, watching the dancers. She approached the bar and leaned up against the counter, watching him carefully. When the salarian finally gave up watching the dancers, he turned back to his drink, showing Lauren that it was in fact Alee. She turned on her omni-tool and told the bouncers that she'd found him at the bar and to keep him from getting past them if he tried to run. She had to approach him and she had to make sure to grab his gun before he knew she was there.

She didn't have a plan. And quite frankly, she didn't care. She was going to do what Shepard did in their training – wing it and hope for the best. She walked over and stopped a few places short of him. He'd turned around again to watch the dancers, giving her a chance to pull out her pistol and press it into the fabric of his shirt.

The salarian froze. "What the-"

She leaned forward. "Move and I cripple you from the neck down."

The salarian looked over his shoulder. "What do you want?"

"It's not what I want," Lauren pressed the gun a little harder into his back. "It's what Aria wants. Put your hands behind your back slowly, and I won't shoot you."

The salarian thought for a second before giving in and slowly putting his hands behind his back. She grabbed his wrists and pressed the gun into his back. "Now, start walking. You and I are going to go to Afterlife through the back door. Then I'm giving you to one of her lackeys and getting my payment. So move."

Alee started walking with Lauren right behind him. When they got past the bouncers and to the back door, he swung his leg behind him and attempted to kick her. Lauren pulled away from him to avoid being kicked – letting go of Alee's wrists. The salarian took off running.

"Why do they always run?" she mumbled, bringing her arm up to throw a singularity at his feet.

The salarian slammed into the wall in front of him and slid to the floor. Lauren walked over and looked at the limp salarian, shaking her head. "Now, let's try this again. But next time if you run, I will throw you around like a ragdoll. Get up." She waved her pistol at him when he didn't move. The salarian hauled himself to his feet and started walking in front of her, headed for Afterlife.


	6. Chapter 6

_My first impression of the Queen of Omega was not exactly a great one. I watched her order a batarian to torture a salarian I'd captured for her. She showed him no mercy until he told her the information she needed. And when she was done with him she asked me to shoot him. And I did it._

_Why? Because she'd asked me to. And no one says no to Aria._

* * *

Lauren walked back to her apartment, her mind reeling from what had happened. It didn't bother her that she'd shot an unarmed salarian – it bothered her that it didn't. She didn't care if the man lived or died, and it felt great not to care. She looked over her shoulder at the glowing lights of Afterlife and stopped walking. Something else was bothering her. And it wasn't about the salarian, it was about _her._

It wasn't the way she looked overall, but it was the way that she looked at people. When Aria asked her to shoot him, she was staring right at her. Her blue eyes were like glaciers – cold, unmoving, and a dark blue. Lauren shook her head. Why was this asari so…different? Was it because she was the ruler of Omega? Lauren couldn't wrap her brain around it, so she chose to ignore it. She started walking again for her apartment, not stopping until she got into the small room.

She peeled off her clothes and armor, haphazardly throwing in on the floor. She didn't miss the cleanliness of the Alliance. Her apartment could be a huge mess and no one could tell her to clean it up. She walked past her desk and into the open bathroom at the back. She liked the small confined space of the apartment – how her bed was tucked away in one corner and her desk in another. She didn't have to worry about not hearing someone in another room because there weren't any.

She walked into the shower and turned it on, waiting patiently for the water to get warm before she ducked her head under the stream. She grabbed for a bar of soap and started scrubbing at her hair, trying to work out the grime she'd acquired in the last forty-eight hours. She ducked her head under the shower head and rinsed her hair while she began to scrub at her chest and arms with the bar of soap. When she reached her shoulder she stopped and put the soap away and instead began to gently scrub at the skin with her hands.

She could feel the synthetic bones and cybernetic joints underneath her fingers as she worked away at it, being careful not to damage anything. When she was fresh out of the hospital she made the mistake of scrubbing her shoulder a bit too hard – which knocked a cybernetic piece out of place. She wound up going back to the hospital to have it put back in place, which resulted in three weeks of not being able to use her left arm. She moved her fingers down to scrub at her left arm, trying to ignore the feeling of the cybernetics there too.

She didn't like the fact that her entire left arm and her shoulder were all synthetic, but there was nothing she could about it. The doctors also had to give her a new liver and lung – and a few ribs. Surgery scars crisscrossed her skin, obscuring it. She reached up and turned off the water, stepping out of the shower to dry off. When she was done she put her towel back on the hook on the wall for it. She walked to her only locker and pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top, ignoring her wet hair. She only had one thing in mind after the last few mind numbing hour; sleep. She crawled into her bed and buried herself under her blanket.

* * *

Afterlife was busy. Derimus was at the bar pouring glasses for a group of asari's that were apparently on Omega only for a few hours while their shuttle refueled before heading on to the Citadel. He shoved the glasses across the counter and glanced over at the far corner of the bar. He hadn't seen Blue all day, and it seemed he wouldn't see her tonight. He'd heard from his friend, a bouncer in the VIP section, that Blue had been there for a job. According to him, Aria asked Blue to capture a salarian. More stories drifted from the loose lips of Aria's drunk agents a few hours later. It's not like the stories helped though, it just made him worry more.

Blue had become a good friend over the past few months, sharing small pieces of information along with credits. She helped when the nights crawled on by - keeping him entertained with stories from her time in the military. The two often swapped stories about their homes also. Derimus grew up on Palavan, while Blue grew up on various ships. Their stories were roughly the same about their childhood. Both Derimus and Blue were both raised by their mothers, and their fathers were both military-bound. The only difference in their stories was the fact that Derimus was the youngest of four siblings, while Blue was an only child.

He reached for the rag he used to clean the counter and moped up some spilled turian-friendly beer. She had four hours to show up until his shift ended, but he doubted it. Aria had asked her to kill for her, which made the human a member of Aria's organization unofficially. It was a rite of passage that he'd only seen a few times before with some of Aria's closer guards. He knew that it meant Aria had plans for Blue, but whether they were good or bad was a mystery to him. He glanced up at the lounge where Aria looked down at Afterlife. He silently hoped Aria's plans for Blue wouldn't get her killed.


	7. Chapter 7

Lauren woke with a start, the blanket twisted in her hands, panting. Cold sweat beaded covered her body, and her stomach was unsettled. She untangled herself from her blankets and sat up. She took a deep shaky breath, trying to calm herself. She ran a hand through her hair. The images from her nightmare were gone and the only evidence that the nightmare took place was the feeling in her stomach, the cold sweat that covered her body, and the tangled sheets. She picked up her left hand with her right and traced the scar that ran up her arm from her wrist.

She hated the scars. They were the only reminders of what happened to her, and she hated it. She laid back on her bed and held her left hand up in the air, her right hand on her stomach. After she was convinced that the limb attached to her was in fact hers, she put both her hands on her stomach. After a few minutes of quiet meditation, she felt calm. Her heart wasn't racing in her chest and her stomach was calm. She reached over to grab her omni-tool, turning it on to scroll through her messages.

There weren't any new ones and she sighed. No jobs today. It was basically noon on the station, so she had a few hours to kill before Derimus started his shift at the bar. "What to do today," she hummed. She could wander around the markets. She sat up and started getting dressed, changing her shorts for pants. She pulled a bra on under her tank top and grabbed a jacket. She grabbed her pistol as she walked out the door to her apartment, turning off the lights behind her. As she wandered down to the markets outside she noticed a young woman standing on the corner.

She was talking to a few others nearby and looked like she was selling something. Curious, Lauren walked over to investigate. The girl looked up when she approached. She was young, Lauren noticed. She couldn't have been more than fifteen or sixteen years old and she had short black hair.

"Hi," the girl was very soft-spoken. "Interested in some art?"

She pointed at some statues on a small table next to her. The statues were elaborate and very detailed despite their size. Lauren noticed one was a statue of the goddess Athame – the asari's goddess. It was very beautiful and Lauren picked it up. The girl must have taken at least a week's worth of time to painstakingly carve all the details into the woman's face. She paid the girl the nine hundred credits she asked for it, knowing that it was worth at least three times that, and watched as she wrapped it and put it in a bag for her. She left the girl and headed off for the markets, tucking the bag underneath her arm. The markets were pretty packed when she walked around the corner. She bit her lip. Did she actually need anything here or was she just kidding herself?

She heard a buzzing noise from right in front of her and noticed a batarian in a shop in front of her. He was leaned over another batarian, with a needle gun in her hands. She rubbed at her left shoulder. Before her shoulder and back were rebuilt she had tattoos – but the skin was unmarked except for the scars from her surgeries. She checked her omni-tool and realized she had a few hours plus all of tonight if she didn't have a job. It was more than enough time to get a new tattoo on her back. She turned off her tool and walked towards the shop, determined to find out if they had a few hours and a resident artist.

The batarian looked up when she entered, pulling his needle from the other batarian's arm. "You're done. Go talk to Calak about paying."

The other batarian stood up and walked to the back of the store, leaving her alone with the other batarian. She recognized him as one of Aria's guards. He put the needle gun down on a nearby tray.

"You're that mercenary, Blue, right?" he asked. "How can I help you?"

So he recognized her. "I'm interested in a back tattoo."

"How big?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Whole back would be nice."

"That's going to take at least a week to heal and a few hours to do." He crossed his arms. "You have an idea of what you want?"

"No."

He pointed over his shoulder. "Our artist is in the back; the turian guy with yellow markings."

"Thanks."

She spent about ten minutes with the turian artist drawing up what she wanted on her back. When he was finished with the sketch he handed it to her, pointing at the batarian she talked to before. She then spent the next four hours straddling the chair while the batarian worked on the tattoo at her back. It burned and stung like hell, but she didn't complain. He didn't try to strike up any conversation either, so she ended up watching people walk in and out of the market. When he finished her tattoo he instructed her on how to care for it and told her the same thing that he told the batarian. After she paid for her stuff she left, her jacket and statue underneath her arm.

On her way back to her apartment, her omni-tool went off. She looked down and clicked on the message in her inbox. There was no sender.

_Be at Afterlife's VIP lounge in two hours. No need to be wearing armor or to have guns on you. We need to have a chat._


	8. Chapter 8

Derimus was setting the bar up when he heard someone tap on the bar. He glanced over his shoulder and saw the young face of Aria's daughter, Liselle. The asari smiled sweetly at him, leaning on the bar. He walked over, keeping a foot away from her.

"I need some information." She said quietly. "About that mercenary named Blue."

"What for?" He didn't like the way she she asked him.

Liselle leaned back. "I need to know everything that you know - my mother's asking me to befriend her."

He curled his talons into his palms. "What for?"

"Aria wants me to be sure that she's not an Alliance spy or if she's working for the shadow broker, before she asks her to do something for her." Liselle sat down on a barstool.

He knew that Liselle had every reason to lie to him; her mother was the ruler of Omega. But he was getting the feeling that she wasn't lying to him. The fact that Aria didn't know if Blue was a spy or not surprised him. Aria was supposed to know everything, but it seemed she couldn't look into Blue's past because it was related to the Alliance, and because she wasn't using her full or real name. He assumed that Blue probably left no paper trail after she fled from the Alliance after she was dragged back by one of her friends.

"She's not an Alliance spy."

"How do you know that?" Liselle asked, grabbing one of the bowls of nuts nearby.

Derimus made a mental note to refill the bowls later. "From what she's told me, the Alliance betrayed her."

Liselle looked skeptical. He put a talon up. "She's been vague, but apparently something happened to her. The Alliance apparently ignored her when she asked for help. Apparently it was a fight where all her friends and her father sided with the Alliance, leaving her and her mother to fight it alone." He picked up a glass from nearby. "Her mother died, so she was fighting the Alliance on her own. She eventually gave up, and I guess ended up here."

"You don't know anything else that could help us figure out who she is?" Liselle fished a nut out of the bowl and cracked it in her fingers. "Do you know her name?"

"It's Blue." Derimus walked to the back shelf and shuffled a few glasses around.

"Why is she called Blue anyway?" Liselle said casually, trying to open another nut.

"She's a biotic," Derimus explained. "But that's not her real name."

"What is it?" Liselle dropped her not, staring at him.

He turned around. "I only know her first name - it's Lauren."

Liselle leaned back in her stool. "So her name is Lauren she was a Commander in the Alliance, and she's a biotic. That should give my mother something to work off of for now. Thank you, Derimus."

Derimus watched as the asari quickly retreated and vanished in a crowd of dancers. Spirits this situation wasn't making any sense to him.

* * *

Aria reread the datapad that Liselle had handed her. "Is this all the information we could pull on her?"

"We couldn't get any more than this," Liselle said from her seat. "I called in a few favors with a friend of mine. He's getting the files we couldn't get access too."

Aria mulled her daughter's words over before looking at the datapad again. The human's name was Lauren Hackett, daughter of a Maria Evanez and a Steven Hackett. She entered an academy for biotic children when she was fourteen, giving up a scholarship to an academy for musically gifted teenagers. She entered officer's school and enlisted right after she turned eighteen. The records after that were full of holes and nonsense about classified information. There was a record about an arrest on Earth involving four gang members, a waitress and Lauren - according to the report she saved the waitress from the four gang members on a whim. But she didn't spare the men from her wrath. According to the police she flung them around like rag dolls for six minutes before they could get her to calm down.

And then there was an email from Lauren to her superior officer, stating that she was retiring from the Alliance and had left all the paperwork on his desk for him to sign and file away. A report of her mother's death due to an infection on a gun-wound was next. Being a hero ran in the family it seemed, but Lauren was the first person to turn away from her duties in the Alliance. But that was almost four months ago. There was nothing after her discharge papers were filed.

She set the datapad down. "When you learn more, let me know."

Liselle nodded. "Of course mother."


	9. Chapter 9

Liselle loved the VIP section of Afterlife. It wasn't just because it was only accessible by certain people, but because everyone there minded their own business. She didn't know how her mother standed being in Afterlife before she stayed in her perch. She leaned back into her seat and looked at the door to the club. She'd told the batarian at the main entrance to Afterlife to redirect Lauren here. Five minutes ago he'd pinged her, informing her that Lauren was on her way. Now Liselle was just waiting. She picked up her drink and took a sip before glancing at the door again.

That's when she spotted the mercenary standing at the door, examining the entire club before walking inside. Her eyes darted around and examined every dark corner as she walked. It was her Alliance training kicking in. And Liselle knew that because of her training, Lauren would be carrying a concealed weapon, even if she was told not to bring one. Lauren finally noticed her and started walking towards the table. She stopped a foot from it.

"May I?" she asked, motioning to the only empty chair at the table."

Liselle nodded. "Of course - I invited you." The human was polite.

She sat down, pushing stray stands of blonde hair out of her eyes. "I don't know your name," she said quietly. "Or why I'm here."

So she was perceptive. Liselle didn't know if that was a good thing or not. "I'm Liselle T'Loak-"

"So you're Aria's daughter. Pleasure to meet you." The human interupted and looked around the club. She spotted an asari waitress and waved at her, which brought the young maiden to their table.

"Can I get you something?" the asari asked sweetly.

"Thessia brandy on the rocks would be great." And she drank Thessian brandy.

"Be right back." The waitress left.

Lauren turned back to look at Liselle. "Sorry about that. You were going to tell me why I'm here?"

Liselle leaned back in her chair. "I heard you were very blunt about things."

"I also like to throw people around like ragdolls. Never tire of it," She raised an eyebrow. "But that's not why we're here, is it? I was not raised to be a dense idiot. Your mother asked you to do this didn't she?"

"How did you know?" Liselle asked, picking up her drink.

"You're being too formal - most asaris I've had drinks with never are this formal. Not even the ones on Thessia."

Liselle was surprised. "You've been to Thessia? I don't know a lot of people who've even seen pictures of the place - let alone been there. When you did you go?"

The waitress stopped by and set a glass down by Lauren's elbow before walking to another table. Lauren picked it up and took an experimental sip. She licked her lips. "I was there for a month before I came here, actually."

"What were you doing on Thessia?" Liselle asked.

Lauren looked at her drink, a troubled look on her face. "My mother had unfinished business on Thessia. One of her longtime friends was supposed to recieve something before my mother's death. She died unexpectedly, so I went for her."

Liselle looked at her own drink. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" Lauren sounded bitter. "You didn't kill her."

Liselle watched Lauren from her chair. She looked haunted by something. After a few seconds Liselle decided to speak. "How did she die?"

"It's not important. What matters is that she's gone. Nothing can change that." She looked at Liselle, her expression different. "How long have you been working for your mother?"

Liselle shifted in her seat. "Why is that important?"

"I tell you something and you tell me something back. It's like a game. So, how long have you been working for your mother?"

"Alright. I've been working for her for about ten years. What did you do in the Alliance?"

"I was an N7 Commander. It basically involved running into gunfire and shooting or throwing people around. Rules, regulations and protocols made it boring." She took a sip of her drink.

"Is that why you left?"

She shook her head. "No. They wanted me to get treatment that I didn't need."

"Treament for what?" Liselle asked.

She shook her head. "It's not important. The fact is that I didn't need it and I left."

"Alright. Why'd you come to Omega?" Liselle asked.

"I got tired of being on Thessia, so I boarded a shuttle. I picked a place where I knew no one would coming looking for me." She set down her glass. "Are a follower of the Athame doctrine or of siari?"

"Siari. Like my mother." So she knew about asari culture. "What about you?"

"Same. I switched over during my time in the Alliance. While I was in Thessia I explored and learned to meditate properly. It was nice." Lauren swirled her drink. "So, what does your mother have planned for me if I pass her inspection?"

Liselle narrowed her eyes. "I don't actually know. She's been keeping whatever is going on under wraps. If I didn't know anymore I'd say we have a leak somewhere."

Lauren looked thoughtful. "So I would be your mother's enforcer."

"Personal assassin is more along the lines," Liselle tilted her head. "But enforcer does have a nice ring to it."

"What happened to her last one?" Lauren asked quietly.

Liselle put her glass down and put her hands in her lap. "He was her personal guard. But I guess she must be investigating everyone, because she keeps kicking him out when we talk."

Lauren reached up and unpinned her hair. Her mouth twitched up into an amused smile. "I've seen this happen before." She looked at Liselle with piercing, intense violet eyes. Liselle suddenly felt like she was being stared at by a bird of prey. "When you talk to your mother after I leave," Lauren said quietly. "Tell her that I'm looking for a permanent employer - if she's interested." And with that, she gulped down the last bit of her brandy before leaving.

Liselle could only watch her leave - trying to re-collect her thoughts. Lauren's behavior had changed at the end of their converstation, like she knew something that Liselle didn't. She took a breath and pulled up her omni-tool to write out a short message to her mother.

* * *

Aria had to admit that the mercenary was rather bold. She acted like a paragon but at the last second, she could become a successful predator. She'd managed to unsettle Liselle with just a look. The Alliance couldn't have taught her that. But with the files that Liselle had delivered on top of the info she'd gotten from their short drink, Aria knew where she learned it. Lauren Hackett was a trained N7 marine. The best of the best in her race. She was rivaled only by two others, who trained with her at the same time - Commander A. Shepard and Commander J. Deacon. Both formidable opponents in battle. Shepard had proven herself on Elysium and Deacon on Torfan. They had upheld the Alliance and completely demolished their intended targets. A path of destruction followed the two of them. And according to the files in her hands...

They were nothing compared to the pure destructive power of Commander L. Hackett. Videos of completely destroyed simulations, training mechs and a video of Lauren propelling herself through a steel wall - those were only amongst top of the pile. There were other instances that invovled childhood bullies - highschool tormentors. This woman could go from being a complete saint to a complete bitch in about a second. Her mood swings weren't a medical condition - it just seemed that she liked to overwhelm her enemies before she attacked them. Her raw biotic power as a child nearly drove her mother completely insane and according to her academy instructor - she was just as smart as anyone. Not in book smarts, but rather in street smarts. Test results from the academy proved that she would make a compotent officer and reports from her time in officer's school showed how she revelaed herself to be a leader - and revealed her hatred for the protocols of the Alliance.

The last files, which Aria had barely read through, revealed probably the most guarded secret she had. Lauren Hackett was the sole survivor of Akuze. According to the officers who found her, Lauren had been barely alive when she told them to beware of the thresher maws. She'd spent three months in the hospital and a month in recovery. Her whole left arma and shoulder had to be replaced, as did one of her lungs and her liver - which she did the best to destroy the latter on Omega. Reports of her mental unstability and apparently lack of social filters made them label her as unstable. But the overall label on the woman was the same. She was deadly, brillant and completely dangerous.

Aria knew she had found the right mercenary from the start, and this just proved it.


	10. Chapter 10

_When you first start working as a mercenary - you don't belong to a faction. Belonging to a faction is too dangerous because you have enemies right off the bat, so you tend to ignore them and try not to step on anyone's toes as you try to make a living. But when you're established or if you have no options or work, joining a faction is like a miracle. Joining Aria's faction was the best decision I ever made - not just because I would be virtually untouchable because of my position in her organization - although that was a good point. _

_I joined her faction because the asari was the most interesting person I'd ever met - and I was the daughter of Admiral Hackett and friends of Commanders Shepard and Deacon. But Aria wasn't like them. She was something darker, something much more dangerous. And I was perfectly okay with running into a hellhole for her. Over the next few weeks after I met Liselle, I did jobs for her. Liselle was a great employer - but her mother was the best on the station. The day I joined her faction - the official day - I was given a job. _

_A job I will never forget as long as I live._

* * *

Liselle had made it sound easy. Just be her mother's enforcer for a full twenty-four hours. Lauren stood still as a stone where Aria's other guard, Garka, usually stood. She was keeping a close eye on everyone in the box, painfully aware of the fact that there were watching her as much as she was watching them. Aria was meeting with one of her other guards, Grizz, a turian who oversaw the daily activities of her other agents. It was a very private meeting, meaning that only Aria's agents were in her private box. Liselle was to report next on mercenary activity on the upper levels, and was sitting on the couch a few feet from Aria. Her second-in-command, Anto Korragan, was standing at the far end of the room.

"-It seems that we're not going to get anything from our Eclipse informant anytime soon. He thinks they know he's a spy." Grizz clicked through his datapad. "I told him to keep a low profile and to contact me when he could."

"Good," Aria held out her hand for the datapad, which Grizz promptly handed over. "Liselle-"

Lauren's comm link suddenly came to life in her ear. She pressed her hand over her ear and answered it. "What is it?"

"-Pack mercenaries are on their way up from the lower levels. Blue suns are moving in the same direction. It looks like there's going to be a territory fight on the lower levels by the apartments. The vorcha are carrying heavy weapons."

"Is anyone in the area?" She asked. She knew that everyone was watching her silently, wondering what could be going on.

"Not enough of us are here. If we try to stop the Blood Pack we'll be slaughtered and if we go up against the Blue Suns - I doubt they'll be a lot of us left. What do we do?" the agent sounded frustrated.

Lauren looked at Aria, who was staring at her patiently. Lauren brought a hand up to her ear. "Put yourself where you can watch. Make sure everyone's either locked inside their apartments or off the streets. I want reports every half hour until they're done slaughtering each other. See if you can find out what the fight is actually over."

"What do you mean?"

"Obviously Blue suns and Blood Pack don't use heavy weapons for a territory fight. Something else is going on. Talk to the informants, see if they know anything." Lauren pulled her hand down and went back to standing still.

Aria looked at Liselle. "What have you learned about the mercenaries on the upper level?"

Liselle handed a datapad to her mother. "They're working for an asari named, Dalana. She's using them to help eliminate her competition in the shops on the lower levels. I've sent someone to remind her that this isn't acceptable."

"Good. Anto," Aria looked at her second-in-command. "Look into the dealings between Dalana and her mercenaries. Find out who they are and see if we can get information from them. Make them an offer they can't refuse."

Anto nodded. "I'll start looking into it."

"Blue," Aria looked at Lauren. "Do you have the report from Gavorn?"

Lauren nodded and handed her the datapad she'd recieved from him earlier. "He says that the vorcha aren't attempting to come in Afterlife. He assumes that it's because the Blood Pack is hiring them to replace the ones killed in the violence by the salvage yards and lower levels. He doesn't think that there will be any problems for the next few days."

"And what do you think?" Aria asked.

"I don't trust the vorcha, but Gavorn is right. The patrol I took out must have had fourteen vorcha in it." She leaned back up against the wall. "We might see more arriving on the station in the next two weeks when word gets out of work on Omega for them."

"Your recommendation?" She asked.

Moment of truth. "Get Gavorn a bigger gun and assign another guard to work the doors with him."

Aria looked thoughtful for a second before nodding. "See to it that one of your guards, Grizz, takes that position starting tomorrow." She looked at everyone in the room. "That's all for today."

Almost everyone filed out - Anto remained at his spot by the wall.

"Is it wise to be using this human as your guard?" he asked, motioning to Lauren. "Your only guard for today?"

Lauren didn't like the way he called her human.

Aria frowned. "Are you doubting my decisions Anto?"

The batarian shook his head. "Of course not-"

"Then we have nothing to talk about." Aria gave him a cold stare.

The batarian left without another word. Lauren didn't relax and instead narrowed her eyes at the door. She didn't like Anto. He'd been setting off alarm bells in her head for the past few weeks when she'd had contact with him. Something was off. "What the hell is his problem?"

Aria looked at her, an amused smile on her face. "He thinks I'm going to replace him."

"Are you?" Lauren asked.

Aria leaned back and put her hands in her lap. "No. I've known Anto for too long, and he's rather reliable. But lately his actions are telling me that he's forgotten how to be loyal. Liselle told me that you know about what's going on." She looked at Lauren. "How much do you know?"

Lauren wasn't surprised. According to Liselle her mother was always very blunt with people. She apparently liked to hear other's opinions, but she didn't like them enough that she always wanted to hear them. But she apparently liked honesty and loyalty. As long as Lauren was honest, Aria wouldn't have a reason to kill her. "Enough to know that you're looking into everyone in your organization. I don't know what you've found, but considering that you've asked me to be your guard, it must be something big enough to not trust Anto anymore. Am I getting close?"

Aria chuckled. "The Alliance taught you well."

"It pays to know everything you can before you walk into a trap," Lauren said dully.

"Wise words to live by. And I'm guessing that you didn't get those from an instructor, did you?"

"No. I got them from Commander Shepard back before she was the Hero of Elysium."

Aria looked at her. "I hear some bitterness in your voice."

Lauren looked away. "We have our problems with each other - problems that couldn't be settled with that thick skull of hers."

Aria looked her shoulder at Afterlife, which was starting to fill up with people. Lauren looked too, noticing that patrons were filing in. Dancers were taking their places on the bar and around it. The music in the club was starting to get louder. Aria stood up.

"I hope your ready for anything," The asari said as she moved to the middle of the couch. "Because Omega doesn't sleep and it doesn't stop."

Lauren looked at her. "And how do you know that?" she asked.

The asari smiled mischievously. "I am Omega."


	11. Chapter 11

_That job went from being alright to being completely bad in only a few minutes. Aria's agents were running into trouble and kept calling me on my comm, asking for instructions. And then people starting showing up and asking Aria for information and I had to find an informant to look into every matter. Her network was a lot more vast than I thought it was. She was asked from everything about information about a murder to who was bribing someone. Most of the answers she could give right away when I pulled up the information on the omni-tool she gave me. Other information was harder to find. It got busy enough that I started to notice why Garka was always so cross and grumpy with people. This job did not pay enough. _

_And then something horrible happened._

* * *

The asari didn't look right the moment she walked into the private room. Lauren noticed it immediately. The asari looked like she was going to be sick and she was unsteady on her feet. Lauren walked over and caught her as she fell to the ground. Aria and the rest of the occupants of the room cried out and walked over. Lauren gently lowered the asari to the ground and cupped her head in her hands, trying to get a look at the asari's eyes. Aria was standing nearby, confusion on her face.

"What happened?" Aria asked sternly.

The injured asari shook her head. "They stole the OSD - I didn't see them coming-"

"Where were you attacked?" Anto asked her.

The asari was fading out fast. "By the markets.."

Lauren noticed her eyes were dilated and that she had her hands clamped over her side. She pried the asari's hands back to find a bullet wound. Purple-blue blood spilled out of the wound. Lauren pressed her hands over it, stopping the blood flow.

"She needs a doctor," Lauren looked up at Aria.

Aria looked at the asari and then at a nearby guard. "Take her to the clinic nearby. Go fast."

The turian walked over. "Here-"

"Got any medi-gel?" Lauren asked him.

The turian nodded and pulled a small blue pouch seemingly out of nowhere. He ripped the top off and Lauren snatched it from him, applying it to the asari's wounds. The blood stopped almost instantly. The turian scooped up the asari, who was unconscious now. He left immediately with another guard behind him. Lauren looked up at Aria, who was furious.

"I want to know who did this," she barked at Anto, who was furiously typing on his omni-tool. "And I want the bastard dead!"

Lauren stood up and looked at her hand, cringing at the amount of blood on them. A nearby batarian handed her a rag. She thanked him and went about cleaning her hands, listening to Aria and Anto as they tried to figure out who could have done this.

"-What was she carrying?" Aria was asking Anto.

"She was carrying information that you requested about the ringleader of the pit fights," Anto replied, his fingers flying across his omni-tool screen. "It looks like we didn't get a good look at the person who snatched it -"

Aria looked at his omni-tool screen and her eyes narrowed. "I'd know that hump anywhere. That's Garm's second-in-command."

"How do you want this handled?" Anto asked her.

Aria walked to her perch and looked out at the busy floors of Afterlife. The whole room knew that she wasn't going to stop until the krogan who did this paid dearly for it - and Lauren knew what was coming next. Aria would have to make an example. The asari turned around and looked at Lauren, her eyes were like blue flames in the light. "I'll take care of it myself. Anto find this son of a bitch and send guards to box him in somewhere. Blue you're with me."

Lauren nodded and pulled her pistol out. Aria walked to the side of the room and pulled out a pistol of her own from it's hiding place and walked to the stairs. Lauren wasn't more than two steps behind the asari as they walked out of the club. As they walked patrons of the bar moved out of the asari's way; each of them understood what they were seeing as they walked by. Aria was on the hunt.

Anto's voice came over Lauren's comm. "Tell Aria that he's on the lower level by the salvage yard. My guards are on their way."

"They're at the salvage yard," Lauren told Aria.

The asari glanced over her shoulder. "Are there other guards on the way?"

"Yes," Lauren confirmed.

"Good," Aria narrowed her eyes. "Let's get this over with."

* * *

_It only took us a few minutes to get there. Anto and his guards were armed to the teeth and ready to go. Aria walked into the salvage yard first. My every nerve was on high alert. When the first shot rang out - we were more than ready for it._

* * *

Aria ducked behind cover as more shots rang out. Lauren crouched behind a crate nearby, listening for where the shooters were. The shots were coming from above and she stuck her head out for only a second, staring at the catwalk above before ducking behind cover again. There were six vorcha. She waited for a break in their shots before she stood up and fired. Six perfect shots sent vorcha bodies tumbling off the catwalk. Before the bodies could hit the concrete floor she was aiming at reinforcements that were rushing out from behind cover all along the salvage yard. Lauren's stomach twisted up into a knot as the adrenaline kicked in. She could hear Aria and Anto yelling at guards to take cover as they saw the floods of reinforcements. Everyone knew what had happened before Lauren started to fire at the vorcha.

They'd been surrounded.

Lauren fired off seven well timed shots at the first vorcha she saw. Seven perfect headshots before she retreated to cover to avoid being shot. Aria was right next to her, firing off shots behind them at other targets. She was no marksman - Lauren only saw three shots that hit their intended targets. But that didn't matter. What mattered was the ones with heavy weaponry. Lauren dove out from behind cover and squeezed off four shots. She didn't have time to see if they hit their targets and went back to her cover.

Aria suddenly stood up to her right and threw her arm out, sending a wave of biotics at a charging krogan. Lauren stood up and fired at him, effectively killing the krogan before he could get up. A shot suddenly hit her shields, sending her back behind cover again. From what she could hear, the guards weren't faring as well. Two had been hit but hadn't been killed. Anto was somewhere behind her, shouting about advancing vorcha.

It was Lauren's worst fear. They were surrounded and the vorcha were advancing. If she didn't do something within the next minute they'd be overrun. Aria would be dead and Omega would be thrown into a violent bloody civil war. It took her two seconds to think of everything she couldn't do because of how she was pinned down. When she saw something to her left. A tank of something with a fire-suppression system next to it. She didn't even think. She shouted into the comm and fired off three shots at the tanks. Aria suddenly dropped next to her, taking cover.

And sudddenly everything was on fire. She could hear the screams of the vorcha and krogans that were caught in the explosions and flames. When the sounds of things burning overtook the screams, the comm was suddenly alive. Lauren ignored it and stood up, checking the area for signs of the surviving blood pack. She saw them running further into the salvage yard and lowered her gun. She looked around and noticed Aria was still crouched and giving orders through the comm.

"-after them and make sure they're dead. Get these flames put out too!" she barked. She looked up at Lauren. "What the hell were you thinking?" she asked breathlessly.

Lauren shrugged slightly. "Something along the lines of 'hey, that'll explode'."


	12. Chapter 12

Lauren walked through the charred remains of the left side of the salvage yard. Salvage yard workers were picking through it to find pieces of scrap metal that could be re-used to fix the destroyed building. Aria's guards scowered the place, searching for any remaining blood pack members. Lauren assumed that they were long gone by now and that there wouldn't be any activity from them in the next month. Aria stood silently nearby surpervising the removal of the dead bodies. Lauren knew why she was doing it. She had to be sure that the krogan's body was there so her enemies knew that he died for crossing her. If he wasn't there...

Lauren looked down at a piece of rubble and nudged it with her foot, trying not to imagine what would happen to her if his body was never found. Aria was not happy with her after she caused the explosion - even though she had done it to save their lives. She nudged the piece of rubble again, flipping it over. She saw a familiar looking insignia and bent over to pick it up. The metal was twisted and burned, but the insignia wasn't. She squinted at it, trying to remember where she had seen it before. A six sided shape with two lines beside it. She wiped her finger over it and discovered that the insignia was orange.

Orange.

_Screams echoed in her ears, making her run faster, her heart pounding in her chest so hard that it hurt. She stared straight ahead, but she could still see them being devoured behind her as she ran. Finally she heard a noise, another scream ahead of her. Fearing that there was another monster in front of her she stopped, crouching down on the ground. Four men stood around another, bright orange insignias on the vehicle next to them..._

Lauren snapped out of...whatever that was. _Had that...been Akuze?_ She wondered numbly. The rubble was on the ground now and she realized she was on her knees. Footsteps approached her and she looked up. Aria was staring at her with stern eyes.

"We're going back to Afterlife," she said.

Lauren nodded and stood up. She looked at the piece of rubble and savagely kicked it, sending it across the salvage yard and into a bigger pile of rubble. She looked at Aria, who looked skeptical. "What?"

"Nothing," Aria said. "Let's go."

* * *

The rest of the night was filled with Aria barking orders at different agents that came into her box. They were all desperately looking around for the krogan - all of them trying to avoid Aria's wrath. Liselle wasn't even amongst those who came into the box. But being Aria's daughter, Lauren thought quietly, she must know her mother's anger firsthand. And she must know to avoid her mother. Lauren was not so lucky.

Besides Aria's constant orders in her direction, Lauren was experiencing combat fatique. Her muscles were basically numb and it took more effort to stay standing then it did to finish Aria's orders.

"Reminder to self," she mumbled quietly as she fiddled with her omni-tool. "Never fight on an empty stomach again."

One of the nearby guards overheard her and grunted. "I hear ya." he muttered.

Lauren smiled as she pulled up the information Aria wanted and transferred it to a datapd for her to read. She took the datapad and began to read through it. Lauren went back to her spot, grateful that the asari was calming down. She checked her omni-tool. She was supposed to be done with this job an hour ago. Aria seemed to notice that Lauren was fidgetting and glanced up at her, only to look back down at her datapad.

"You're dismissed, Blue." Aria said quietly.

Lauren looked at her and blinked before walking out of the private box and to Afterlife. As she did so she could hear the other guard mumble.

"So she gets to leave and go eat, but we don't?"

* * *

Lauren walked into her apartment and stripped out of her armor, leaving it haphazardly on the floor. She walked into her shower and turned it on, cringing as the cold water hit her skin. That...memory...whatever it was - was occupying her mind. She didn't know what it was - was it a flashback or was it made up? Could she have been imagining things?

_No,_ she thought. _It felt too real to be made up. _

It had to be real. So she had to be remembering Akuze. "And I'm not so sure it's a good thing anymore."

_NO!_ She scolded herself. _You want to remember what happened. This is a good thing. You've remembered something - it may be the best memory out of all of them or the worst. You won't know until you remember all of it.__ Grit your teeth and think about it. _


	13. Chapter 13

_I spent that whole night lying awake in my bed. Trying to think about Akuze - what I could remember. It was like trying to open a door with a key that looked like it would fit, but you knew it wouldn't._

* * *

She didn't know if there were any survivors. Her father confirmed when she woke up that she was the only person they'd found. When he said found instead of alive, she knew what it meant. There weren't a lot of pieces of her men left. It was a horrible thought, but somehow it was comforting. She knew if they'd found someone alive out there, that they'd probably have suffered a lot more by the time they actually died. She remembered the pain she'd experienced when she was in the hospital.

She'd asked for weeks if they knew whose bodies still hadn't been found, but her father wouldn't tell her much. She assumed it was because he didn't know, but he knew. He was the officer in charge of notifying the families. The families. Those were the darkest days in that hospital to Lauren - when some of the family members came to see if she knew anything. They brought pictures of their loved ones and asked about their last day alive. She told them what she could - about the last few hours before they hit groundside - some were grateful and some were not.

Were they eaten? Do you remember what happened to them? Do you know where his body might be? Do you know what it's like raising our sons without their father? THey bombarded her with question after question - until she begged a nurse to put her under again - that way they'd leave. But she knew why they were so upset. Unlike her mother and father, they didn't have their loved one. They had what 'could be' a piece of them. They hoped they would turn up alive - but everyone else knew that if they hadn't been found when the first teams landed, that they had either died from their wounds or been eaten completely.

The thresher maws were very good at leaving no evidence of their nests. Six teams with heavy weapons killed all the maws, and recovered what dogtags they could find. Lauren knew that what they'd seen would probably have scarred most of them for life. Digging body parts out of bloody sand, only to be unsure of who they belonged to. DNA could only go so far. Soon, most of the families had confirmation that their loved ones were dead. Dead and buried on Akuze.

It wasn't a comforting thought to Lauren. But what could she do - go dig in the sand and recover what must have been eaten or what could have decomposed? She sighed and walked to her terminal, grabbing a shirt from the floor. She didn't know why she wanted to talk to him. But she did. She turned on her terminal, sending off a ping to her father.

Four minutes later her terminal was recieving a phone call.

"Lauren?" Her father's face looked dishelved, worried.

"I remembered something," she blurted out. She bit her lip.

Her father's face turned to confusion and then he must have realized what she was talking about, as he seemed more alert. "What did you remember?" he asked.

"I-I don't know, really. I think - I think I was running from the maws. I could hear them screaming, and as I was running I heard a scream from in front of me. I dropped to the ground and - and..." She frowned.

"What is it?" her father asked.

"I saw four people and a vehicle leaning over someone else." She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "I don't know who they were."

"Probably colonists," her father assured her quietly. "Is that all you remembered?"

She nodded.

He brought a hand up to rub at his eyes. "I don't know what to tell you - that's more than likely when you escaped. You did end up a mile away from that place." He suddenly stopped rubbing at his eyes. "Did you call to tell me this?"

Lauren bit her lip again and nodded. "You - you were the first person I could think of."

He seemed to be thinking about something.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I think you should start keeping a log of these things as you remember them. Maybe you can try piercing them together - it might help you remember everything." He said slowly. "And if you do remember everything, I think you should come to the Alliance headquarters on the Citadel and tell them everything you know. Your report on the whole thing was never really filed."

"You think it might help?" she asked him.

He shrugged. "It might help everyone else understand what happened. Hell, it might just get everyone to stop bringing you up-"

"Who brings me up?" Lauren interjected.

"Officers that don't actually like me." Her father said bluntly. "It doesn't matter - what matters is that you're remembering things. Whatever you're doing, it's working."

Lauren nodded. "I haven't even been here for that long either."

"Can I know now where you are?" her father asked. "I'm not going to come after you - I've got bigger problems right now."

He wasn't lying. She knew when he was. What did she have to loose? "I'm on Omega."

He blinked and looked concerned. "Omega?"

She nodded. "Omega."

"Please tell me you're being careful-"

"I'm being careful."

"What are you even doing there?" He asked.

She shifted. "Working."

He looked concerned. "Not as a dancer, I hope-"

"Oh god no!" Lauren made a face. "I can't dance anyways."

Her father laughed. "So you did inherit something from me besides the blonde hair and blue eyes."


	14. Chapter 14

After the phonecall ended, Lauren felt a little lightheaded. It wasn't from the phonecall, it was because she hadn't eaten. She stood up and grabbed her jacket, zipping it up and pulling the hood over her head. She knew where a human-run food stand was. It was dingy and kind of a dive, but they made huge quantities of good food. Not food grown from a vat. She picked up her pistol and hid it in her jacket pocket, hoping she wouldn't need to use it while she went out for food.

She locked her apartment door behind her and took off down towards the marketplace. It was rather early, so the markets were devoid of people. She didn't have to worry about bumping in to anyone and rubbing her tattoo the wrong way. As she walked around the corner to the food stand, her senses were bombarded. She could smell the food cooking, hear it cooking, and finally she could see it cooking. She walked up to the counter and watched the chef as he prepared a batch of fries.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

Despite the fact that he was speaking english, it took her a minute to figure out what he was saying with his accent. She looked at the wall menu. "Yeah, I need a lot of food."

"Biotic?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yeah. Can I get two number three's?"

He nodded. "Both with fries?" he asked. "Or one with fries and one with onions?"

"One with fries and one with onions," she tilted her head at the menu. "And water."

He nodded and punched in the total on his omni-tool. "That's fifteen credits."

She handed him her card and he swiped it before handing it back. "Thanks."

"Most people around here don't use the swipe-chit. They prefer to use the actual chits." He commented.

She shrugged. "It's easier for me to keep track of."

He turned away and began to busy himself with cooking, leaving Lauren alone at the counter. She decided to go on the extranet and turned on her omni-tool. She hadn't checked the news recently - mostly because it didn't matter this far out in the terminus system. She scrolled through a few pages until she found something that almost stopped her in her tracks.

_Commander A. Shepard - first human appointed Spectre: Today after a meeting with the Council, Commander Aeron Shepard of the Alliance was promoted as a member of the Spectres. This makes Commander Shepard the first human Spectre ever in Council history. _

Lauren blinked. "That...How did that?"

_I'm not going to come after you - I've got bigger problems._ Her father must be involved with this. She brought up her inbox and fired off a message to him, asking if he knew about this. The man behind the counter set down a paper bag in front of her and she glanced up. "Thanks."

"No problem." he said, moving away to another customer.

She picked up the bags and started back towards her apartments. Her omni-tool beeped at her and she clicked on the new message, jumbling her bag around to her right hand.

_I recommended her file to Ambassador Udina. Talked to her about a mission - she asked about you._

She looked at her food and back at her omni-tool. There was no way she could type a response until she made it back to her apartment. When she made it in her door and set her food down on her desk by her terminal, she began typing a message back to him.

_What did you say? You didn't tell her I was out in the Terminus systems did you?_

Her father's message was almost instant. _I didn't know where you were when she asked. I called you a few minutes after. Do you want me to tell her where you are?_

_No thanks. Rather not get dragged back a hospital. I've learned that lesson._ She turned to her food and opened the first container, taking in the smell of what she ordered. Good burgers with imitation beef - not varren meat - with real vegetables. It was hard to come by, even on Earth. She dug into her food, trying to forget that Shepard had just been promoted to the highest military authority in Council Space, and reminded herself that she was on Omega. Even if Shepard showed up here - there was no way that she could - she had no authority here.

* * *

_I went back to Aria the next day was greeted by Liselle, who was in her mother's spot. She handed me a datapad and told me Aria was busy doing her own personal business around Omega and that I was supposed to come back in a few hours. So I wasted time at the bar with Derimus until I saw Aria walk back into Afterlife. She looked pissed as hell and for a minute I wondered if it was a good idea to go up there. But a jobs a job, no matter if the boss is pissed or not._


	15. Chapter 15

_That meeting was the worst I've ever been in. And I've been in meetings where all we've discussed the possibility of another meeting. Aria had her most trusted there. The only reason I was there was because she had a new job. Someone told her I worked in the pit fights - and apparently she needed someone to go into the fights as an informant. _

_The reason she picked me was because I hadn't died before when I fought - and the pit fights were usually until the death or until one party was seriously injured. The only reason anyone died was because the pit fighters were usually biotics. Or big krogans. Really big krogans._

_Kaar, the krogan who escaped, was apparently given a place to hide by a shadow broker agent - who was a pit fighter. In order to get rid of them both, I would have to figure out who the agent was. And kill them in the fights. Simple and easy she said._

_Bullshit._

* * *

Lauren stood at the edge of a large crowd in one of the warehouses. Patrons of the illegal bar were watching two people fighting in the pit at the center of the crowd. Two asari were throwing biotics at each other in the lower pit. Blue flared all around them, and purple was slowly dripping onto the floor. Lauren looked away when the left asari finally threw the other into the wall, causing the second to go limp, hitting the ground with a dull thump. The fight was over. The experienced asari had won. The winner limped up the stairs, and the loser had to be dragged out of the pit, leaving blood on the steel floor.

The pit boss motioned towards Lauren and at another asari. It was her turn to fight. Lauren walked to the stairs on her end of the pit and walked down. Her opponent was an inexperienced asari maiden. Lauren knew the moment she walked onto the floor that this fight would be over fast. Her opponent was nervous, constantly clenching and unclenching her fists. Her eyes weren't focusing on Lauren, but the crowd.

From the looks of it, the asari couldn't have been more than twenty years out of her mother's home. Lauren stepped forward and brought her arms up in a defensive position in front of her. She was ready when the pit boss gave the start signal. The asari came at her, one fist pulled back.

Lauren dug her heel in the ground and dodged her fist, throwing her own well-aimed punch at the girl's exposed stomach. When it collided the asari flew backwards a few feet. Lauren never gave her the chance to recover. She punched the asari repeatedly and even got a kick in before she fell to the ground. Lauren backed up and circled the fallen asari, like a cat playing with it's food.

Lauren's heart was pounding and adrenaline was coursing through her veins when the asari got back up. Her ribs had to be broken. She was crouched when she gave the signal that she was finished. Lauren's fast attack at her unguarded ribcage finished her before the fight even started. The pit boss called the fight in Lauren's favor, and a guard came down to fetch the beaten asari. Lauren turned to the stairs and walked up. The first few fights of the night were always easy. After the inexperienced were done fighting, the pit boss would pair the winners together. And then the night would really begin. But first, Lauren walked to the far end of the warehouse, she needed a drink.

* * *

Lauren watched as two turians circled each other in the pit. They were good - so far only one had been injured. A broken spur, Lauren noted. If he made it past this round, it would be a good thing to use against him. One turian lashed out, his talons managing to connect with the other turian's fringe as he dodged. The turian who dodged lashed out and connected with the other's chest. She watched as the first turian viciously attacked the second, effectively breaking another spur. With two broken spurs and scratches across his face, he was done.

The pit boss motioned to Lauren again and to a human across. He was tall and very muscular. She could see the crowd betting against her, figuring she would fall prey to the larger man. But Lauren had biotics - which were allowed.

The first minute in the pit was full of her attempting to dodge the man's fists. The second she got an opening she threw her hands out, effectively sending the man flying into the other wall. He hit with a loud thud. The crowd was roaring. Her opponent began to get up, his eyes staring at Lauren in shock.

"Come at me again," she snarled at him.

* * *

_That guy broken three of my ribs, two fingers, and covered me in bruises from his fists. I ended up breaking his nose, arm, foot, and four of his ribs. I limped out after knocking him unconscious and walked promptly to the pit boss. He paid me for that night's fights and I went back to my apartment. I ended up spending some of my winnings on a visit to a clinic the next morning to have my ribs and fingers fixed. But that was part of it. You get your ass kicked, get fixed up, sleep for a day, and then repeat it all over again. Sometimes for a week straight, other times only for a few days. But it was worth it. They paid you to beat the shit out of someone. It was better than therapy._


	16. Chapter 16

_My second memory of Akuze was not pleasant._

* * *

Lauren could smell sulfur and blood. She looked around through her helmet, her gun ready for anything she came across. She could hear the other teams in the sand around her, all of them taking up positions alongside her team. She followed her commanding officer, Conners, as he walked carefully through the flat terrain. He seemed to have spotted something and moved forward, leaving her and the others standing in a circle. The stench of blood and death were practically all around them.

Conners bent over, his hands brushing away at the dirt. "What the - oh my god." Lauren walked over, looking at what he was staring at. A human arm was protuding from the sand. It was covered in gashes, blood and sand. There was no way the owner of the hand was still alive - it looked like it had been ripped off at the shoulder. Lauren felt sick. He stood up and looked back at them. "Fan out, look for survivors."

Lauren nodded and began to move out with her team towards a nearby small hill. Before she reached it, she noticed the dirt and sand at her feet was stained red. "What the hell happened here?" she muttered.

Then the ground shook. Every marine on the ground stood perfectly still, swiveling around to look for something - anything - that could be causing this. It ended as quickly as it came. Conners lowered his weapon and looked around. "Must be seismic activity - that doesn't explain the blood. Or the undamaged colony."

"What are you thinking, sir?" another marine asked. Toombs.

"It might be -" The ground violently shook again. Suddenly it seemed like there was an explosion from the middle of the scattered marines. Dirt flew high in the air and rocks rained down on other people. Then a high-pitched noise from hell hit the marines - followed by a monster from hell. Lauren stood in shock as a thresher maw burst from the ground, sending a few marines flying in the air. "THRESHER MAW!" Conners shouted in the comm. "MOVE!"

* * *

Lauren woke up in her bed, her eyes blinking at her ceiling. Her sheets were twisted around her legs and her fists were clenched. Her mind was spinning. That was Akuze. She sat up and wiped her face with her hand, feeling sick to her stomach. She stood up from her bed and stumbled to her terminal - pulling up the log that her father suggested she keep. She already had the other memory written in it. She started typing, trying to remember all she could. When she finished she saved the log and closed it, bringing her knees up to her chest and hugged them.

Did she want to know what happened next? She buried her face, trying to keep herself from throwing up. The stench of sulfur, blood and dirt was firmly in her head now. Her whole body ached. When her stomach finally unknotted itself, Lauren lifted her head and brought up her omni-tool. She scrolled through endless junk messages before she stumbled across one from Deacon.

_To: Lauren Hackett_

_From: Joshiah Deacon_

_About: Shepard_

_Hackett told me you're still alive. And where you were. I'm gonna be in the area in a few days - is there a safe place where we can drinks? You know, if your not busy dancing on a table somewhere..._

Lauren snorted at the last sentence. Contrary to popular belief, the Butcher of Torfan actually had a sense of humor. She typed up a message, shoving the thoughts of Akuze out of her head.

_HAHAHA. You're so funny. You still shooting a little too far to the left? How about Afterlife? Send me a message when you land and I'll come meet you._

She shut off her omni-tool. _What to do now_, she thought.

She looked around and noticed the statue of Athame was still not properly set up on that shelf that Lauren had put aside for her. Perfect. She walked to her bed and fished out her unopened bag from Thessia. She'd discovered the asari religion during one of her deployments. Being on a small human colony gave her time to reflect on her life and gave her time to examine her life. An asari doctor on the colony had a small aclove set up in her office - Lauren noticed it when she went to go get stitches. And her curiousity took over from there.

While she was on Thessia she'd bought a few religious pieces from the local shops and temples. Silky blue fabric that shone purple in the right light, a small incense burner with incense from the temples, and a few small meditative statues about three inches tall. She arranged the items on her shelf, placing the statue of Athame in the center at the back of the shelf, that way it wouldn't fall off the shelf. The last item in the shelf was a rather soft pillow that matched the fabric she bought. It was for meditating - something Lauren hadn't done in months.

She put the pillow down on the floor and sat down on it, ignoring the pain from her ribs. She needed a distraction - and meditation fit the bill.


	17. Chapter 17

Lauren stood at the space dock, watching as people filed off the shuttle. She was looking for one in particular. She noticed the tall man immediately and stood on her tiptoes, hoping he would see her. Deacon was a foot and a half taller than her - even when they were in training. He was even taller than Shepard, who was considered tall for a woman. He began to walk her way and she began to rock back and forth on her feet. She was happy and excited to see her good friend - even if he hadn't been on her side in the hospital. Her father had explained to her why a few days ago when they talked.

Deacon smiled at her, obviously laughing inside his head about how she rocked on her feet. "I think you shrank." he said to her.

Lauren punched him lightly in the stomach. "I think you fucking grew again, asshole. I didn't shrink." She noticed his hair. "You've shaved all your hair off."

Deacon ran a hand over it. "Yeah, I kinda had to. It doesn't look that bad, does it?"

Lauren could still tell that he had light brown hair and shrugged. "Looks fine. Come on - we better leave before the scavengers show up."

She turned on her heel and wove her way back towards the elevator that would take them up to her apartment's level - and to Afterlife. "So what have you been up to?" She looked up at him.

Deacon shrugged. "Not a whole shit ton. They put me on administrative again."

"What'd you do?"

He looked down at her. "What makes you think I did something?"

She looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "Because you have a habit of breaking and entering."

"Fair enough," he looked straight ahead of them. "I had a nice arguement with someone about the validity of my orders on Torfan. Turned into a fight - I won. Loser had to go to the hospital."

"Ouch," Lauren walked to the elevator and squeezed in next to a few asari. The asari were staring at Deacon and whispering amongst themselves. It was no doubt that it was odd - to see a short blonde woman next to a much taller man. Deacon pretended not to notice the asari and walked briskly off the elevator after Lauren, who was headed for Afterlife. As they rounded the corner, Lauren noticed that Gavern was standing there, fiddling with his omni-tool. He was obviously waiting for someone, and Lauren had a feeling that it might be her. "Hey Gavern!"

The turian looked up, making a clicking sound that her translator didn't catch. "Ah, Blue. You got that report for Aria?"

Lauren nodded. "Was going to drop it off before I took my friend to the bar."

Garven eyed Deacon. "Alright. Be quick about it, huh? Aria's in a good mood today."

Lauren left Gavern there and walked inside Afterlife, with Deacon not too far behind her. He looked down at her. "You work for Aria?"

She elbowed him. "Be quiet. Follow me, don't say anything." She headed for Aria's loft - a nickname she'd come up with when bored - with Deacon right behind her. She walked up the stairs and was stopped by Anto.

"Who is this?" he demanded.

"A friend. He's not dangerous, I swear." Lauren straightened up. "And he's not armed."

Anto narrowed all four of his eyes before letting Lauren and Deacon walk into the loft. Lauren walked up to where Aria was sitting and rummaged through her pocket for the OSD. "Here's what you asked for," Lauren said calmly.

Aria tilted her head at Lauren and glanced at Deacon. She nodded her head at her guard, who took the OSD from Lauren. "Thank you. You can go."

* * *

Lauren leaned back in her seat at the bar. Deacon was staring at her, dumbfounded. "Let me get this straight," he said quietly. "You decided to come to Omega and work as a mercenary - so you could remember Akuze?"

"Yep," Lauren took a sip of her brandy.

"And its working." He whistled. "Damn."

Lauren took another sip. "What have you been doing besides administrative work?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

"Not a whole shit-load of a lot. I got a job offer a few days ago."

"Is it big?" Lauren asked.

"It involves joining Shepard's crew," Deacon was watching her carefully. He knew that Lauren and Aeron hadn't spoken since the incident.

Lauren stared at him with a cocked eyebrow. "Don't tell me you're considering taking the job."

"Why not? Shepard's on board the new warship - the SSV Normandy. Co-designed, top of the line in technology." Deacon looked back at his drink. "She offered-"

"She's not the same, Josiah." Lauren said suddenly. Her eyes were focused on her drink.

"People change, Lauren."

"She didn't change. She became a totally different person overnight."

"So? I think she's become a better person. She's a Spectre now."

Lauren snorted. "She's not one of us anymore."

Deacon frowned. "What do you mean? If anyone isn't one of us - it's you. You're not in the alliance anymore."

"So? I'm still me, that's obvious."

She had a point. Deacon leaned back in his chair. "So you're saying that she's not Aeron anymore."

"No, she's 'Shepard'." Lauren sighed. "It used to be Deacon, Lauren, and Aeron. Now its Deacon, Lauren, Shepard."

Lauren was right. Aeron was no longer carefree and gentle - she was some battle-hardened Spectre. Lauren was still remotely the same. She was still the rebellious bitch of the three and Deacon hadn't changed as far as he knew. "She changed after you fought with her."

Lauren laughed. "No she didn't - she changed long before it. As soon as the media showed she was the Hero of Elysium - she changed. You didn't notice until after she abandoned me."

"She went after you."

"She also didn't show up to my mother's funeral." Lauren said bitterly.

He remembered the funeral. Lauren had just been released from the hospital after Shepard had forcefully taken her back when her mother had been shot and killed. The funeral had been on Earth, in her mother's hometown. Half of the Admirals in the Alliance and about two hundred people had been present. Maria had been a courageous woman in her life and had made hundreds of friends that she kept in close contact with. Even Shepard's mother, Hannah, had been present.

But Shepard had not.

"She's changed, Deacon. That's all I'm saying - when you go on her ship - it won't be the same as before all this happened." Lauren drained her glass. "And I have a feeling that nothing will ever be the same ever again."

"I know what you mean," he said as he picked up his glass. "Somethings coming. Something big."


	18. Chapter 18

_The next time I looked at the extranet, it said that Deacon had joined Shepard onboard her ship. Shepard was doing important things for the Council apparently on Feros and I was still fighting in the pits. After two weeks Aria had managed to narrow down all the fighter profiles with information that she'd dug up or received from informants. It was a lengthy process, but we got a break. The krogan that escaped was staying with an asari. There were only two. Aria made her move and had her agents grab them, which turned into a fight across three levels as the two asari tried to escape. Liselle managed to capture one, while I captured the other._

* * *

"Let go of me!" she struggled while Lauren held onto her arms. "I didn't do anything!"

"Aria says differently. Now shut up," Lauren tightened her grip on the asari's arms. "And walk."

"Fuck you!" the asari said, struggling.

Lauren rolled her eyes and kept walking, dragging the asari next to her. Anto's agents were close by, weapons aimed at the ground. They walked for a few minutes with the asari screaming at them to let her go. It was grating on Lauren's nerves and she showed her displeasure by dragging the woman by one arm. Finally, one of the turian agents stopped and looked at Lauren.

"Can we just fucking knock her out and carry her?" he asked irritably.

The asari looked wildly from the turian to Lauren. Lauren stared down at her. "I'm not going to carry her unconscious ass."

He flared his mandibles. "Point taken."

He walked a few steps away and went back to his conversation with another agent. Lauren jerked the asari up. "Walk," she commanded.

The asari refused to move, staring defiantely at Lauren. "Fuck. You." she snarled.

Lauren sighed and pulled the alien up to her eye level. "Alright bitch, let me explain something to you - this isn't going to work out for you. No matter if you struggle or not, you're still getting the fuck beat out of you. So just do us all a favor and walk, alright?"

The asari started screaming in asari curses. Lauren pulled out her pistol and slammed it down on the asari's head. She went limp and fell to the floor. Lauren holstered her pistol and looked at the unconscious alien before bending over to throw her over her shoulder. She was heavy. "God damn it."

* * *

Aria watched as Lauren dumped an unconscious asari on the floor, grumbling as she did so. She raised an eyebrow at the human and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "What did you do?"

"She wouldn't shut up and stop struggling. I had to knock her out. She'll wake up if you smack her face hard enough."

"Your vast amount of wisdom is impressive," Liselle said dryly.

Lauren glared at her before walking over to a nearby wall to join the other agents. Aria looked at Liselle, who was gently nudging the other asari.

"Put her with the other one," Aria looked at Anto. "We'll leave them there for a few days."

"I'm pretty sure you have to feed them too," Lauren said from her wall, a smirk on her face. "You know, at least once a day."

Anto glared at Lauren before ordering his men to take the asari into the backroom. He followed his agents out, leaving Lauren and Liselle with Aria.

"What do we do now that we have them?" Liselle asked.

"Starve them, tempt them with food for information, get the information, kill them, and leave their corpses where someone will find them," Lauren answered automatically.

Aria and Liselle both looked at the human, who was rubbing at her left wrist. Lauren looked up at Aria and blinked. "Can I go now?"

"Yes."

Aria and her daughter watched as Lauren left, the door shutting silently behind her. "Is she right," Liselle looked up at her mother. "Will you kill them?"

"Yes."

Liselle looked conflicted. "All this, over some krogan?"

"Liselle," Aria looked at her daughter with a stern expression. "Stay out of this."

"What is going on mother?" Liselle asked. "First you think keep everyone out of the loop with information - now you're chasing some krogan."

Aria looked away from her. "Go get some sleep, Liselle. We'll talk about this later."


	19. Chapter 19

Derimus watched as Blue stared at the glass in front of her. She looked perplexed and somewhat startled. She looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "Alright, I give up. What is it?"

Derimus chuckled. "Asari Illium brandy."

Lauren snorted. "Of course. Alright, next one."

Derimus picked up her glass and filled it with a green liquid, before setting it down in front of her. It was nice of Blue to come visit in Afterlife's off hours. That's when Derimus came up with this game. He'd give her a glass and she'd attempt to figure out what's in it. Then she'd fill one and expect him to do the same. He set the glass down and she picked it up. She took a small sip of it and closed her eyes. Derimus watched quietly.

Lauren's eyes snapped open and she smiled. "It's honey mead. From Earth."

Derimus made a clicking noise. "Damn. Thought I'd get you with that one."

"My mom used to drink this," Lauren drained the rest of her glass. "My turn!"

She walked down to the dextro half of the bar and turned her back to Derimus, pouring him a glass. He honestly had no idea what she'd picked, but it was orange. She walked back down the bar and set it in front of him. He picked up the glass and took a sip of it. It was spicy. He hastily swallowed, knowing what she'd picked.

"Turian spiced beer," he said proudly.

"Fuck," Lauren pouted. "Thought I'd get you with that one."

"Having fun?" a smooth voice asked from nearby.

They both turned to see Aria standing there. "Aria-" Derimus stuttered.

"Don't worry Derimus," Aria said quietly. "I just came to collect Lauren. We need to have a chat."

Lauren looked at Aria. "Alright. You win Derimus, 5 to 3."

* * *

Aria's blue eyes were staring at Lauren from her place on the couch. "What's this about?"

"I need to explain to you what's going on, so you can be ready for what's going to happen."

"What do you mean? Did the asari give you any information?"

"Yes. They did. Anto is collecting the krogan as we speak. Which is why you're here." Aria motioned at the couch. "I need to explain to you my plan."

Lauren sat down. "Why do I need to hear it?"

"Because you're the only one I can trust. Let me explain." She looked at Lauren. "This might take a while."

"I have time."

"A month before you arrived on the station I intercepted a transmission from the shadow broker to Garm and the other leaders of the mercenary groups on the station. It said that he'd give them information in return that when they take the station from me, that the broker be allowed to use it as a base. It also said that one of my agents was willing to trade information about my schedule for Liselle."

"That's disgusting."

Aria continued on. "So I did some cleaning in my organization. I started keeping Liselle close to me. I changed my schedule and switched guards. The next message I found said that the agent had informed the broker that I changed my organization around again, but that he was still willing to help. And then I realized that the broker and the others think I'm unaware of their impending invasion. So I plan to use this to my advantage. And that's when you showed up on the station."

"Why me?"

"Because you have no reason to betray me." Aria leaned forward and picked up her glass. "Anto has started to explore different employment routes recently and I needed someone else to help. You fit the bill, and so I started watching you."

"That's when you put out the rumors of the job that no one would take." She was smart for a human.

"Back to the point. They're going to come to Afterlife while it's supposed to be open. They are going to kill me and take over."

"And you have a plan to stop it."

Aria smiled. "Of course I do. We are going to empty Afterlife, make it look like it's open. You are going to be inside - as my representative - when they come inside. My trusted agents will have guns to the krogan's head, the asari sisters, the eclipse leader's broodmate, and the brother of one of the blue suns leaders here on the station."

"We're going to shoot them in front of the crowd of people who are here to kill you." Lauren raised an eyebrow. "What will keep them from killing us when we do?"

"A mass effect barrier that has been installed in Afterlife as of today," Aria smiled mischieviously. "No paperwork involved either, I did it myself."

"Powerful, intimidating, beautiful and handy. Who would have thought."

Aria almost missed the third word in her sentence. Beautiful. It caught her off-guard. She blinked for a few seconds before realizing that Lauren was staring at her, one eyebrow raised and a questioning look on her face. "It'll be a message they can't ignore. No one tries to take my station."

"So the message is along the lines, 'don't fuck with Aria'?" Lauren asked.

Aria liked the way that sounded. "The rule of Omega. Don't fuck with Aria."

"Did you just steal what I came up with because it sounded good?"

"Do you always ask questions?"

"Yes, why?"


	20. Chapter 20

_Aria's plan was simple, elegant, and straight to the point. No mercenary would dare ever try to take the station again as long as Aria was in control. She explained to me that she wanted me to be her representative because she wanted me to have a more vital role in her organization. She asked if I was ready for something like this. I told her the honest truth - I just wanted to fight and keep myself busy. She didn't press the issue, but assured me that there would always be fights as long as she was in control. And that after all this was over, I'd have a position in her organization that practically existed solely to fight. Enforcer._

_In mercenary terms, in case you don't understand, Enforcer means that I do anything and everything. It means I'm an assassin, a debt collector, a bouncer, and an advisor. Enforcers who were unexperienced died quickly - but those who were experienced (Like Anto, for example) lived to take on bigger roles in an organization. Anto had been Aria's Enforcer long before he was her second-in-command._

_The mercenaries were gearing up to take Afterlife in two days. Aria wanted everyone ready by then, so I had a lot of work to do._

* * *

Lauren stared at the five people tied in the backroom of Afterlife. Aria had asked her to confirm who they were. So far scans had showed that they were who she was lookking for, but she had to be sure. She looked at her datapad and then at the prisoners, who were all gagged. She walked to the first one and pulled the gag out of the salarian's mouth. She was greeted by a string of salarian curses that her translator didn't catch.

"Are you Jaroth's broodmate, Salam?" she asked him.

"Fuck you," the salarian answered.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'." Lauren scrolled down the datapad and made a note before she shoved the gag back in his mouth. Anto watched her from the door as she walked up to the next prisoner.

"Alright," Lauren pulled the gag out of the asari's mouth. "You're the Shadow Broker's agent, correct?"

The asari glared up at her. She cursed at Lauren in asari, calling her a motherless whore. Lauren raised an eyebrow and called her an Ardat-Yakshi, causing the asari to go silent. She looked at the other asari, who was tied up with her sister.

"And you're her sister, another Shadow Broker agent? What a sad family business." Lauren put the gag back in the asari's mouth and went to the next prisoner.

The krogan. "You're the second-in-command to Garm. So you are Chet." The krogan grunted at her.

Lauren patted him on the top of his head. "Nice to meet you too, Chet. Not sorry I have to kill you in a few days."

She moved on down the line to the last prisoner. A batarian. She didn't want to pull the gag away, but she had to. If they had anything to say, they were to say it now. And so far, all they'd done was swear at her. "You are Marka, Tarak's cousin or brother?"

The batarian stared up at her, defiantely silent.

Lauren raised an eyebrow. "Cousin or brother?"

"Cousin," he answered. "You wouldn't know about family, would you human?"

Lauren stood up. "No, I wouldn't. But a filthy batarian wouldn't know about duty and honor, would they?" she said coldly.

She looked at Anto. "Make sure they're kept in the dark for the next forty-eight hours. No beating, no killing."

Anto narrowed his eyes. "I don't take orders from you."

Lauren walked to him and held out her datapad. "This says you do. When you're done reading it, take it to Aria."

Anto took the datapad with one hand, hesitating like Lauren had done something to it, before he read it. When he finished he looked at her, his eyes full of silent anger. "I'll make sure this gets to her."

"Good," Lauren turned and walked to the door. "I have to go meet Liselle."

* * *

Liselle glanced at Lauren from her seat at the bar. Lauren's eyes glanced in her direction and Liselle looked away.

"What is it?" she asked quietly.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Liselle asked.

"Yes." Lauren picked up her shot glass. "Ready?"

Liselle nodded. "You're going down."

"In your dreams." Lauren took the first shot.

Liselle followed suit. They took turns taking shots while Derimus and one of Liselle's friends watched. They were all relaxing in the VIP lounge. Derimus had suggested this game be between Lauren and himself, until Liselle challenged Lauren. When Liselle downed her twentieth shot she realized she was having trouble focusing through the haze of alcohol. Lauren had taken her hair down, which was rather long, and was smiling happily at Liselle.

"You give up?" Lauren asked.

Liselle blinked. She couldn't handle brandy, especially the strong stuff. "I give up."

Lauren looked triumphant. "I told you I would win. I was in the Alliance and we don't drink about our kidding." She suddenly frowned.

Derimus started laughing and Liselle's friend followed suit. Liselle giggled, unable to stop herself.

"We don't kid about our drinking," Lauren said slowly.

Derimus shook his head. "I think we've all had enough," He fiddled with his omni-tool. "Besides I got to be up in seven hours for my shift."

"I have to be at work in twelve," Liselle's friend said. "Come on Liselle, I'll get you home."

Liselle nodded and stood up. She held out her hand to Lauren. Lauren looked up at her questioningly before she shook Liselle's hand. "G'night Liselle. Be safe getting home."

"You too, Blue." Liselle said as her friend led her away towards the door.

Derimus looked at Lauren. "You need a walk home?"

Lauren shook her head. "Nah, I can walk. It's not that far from here. You go on home."

Derimus stood up from the bar. "Alright, be safe. Don't get shot."

"I won't get shot. Besides I have my biotics."


	21. Chapter 21

Lauren awoke with a pounding sensation in her head. She groaned and rolled over in her bed, burying her face as far as she could into the sheets. Every noise and movement assaulted her senses. She opened her eye a milimeter and reached for her omni-tool on her bedside shelf. When her fingers bumped into the small metal device, she wrapped her fingers around it. She didn't want to roll over. She didn't want to check her messages. She didn't want to call her father today. But she had to. She was going to be fighting tomorrow and Aria even warned her that the mercenaries would attack all over the station before they made it to Afterlife. She would be fighting for her life tomorrow.

Lauren counted to three and rolled over, simultaneously activating her omni-tool at the same time. She pulled up her messages and scrolled through them all. There was one from Liselle, telling her to meet her at her apartment. She had a gift for her courtesy of her mother. There was one from Anto detailing the amount of mercenaries that had just arrived on board the station and how the numbers stood on both sides for tomorrow. He explained that something had to be done to wittle down their forces before they went to attack Afterlife. He suggested a few things, but told her the decision was basically up to her. The next one was from Derimus, telling her that Afterlife was closed tomorrow. She kept scrolling and found one from a sender she didn't know.

_To: Lauren Hackett_

_From: Unknown_

_About: Please Read This_

_Dear Ms. Hackett, _

_This Dr. Karin Chakwas, aboard the SSV Normandy. Recently Commander Shepard has landed on a system where she discovered a former Corporal Toombs, a survivor of Akuze. She has asked me to inform you of this and to assure you that Toombs is alive and somewhat well - but has information about Akuze. He is being taken to an Alliance hospital on Earth, where he is to be treated for post traumatic stress disorder. Shepard has asked me to also include the address of the hospital, as well as the ship's medical doctor that is transporting him there so you may get a hold of him._

_Attatchment_

Lauren sat bolt upright, her mind reeling. Had she read that right? She reread it, tripping over some of the words. Shepard had found Toombs. Toombs. She remembered him, the happy and optimistic marine that was always around his buddies in their off hours. He was always trying to make people feel better. She downloaded the attatchment, which included Toomb's personal address. She hesitated. Was it a good idea to send him a message first? She bit her lip, thinking. _He is to be treated for post traumatic stress disorder. _The words ripped at her heart. She felt bad for him and then she felt angry at the same time. He remembered Akuze and she didn't. But all of her wanted to hear his voice - to be sure that he was in fact alive. _So I know I'm not alone,_ the thought surfaced at the back of her head.

For years she thought she was alone in her suffering. But against all the odds, Toombs had survived. But Akuze had been years ago. Where had he been? She began to think of everything that could prevent another survivor from being found. None of it was comforting.

She needed to call her father now - Shepard must have reported to him. She got up from her bed and walked to her terminal, hastily scrolling down until she found the information she was looking for. After a few agonizing seconds her father's face appeared on her screen, looking rather peaceful.

"You actually called," he remarked.

"Karin Chakwas told me Toombs is alive," she blurted out.

Her father blinked a few times. "I knew Deacon would talk Shepard into - Yes, Toombs is alive."

"Where has he been?" Lauren asked, pulling her chair closer to the desk so she could use it as support. "It's been years-"

"Lauren, I can't discuss an ongoing Alliance investigation-"

"Fuck protocols for a minute, Dad, and tell me what's going on." Lauren interupted him. "I want to know if something happened to him after Akuze."

Hackett blinked over the call and brought his hand up to his face. "He says that someone grabbed him. That memory of Akuze that you first had - it was of a group of people standing over someone? It confirmed the story he told Shepard."

"He was taken? By who?" Lauren leaned forward.

"A group called Cerberus," her father answered. "That's all I can tell you."

Lauren looked down at her left hand. "They didn't...do anything to him, did they?" she asked quietly.

"As far as we know, he was a science experiment to them."

Lauren closed her eyes, her already naseous stomach threatening her. "By the goddess...Toombs."

"He's going to get treatment for what happened to him," her father said.

Lauren opened her eyes and looked at her father's face. "I know he's with the Fifth Fleet. You must have talked to him or are able to."

Her father didn't blink. "What are you getting at?" he asked.

Lauren sat down in her chair. "Can you...tell him that I would like to talk to him? If that's alright with him - I don't want to make him worse or anything. I just...I have to make sure that this is actually happening." _To make sure it's not a dream,_ she added in her head.

Her father's face went from serious and peaceful to a sort of understanding expression. "I'll pass that along to him."

"Thank you," Lauren sighed. "I have to go now."

"Enjoy your hangover."

She snapped her eyes up to him, only to meet a slightly amused expression. He chuckled.

"Just because I'm an Admiral does not mean I haven't been spared from the sights of a hungover marine."

"So you don't run Fifth Fleet with an iron fist. Could have fooled me." Lauren quipped back.

"Even marines need to have fun," Her father said. "Be safe."

"You too, Admiral."

The call disconnected, leaving Lauren staring at an empty screen. She peeled herself from the chair and to her meditation pillow, where she practically collapsed into a sitting position. She peeled off her dirty shirt and sat in her tank top, looking at the statue. A prayer mulled over in her mind.

"_Let the universe hear my cries, so that the stars may be moved to reflect my sorrows..."_


	22. Chapter 22

Liselle waited patiently at her apartment, shuffling through movies she could watch after Lauren picked up her gift. Her mother had suggest it to Liselle when she met her for breakfast, and Liselle had thought it was a great idea. Liselle had her own momento from when she joined Aria's organization, a bracelet with Omega's symbol etched on it. Anto had his favorite gun with the same symbol. And then Aria had it on the back of her coat. Liselle had known Lauren for quite a while, and knew that the human would love what she had gotten her.

Liselle had paid for it herself after it been made and then took a few minutes to wrap it neatly. It now sat on her coffee table, where it would stay until Lauren arrived to pick it up and join Liselle for a chat. A knock at her apartment door forced her to surrender the comfort of her couch. She opened it, revealing a rather unkempt looking Lauren. Liselle blinked.

"Did something happen?" Liselle asked.

"Yeah. It's called I woke up." Lauren shifted her weight to her right foot.

Liselle moved out of the doorway, motioning for Lauren to come inside. Normally Lauren didn't look so unkempt - she usually kept her appearance together. Her hair was down and was hanging loosely around her face and she was wearing a very baggy thin coat. But she was wearing heeled boots and what appeared to be tight leggings. She walked in and sat down promptly on Liselle's couch.

"Hungover," Lauren said quietly. "I don't give a damn about my appearance right now. You're the only person I'm seeing today, so I just threw something on and walked up here."

"Ah," Liselle picked up the box from her coffee table. "Here - this is what I mentioned. Mother thought it would be a good idea."

Lauren took the box gently and unwrapped it. She pulled the lid off it and pulled the paper lining back - to reveal a dark black fabric.

"I noticed you like to wear black, despite your nickname is Blue." Liselle explained. "And you always wear that thin, ratty looking coat. So I went and got you a new one. It has Omega's symbol on it. Try it on."

Lauren set the box down next to her and leaned forward to unzip her coat, which she put on her other side. Liselle admired the outfit she was wearing underneath. It was a backless halter top that seemed to close around her neck. But it reminded her of the dancer outfits - only because it opened in front in several places. It was a sensual outfit, Liselle concluded, something that a woman would wear to show off her skin. That's when she noticed the tattoo.

It reminded her of asari cloth at first, until she looked closer. She could see different patterns inside the original pattern, something undiscernable to her, but she could tell by the way it was centered that it meant something to Lauren. It was very bold ink, made up of thick black lines with more delicate blue ones.

"Nice tattoo," Liselle finally commented.

Lauren looked at her from the coat that she was holding. "Thank you. Just got it actually, it's finally healed over."

"What is that in the middle? The blue and white shapes, if you don't mind me asking."

"Of course not," Lauren set the coat down and picked up the new one from its box. "It's the insignia of the unit that was killed on Akuze. Below it is the star constellation for the system it's in."

"Thats a lot of memories, isn't it?" Liselle asked.

"No, no its not." Lauren said tensely. She unfolded the new coat and pulled it on. It was similar to Aria's, but much longer. It was like a trenchcoat that went down to about her hips. It was loose when she put it on. When Lauren zipped it up she noticed that it hugged her upper half of her body, but hung loosely at her waist and hips. It was meant to accentuate the fact that she had a thin waist and large breasts, but it wasn't meant to expose. On the left shoulder was the insignia for Omega, done in blue.

"It's beautiful." Lauren said quietly.

"And it's big enough that you can hide your pistol in it," Liselle stated matter-of-factly.

Lauren unzipped it and sat down, collecting the box and her coat. She pulled out her pistol from the depths of the ratty fabric of her unused coat and holstered it at her waist before zipping the coat back up. "Not bad," she said.

"It means you're with us." Liselle leaned back in her spot on the couch.

"Working as Aria's Enforcer," Lauren looked relaxed. "It sounds better than it actually is, isn't it?"

Liselle shrugged. "Just do what you're told and don't piss her off. It's what Anto and I have done."

"Right," Lauren rolled her head to the side and looked at Liselle. "No promises about that though. I tend to piss off people more when I'm trying not to piss them off."

Liselle raised an eyebrow. "Like who?"

"My superior officers, the defense council, my mother, my father, Deacon, Shepard..." Lauren stopped after Shepard.

"What happened between you and Shepard?" Liselle asked, bringing the human's attention back to her. "I read the files we found - it said some sort of fight happened between the two of you?"

"You could say that," Lauren said slowly. She looked away again and bit her lip.

"It might help to talk about it," Liselle offered.

There was about a minute of silence before Lauren rolled her head to look at Liselle again. She sighed. "Alright. But don't blame me if it gets too depressing for you."


	23. Chapter 23

_You have to understand...only two people know this story. One of them is Shepard, because she was involved, and the other was Deacon. My own father and my mother, rest her soul, never heard this. All they heard is that we got into an arguement and Shepard dragged me back to the hospital. That's not exactly correct._

_I had signed myself out of the hospital that day to go home, where my mother was going to help me settle into a civilian life. I wasn't planning on staying and being a civilian, I planned on going to Akuze on the next available shuttle, despite what my mother told me. I had to see the place. When I left the hospital, I didn't go home. _

_Shepard apparently went there looking for me, and my mother explained that I wasn't at home. In fact, she told her, I hadn't come home at all. She told Shepard that she expected me to go for Akuze immediately - mother's intuition at work. Shepard apparently got upset and said that my mother should be keeping me at home to keep me from doing something stupid. She decided to come after me. _

_I never even got to the shuttle. Shepard found me in the back alleys on the way there. I was still healing, so I was limping and making a lot of noise..._

* * *

"Hackett!" Shepard barked.

Lauren snapped her head up and narrowed her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to take you home - so you can rest." Shepard walked down the alley towards Lauren.

"I'm not going home," Lauren straightened up as best as she could.

Shepard's eyes flashed in the dark light of the alley. "That's not up for discussion. I'm taking you home, whether you like it or not."

Lauren clenched her right arm together, her left still in a sling. "And I said I'm not going home."

Shepard looked at the clenched fist. "You can't fight me, you can barely walk. If you go there you're going to hurt yourself -"

"I'm already hurt. What's the harm of a few new scratches or a laceration?"

Shepard looked back up at her face. "You're not going to get better going on like this. You need to go home. You need help."

"I don't need any help," Lauren said through gritted teeth. "Especially the doctors-"

"The doctors can fix you-"

"So I'm broken?" Lauren spat out bitterly. "Do you want me fixed, Aeron?"

Shepard narrowed her eyes. "I want you to get better-"

"You want me to go back to the way I was!" Lauren shouted. "You don't want me anymore better than the brass does-"

"Everyone is trying to do what's best for you-"

"Have you considered the fact that they aren't making anything better?" Lauren asked bitterly.

Shepard took a step towards her.

"Don't you dare get any closer to me."

"What are you doing to do?" Shepard asked.

"The same thing I always do - kick your ass. You've never won a fight against me Aeron."

"I'm taking you home."

"Fucking try it - I dare you. I'm getting on that shuttle, Aeron."

"Why are you being so fucking stubborn? You need medical treatment-"

"That's not treatment I'm getting back there!"

"They fixed your arm, didn't they?"

"But they didn't fix my brain!" Lauren shouted.

Shepard went still, her eyes unreadable.

"I can't remember, Aeron. That's why I need to go back. I can't get better if I don't know what happened. Now move."

"You read the reports, that's all you need."

"No, that's all YOU need. You and the fucking Alliance. I need to see it, I need to remember it. Not rot in a hospital bed. Move you stupid-"

"So I'm the one being stupid?" Shepard asked. "You're the one whose trying to board a shuttle when you're so wounded you can't even walk straight!"

"Move, Aeron."

"No Lauren. I'm not moving."

"Why are you being so fucking stubborn about this? Just move!"

"I'm not moving!"

Lauren clenched her fist together. "God damn it - why are you trying so hard? You can't save me Aeron. Take your paragon shit somewhere else where it matters-"

"You matter."

Lauren laughed bitterly.

"What's so funny?" Shepard asked.

"You're trying to save a dead woman." Lauren stated bluntly.

Shepard's face fell into a dark expression.

"Face it Aeron - I'm already dead. There's nothing to save here. Now if you don't move, I will kick your ass-"

"I'm not moving. You're not dead. I'd love to see you try."

"Have it your way."

* * *

_That was the first time that Shepard won a fight against me. But there was no one to remember this fight. There were no shouting marines, no superior officers betting against one of us. No adrenaline rush. There was only pain - the pain of loosing someone close to you. When she had knocked me to the ground for the final time, she looked heartbroken and angry. She told me that if I didn't want to be saved, then fine, she wouldn't try to save me. I told her that was fine by me - I called her Shepard. It was the first time I had done that since the first day of training in the N7 program._

_We raged at each other during that fight, insulted each other. Our friendship was gone. Aeron was gone - replaced by a paragon that foolishly believed that she could save everyone. I was gone. I'd been replaced by someone that was realistic - someone who knew that everyone died at some point. There was no getting around it anymore. We were strangers to each other. The insults, those stung deeper then the blows we delivered. _

_Shepard would never trust me again after that point. She didn't speak to me, acknowledge me, or be around me. She ignored me - like it was that easy to do. I passed out after that fight was over. Shepard apparently took me to the hospital - where she told Deacon what happened. Deacon asked her why she had brought me back after everything I'd said to her. Shepard only replied with a short bitter sentence. _

_"I didn't want to."_


	24. Chapter 24

Liselle knew why Lauren had left the Alliance. The reminders of her slain unit and her mother's death hadn't been it. It had been Shepard destroying her trust and loosing her temper on her - Lauren had trusted Shepard enough to think that the woman would let her go. But she didn't. Instead Shepard had taken their friendship and destroyed it. Lauren had asked for a fight, but didn't think Shepard would fight her. And Shepard had foolishly thought that she could save Lauren and turn her back into the friend she once had. They were both wrong in the fight and both should have apologized to each other, but Liselle could feel it in her heart that neither one of them would apologize until they were surely on their deathbeds.

Their relationship couldn't be repaired and so both of them went their seperate ways. Shepard buried herself into her work and became one of the most highly respected officers in the Alliance. She saved everyone she could, possibly because she was trying to tell herself that she could save everyone, if she tried hard enough. Lauren had apparently went home to her mother to try to recover on her own terms, to take control of what little she could take control of. But the universe had other things planned for her and her mother died heroically. Lauren repented on her actions from what Liselle was told, and invited Shepard to her mother's funeral. But Shepard was not there. Lauren must have felt betrayed again and spiraled into depression. She left to Thessia, where she seemed to find peace.

But Liselle knew her. She knew that Lauren found no peace in silence. She found peace in work, violence, and the rush that came from defeating an enemy - that's why she chose Omega. Most people would have died by now with this kind of behavior, Liselle thought quietly. But Lauren hadn't. She was what Aria thought - dangerous, deadly, and powerful. Liselle didn't doubt that anymore.

Lauren had left after the story had ended, leaving Liselle to her movie and relaxation. Where she had gone, Liselle didn't know. "She has a job tomorrow. She won't mess it up."

* * *

_After I told Liselle about what happened, I felt better. But it wasn't a huge change, it was just something small. Like my mind had cleared up a bit. I felt the familiar itching at my skin and pulled up the information Anto gave me. I had four things to do that would help with the battle tomorrow. I wanted to do something - anything. This fit the bill, so I started my work._

_The first was dealing with the shops on the lower levels. After explaining that Aria didn't want them selling weapons to any mercenaries with the threat of my pistol in their faces, they agreed to stop selling weapons for today and tomorrow and closed up. The second and third were dealing with people selling weapon mods and armor. I threatened the release of some steamy information to the men's families and they agreed to close up shop. The last was taking out a few random patrols. They were easy to find and quick to kill. It took six hours of my time to get everything done and when it was, I found a message on my omni-tool. It was from Deacon. He wanted to talk to me._

* * *

Lauren sat down at her terminal at her desk and waited for it to connect to Deacon. She pulled off her coat and set it down on the far corner of her desk.

"You look cheerful." Deacon's voice made her look up.

"Relaxed. There's a subtle difference." He was in an open space, with people chattering in the background. "Where are you?"

"Aboard the SSV Normandy. Shepard's ship." Deacon leaned back away from the camera. "I'm calling from my omni-tool."

"You can do that?" Lauren asked. "I need a terminal to do that here."

"Shepard gave me an upgrade. Plus we're hooked up to a comm bouy. Thought I'd give you a call." Someone moved in behind Deacon on the camera.

"Who are you talking to?" the person asked.

Deacon looked over his shoulder. "Oh, hey Kaidan. To a friend of mine."

A man came into view over Deacon's shoulder. Lauren shifted uncomfortably and gave a small half-hearted wave. He backed out of view.

"She looks nice."

"Trust me she's not nice - think of her as the exact oppisote as Shepard."

"Hey! I resent that!" Lauren frowned at Deacon.

Deacon laughed. "Alright - anyways. I called to check up on you."

"I'm alive," Lauren stifled a yawn. "And rather tired."

"Aria been working you to the bone?" Deacon asked.

Lauren shook her head. "Nah, some stupid mercenaries. They're trying to make a move for the station. It's basically a civil war here."

Deacon looked concerned. "You need any help?"

"Nope," Lauren smiled at him. "Got it all under control here. Why else are you calling?"

"Chakwas told me that she sent a message to you about Toombs. I wanted to call and make sure that you got it."

Lauren's smile practically evaporated. "Yeah, I got it. I made a call to my father - Admiral Hackett. He said he'd tell Toombs that I'd like to speak to him. If he ever wanted to. And that, you know, I'm here if he needs me."

"Good," Deacon looked relieved. "That's good."

Lauren bit her lip. "How's the ship?"

"It's brillant," he sounded happy. "I get to work in engineering with a rather bright young quarian named Tali. She's on some sort of pilgrimage - its a cultural thing. Shepard agreed to take her on board."

"Wow, aliens?" Lauren was surprised. "Didn't think the Alliance would allow it."

"They don't. This is a Council ship - it's allowed if Shepard allows it. We've got more aliens on board."

"Please tell me theres no crazy vorcha on board - or I might just hang up on you."

Deacon had a knowing smile. "Nope - just a krogan, asari, turian, and a quarian."

"Goddess," Lauren brought a hand up to her face. "That must be interesting."

"You're not talking about us are you, Commander?" a woman's voice.

Deacon looked up at someone sitting across from him. "Just telling my friend who I'm working with." He fiddled with his tool and suddenly Lauren could see a group of people sitting across from her. "Tali'Zora nar Rhayya and Garrus Vakarian."

Lauren looked at her omni-tool. "Having fun?" she asked Deacon.

The camera focused back on Deacon. "You know Shepard - its oodles of fun. Running into explosions and gunfire. Geth too."

Lauren winced. "Creepy metallic bastards. Lovely. Well you have fun. I'm going to go back to meditating and then take a long nap."

Deacon shook his head. "You still meditate? Alright - be careful with your civil war."

"You be careful too," Lauren replied dryly. "You're not on vacation. Do make sure she doesn't die."

"Didn't know you cared," he replied sarcastically.

Lauren's smile was feral. "Oh I don't. I just want her to live so I can kill her myself. Be careful."

"Bye Lauren," Deacon disappeared from view.

Lauren shoved herself away from the terminal and walked to her meditation pillow. She began reciting another prayer she knew. "_I exist as a part of the universe, my energy is it's energy. I have but to reach out and run my hand across the strings that bind us together -_"


	25. Chapter 25

The streets were empty. Garm walked with his shotgun in his hands, his men behind him. He turned on his radio. "Report," he barked.

"Nothing so far," Jaroth said in his ear. "I haven't seen anyone yet - but two of my patrols have gone dark."

"I've lost one," Tarak's rough voice grazed Garm's ears. "And I haven't seen anyone yet either. Apartments are locked up tight here."

"Do you think that Aria figured it out?"

"The Shadow Broker agents assured us that she wouldn't find out," Garm snarled.

"Then why is Omega empty?" Jaroth asked.

* * *

Aria sat at her computer terminal in her apartment, her fingers tapping on the sleek surface of her desk. She was watching survellience videos of Omega that Anto had placed around Afterlife in the streets that Lauren had predicted the mercenaries would use. Garm was the closest, with the Eclipse being not too far behind, and then the Blue suns bringing up the rear. Her plan would work. They would never try to take Omega again after Lauren ordered the execution. Everyone would assume she was behind it - cementing her reputation on Omega. With Aria's, Anto's and Lauren's deadly reputations for deadly show of force - Aria was certain they wouldn't try this again. She frowned. Anto's reputation was tarnished, but Lauren's would be shining.

She could imagine it. Have you heard about Aria's Enforcer? The small human, yeah. She used to be in the Alliance and she's just as crazy and heartless as she is dangerous. She throws people around like ragdolls. Aria smiled to herself. Don't fuck with Aria was becoming something she was rather fond of hearing now. Anto echoed the words to the agents before they all took up their places.

Garm and the other leaders would go inside - Lauren would give a heartless speech about how wrong they've been and the prisoners would be executed - then they would come out of Afterlife to find that they were completely surrounded by Aria's men. Their mercenaries would be out numbered and have the disadvantage when it came to firepower. It just all depended on the timing. Lauren fell in the center of that plan. If this worked, she'd be Lauren Hackett, Aria's Enforcer. Blue the mercenary would basically be replaced. And Aria would have a pawn worthy of keeping around. All that mattered was how she carefully she executed this...

* * *

They knew something was off. The Shadow Broker agents weren't in front of Afterlife like they had said they would be. Garm's second wasn't with them. There was no one to be found in the streets or in front of the club. Afterlife itself was quiet, its lights flashing without the normal accompaniment of blaring music. Garm watched as Jaroth and Tarak argued about how to continue.

"Salarians," Garm mumbled. He charged forward, his shotgun in his hands. "I'll finish this myself!"

Jaroth and Tarak took after the krogan, bringing with them some of their guards. "Damn krogan," Jaroth cursed.

"I hear ya," Tarak grumbled.

They found the krogan standing past the second door into Afterlife, which opened into the main floor of the rather large club. He was standing there, cursing under his breath about something.

"Barrier field," Garm informed them as they approached.

Jaroth narrowed his eyes at the field. "Why have we never heard about this before?"

"It's new," a voice said, drawing their attention past the barrier.

"What the hell..?"

The voice belonged to a human.

"Who are you?" Garm demanded.

The human stepped forward, the light from Afterlife making it easier to see her. She was dressed similar to that of Aria's men, but Garm had no idea who she was. She wore a dark black coat and was holding a pistol loosely at her side. And she looked pissed as hell.

"I'm Aria's Enforcer," the woman said coldly. "And you're trespassing."

"Aria doesn't have an Enforcer," Jaroth narrowed his eyes.

The woman walked up to the barrier. Her eyes were a fiery blue, Garm noted. They reminded him of the dangerous bitch he wanted to kill - Aria.

"Aria has a message for all of you," the human pulled her pistol up. "Bring them out," she called over her shoulder.

The lights of Afterlife suddenly came on, lighting up the area behind her. Garm's face fell when he noticed that they had his second - his nephew - and the two Shadow Broker agents sitting on their knees with guns pressed to the backs of their heads. Tarak and Jaroth had gone silent, apparently recognizing the batarian and salarian that were there too. The human narrowed her eyes.

"What does Aria want?" Tarak asked tensely.

The human's smile was practically feral. "She doesn't want anything. This isn't a trade gentlemen-" None of them liked where she was going with this.

"-This is your punishment for disobeying the rule of Omega."

* * *

**_Sorry about the rapid amounts of updates - but its going to be rather slow for the next few weeks and I needed to get the chapters out before I left for vacation. The plot will start making sense when I get back! Bye!_**


	26. Chapter 26

She walked away from them, checking her pistol as she walked to Garm's second-in-command. They could see they were gagged and bound - most of them cowering in fear - knowing that they were to be dead in a few moments. She pressed the pistol to the back of the first asari's head.

"We can talk about this-" Tarak leaned forward, staring at the batarian prisoner with panic in his eyes.

The human looked at him. "Weak, arrogant fool. You have no say in this. You broke the one rule on Omega and now you're brother is going to pay with his life for it." Her face went cold, impassive, emotionless. "Pay attention, because I'm only going to say this once."

They looked at her.

"Don't fuck with Aria." she said coldly. "Or the next ones here will be you. And I can guarantee that." She pressed the pistol harder into the asari's head. "This is your only warning - Aria's only warning - don't ever try any of this bullshit again. Understand?"

A quiet silence fell before the human pulled the trigger. Garm only heard one shot, but five bodies fell to the floor, staining it with their blood. When the bodies finally stopped moving, the silence did too.

"I'm glad we understand each other," the human said calmly. "Now leave."

"You fucking bitch-" Tarak snarled.

"I am Lauren Hackett," the human said coldly. "Leave or we'll slaughter your men too."

Garm snapped his head up. "What have-"

"Aria's men have surrounded Afterlife," Lauren said coldly. "If I give the command your forces are slaughtered and so are you. Leave."

"I'll get my revenge for this bitch," Tarak snarled.

"Try it four-eyes and Aria will wipe the Blue Suns from the station completely. Eclipse and Blood Pack aren't safe from her wrath either. You've been warned. Go." Lauren commanded firmly. She pulled a rag from the depths of her jacket and began to wipe the blood from her gun. She didn't watch them leave. Instead she looked up at the survellience camera nearby and stared at it.

* * *

Aria leaned back in her terminal. The mercenaries had been taken care of. They'd all retreated to the depths of Omega and Afterlife had been cleaned up. In a few hours the club would be open again and would be packed with people. Her agents would gossip over drinks they'd earned today and she wouldn't have to worry about them for a long time. Lauren had done better than Aria had expected her too. Her every action oozed confidence and coldness - the mercenaries wouldn't dare fuck with her either. She'd repeated Aria's every word from the communicator in her ear. None of it had been her own words, except the end. Omega was safe, for the time being. The Shadow Broker would try again - he always did - but he'd fail. Aria would make sure of it.

She stood up from her desk and crossed her apartment to pick up her sidearm. She needed to go back to Afterlife now. She looked to Anto, who stood near the door.

"What is it Anto?" she asked him, unsurprised by his appearance.

Anto didn't say anything but narrowed his eyes. His earlier question still hung in the air. _She is your decision?_

"Are you doubting my decision?" Aria asked.

"Of course not."

"Then I fail to see why you're here. But since you are, I could use an escort to Afterlife."

* * *

Lauren relaxed in Aria's lounge, thankful for the peacefulness of the empty club. Adrenaline still coursed through her veins, but she was attempting to fix that. _Slow deep breaths,_ she reminded herself. She had been absolutely terrified before they arrived. But everything had turned out alright, like Aria had said it would, and she was alive to see another day. She hadn't watched as the guards hauled the dead bodies away. Her stomach was knotted while her mind raced - hearing the telltale sound of someone walking in heels - she opened her eyes.

Aria stood at the bottom of the stairs with a glass in one hand and a datapad held loosely in the other. She looked skeptically at Lauren.

Lauren raised an eyebrow back. "Is that for me?"

Aria glanced at her glass. "Does this look like its yours?" she retorted.

Lauren slid down the couch, getting out of the asari's way. "I'll just go get my own then."

Aria held the datapad out to her before she could leave. "Read this."

"What is it?" Lauren asked, taking the datapad. Her question was answered as she read the first line. It was an intercepted message to the Shadow Broker.

_Aria's Enforcer was waiting for us at Afterlife. She had hostages and she executed them on the spot. There's no way that Omega can be taken over. Not as long as that Enforcer is there. _

The response was short.

_That's unfortunate to hear._

Lauren looked up at Aria. "He's not very talkative, is he?" She threw the datapad on the couch nearby the asari.

"You look pale," Aria commented, mildly amused.

Lauren stared at the asari's eyes before looking away. "I'm going to get a drink."

Aria looked at her drink before watching the human's back disappear as she headed downstairs.

"Your decision," Anto commented from the other stairwell. "Looks like she's going to faint, vomit or both."

"Shut up, Anto," Aria snapped.


	27. Chapter 27

_When I pulled the trigger and killed the hostage in front of me, I had a fleeting memory. Fleeting - but it still unnerved me. At that point, in hindsight, I should have probably gone to the Citadel. I should have left. I shouldn't have stayed and remembered what had happened to me. __I should have left my memories of Akuze alone. But I didn't._

* * *

Lauren walked into the back of the bar, behind the counter. Derimus, hearing someone, stood up from where he was crouched. He noticed Blue and abandoned re-arranging the boxes underneath the counter. She noticed him and blinked a few times before pointing to a bottle of brandy she'd picked up from the shelf. He nodded, knowing that she was silently asking if she could have it. She looked relieved and then went about the process of opening the bottle. He was no more than a foot away from her when she poured herself a glass of it.

"Heard what you did today," Derimus said casually.

"Don't want to talk about it," Lauren mumbled, focused on her drink.

"You're not Blue anymore," he looked at her, shifting his mandibles.

"I'm going to make it my middle-name. Lauren Blue Hackett sounds better than just Lauren Hackett." She picked up her glass and drained it in a few seconds.

Derimus blinked. "What's eating you?"

Lauren glanced at him before answering. "A memory."

"A memory of what? I've never seen you so shaken before-"

"Just drop it please." She brought her hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose. "You might want to finish bringing those boxes in while the guards are still around."

Derimus decided it wasn't worth getting into an arguement with her about whether or not she seemed shaken. He let it drop and went back to his work. She left a few minutes later, headed back for Aria's lounge, a glass of brandy in hand. He wrote it down under her tab on his omni-tool and went to work re-stocking the shelves. He didn't look up until the first waves of patrons entered the bar, when his shift started.

* * *

Lauren had her eyes closed and her head tilted back, ignoring the sounds of Aria's guards partying inside the lounge. The asari matriarch was deep into reading a datapad and had either not noticed the men celebrating their victory tonight or was just ignoring it. Lauren took a deep breath, trying to remember what the memory was. It was so sudden, right when she pulled the trigger, it was painful...

_The liquid was blue and thick as it hissed against her armor. Pain covered her entire shoulder and arm as she kept walking, trying to ignore it. It forced her to her knees and forced her to look down. She held back a scream as she noticed that most of her arm was gone._

She shook her head, trying to get rid of the image of her arm bloody and covered in sand. She knew that she had lost her arm, that she was alright with. But the pain...She didn't remember the pain. _Or I don't want to,_ she thought numbly. _Do I really want this? _ Her thoughts raced. _What if every memory after this is more painful?_ She picked up her right hand and massaged her left forearm with it. She opened one eye and glanced at the the limb. It looked normal. Like any other human's arm. She flexed her fingers, watching as her hand moved. It moved like a normal arm. But it wasn't normal. **_It was a replacement for one she'd already lost._**

"Something wrong?" Aria's voice snapped her back to reality.

She looked at the asari, who was still reading her datapad. "No."

Aria glanced up at her. "Liar."

Lauren frowned. Why was the asari treating her like this today? Usually she was just a subordinate but today...it was like she was a friend. "Nothing's wrong."

"Then why are you staring at your arm like it holds the secrets of the universe?" Aria looked up and watched as Liselle entered the lounge, taking a seat on Aria's other side. "Hello Liselle."

"Mother," the younger asari greeted her with a respectful dip of the head.

Lauren frowned. "It doesn't."

Aria looked at her, her face somewhat skeptical. "Then why are you staring at it?"

"Because," Lauren looked at her arm. "I was thinking about it."

"Thinking about your arm?" Liselle asked, somewhat confused. "What?"

Aria shook her head at Liselle. "It's nothing important."

As soon as the words left Aria's lips, Lauren found that her body had frozen. She closed her eyes.

_"It's nothing important," She reminded herself, looking away from her arm. "It can be fixed."_

_She had to keep moving. She had to keep going. It hurt to move. But she had to. If she stopped now, those things - Thresher Maws - would find her. She had to keep moving. Her left side was burning and stung everytime she moved. She could smell the blood, and didn't want to look at it. She didn't have the stomach to look at it now. She needed to keep going. And if her legs stopped working, she'd fucking crawl the whole way to the outpost..._

"Lauren?" Liselle's voice snapped her back into reality. The young asari was a foot away from her face and her hand was on Lauren's shoulder. "Are you alright? You just stopped talking for a minute there."

"Huh?" Lauren asked. Her mouth was dry.

"I asked if you were doing alright," Liselle sounded concerned. "Do you need a doctor or something?"

Lauren shook her head. "I just need some sleep."

She noticed that Aria was staring at her skeptically, but ignored it.

"Alright," Liselle stood up and moved away from her. "If you say so."


	28. Chapter 28

Deacon sat across from Shepard in the mess hall, a cup of coffee in his hands. She was staring at him, one eyebrow elevated on her face.

"Omega?" she asked him, uncertain if she heard him correctly.

He nodded. "And you're never going to believe it - she's remembering things. It's small, but she's on good track according to her dad. It won't be long until she remembers all of it - hopefully."

"She was right?" Shepard asked.

Deacon nodded and watched as Shepard brought her thumb up to her mouth. The hero of humanity had a tendancy to chew on her thumb when she was thinking. It was like the way Lauren bit at her lip or how Deacon's fingers twitched. All of them had tells. Shepard's were just more obvious. Deacon pretended not to know what was going on in the woman's head, but he could see it. She was thinking about whether or not she was wrong and whether or not she should apologize.

"What should I do?" She asked finally, succumbing to the fact that she had no idea what she should do.

Deacon brought his coffee cup up to his lips. "Let it be for now. She's busy. You're busy. When you get the chance, send her a message. Say what you should have said instead of what you did say. But for now, Commander, you should be focusing on your mission." He tapped her datapd, which was lying untouched on the mess hall table.

Shepard looked at it and frowned. "I really don't feel like going into the verge after the geth."

"And I don't feel like getting my ass blown up because my commanding officer didn't study. Read it." Deacon shoved the datapad towards her. "I'm going to get more coffee and then make a call. Since we're at a comm bouy."

Shepard picked up the datapad with an expression of extreme distrust. "Join the Alliance, they said. It will be easy, they said. You get to shoot things, they said." She turned it on. "Never a word about paperwork."

Deacon rolled his eyes and turned on his omni-tool.

* * *

The omni-tool chime brought Lauren back to reality. She opened her eyes and peeled herself off the floor of her apartment. Upon sitting up she turned on her omni-tool, blinking at the harsh orange glare of the screen. She had a lot of messages she hadn't read in the last seven hours. Most of them were updates about the happenings on Omega from various sources like Liselle, Anto or Gavorn. She clicked on the newest one and squinted. Deacon wanted to know if she could chat for a bit.

"Why the fuck not," she pulled herself to her terminal.

When the call connected and she saw Deacon's happy face, she inwardly cringed. _This may have been a bad idea._

"Well don't you look peachy," he said loudly.

Lauren flinched, her migraine and nausea returning with a vengenance. "Keep your voice down." she mumbled.

He looked concerned. "You don't sound like you're doing well."

"I'm not," Lauren ran a hand through her hair.

"Rough day?"

"You have no idea." Her stomach was churning.

"How'd the war go?" He always knew when to change subjects.

"We won," Lauren brought her knees to her chest in her chair. "For now." Her stomach was threatening her now.

Deacon narrowed his eyes for a split second. "Why do you look like you're about to be sick?"

Lauren closed her eyes. "Don't say it."

He blinked, obviously oblivious to what she was trying to tell him. "I'm just saying you look like you're about to puke-"

Lauren felt her stomach spasm and quickly got up and went into her small bathroom. When she was done puking she wiped her face on a towel and returned to her seat.

"You alright?" Deacon looked hellishly concerned now, like a parent fretting over their child.

Lauren shook her head. "It's nothing. I'm okay."

"You've never puked before. What happened? Are you sick?"

She shook her head. "It's nothing."

A new voice, familiar to Lauren, suddenly spoke in the background. "What's going on?"

Deacon looked over the screen of the omni-tool. "Nothing, go back to your datapad."

Lauren frowned. "Is that...Shepard?" _Goddess please let that be a no. Anyone but Shepard. I don't want to deal with that._

Deacon made a face. It was a face that he only used when he was conflicted about telling someone something. "It's Shepard."

Lauren stared at him from her terminal. He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze.

"Don't stare at me like that."

"Why are you calling me within earshot of _her_?" Lauren retorted.

"To see if you were okay. The last time I called you, you had that look about you as if you were going to do something stupid. Don't change the subject. Are you sick?" Deacon asked.

"No."

"You aren't...pregnant are you?" He asked cautiously.

"No!" Lauren made a face. "Goddess no!"

Deacon looked somewhat relieved for a second. "Then why are you puking?"

Lauren pulled her knees up to her chest and curled into the fetal position on her chair. She knew he would never give up until he found out the truth. "I..remembered something bad today. That's all."

Deacon's face fell. "Oh."

"Yeah."

They stared at each other for a second.

"What was it about?" he asked quietly.

Lauren held up her left hand and stared at it. "My arm. It was about when I lost my arm."

Deacon looked at her with a mixture of pity and shock on his face. "No wonder you're puking."

Lauren looked away from the terminal screen. "I'll be okay."

"Are you sure?" He paused. "The memories may not get any better."

"I'll be fine. I should go. I have work to do." Lauren terminated the call before Deacon could respond to her. She didn't want to talk anymore. She knew that if she kept talking to him, he would remind her that she wanted this. She wanted to remember everything. But now...she wasn't sure. _Why is this so hard to think about?_


	29. Chapter 29

Liselle was worried. For the past two weeks the young asari noticed that Lauren was only ever at Aria's lounge. She wasn't at the VIP lounge or at the bar. Derimus wasn't seeing her as often anymore either. She knew the human well - even though they hadn't known each other for more than a few months - and considered her a close friend. She knew that her mother was keeping her busy, but not busy enough that she'd be missing. After another week of worrying about her, Liselle finally got the nerve to ask her mother where Lauren lived. Her mother, being her mother, told her to leave it alone.

"Why?" She asked the older asari. "She's obviously miserable."

"She has the right to be miserable in her own apartment."

"So you know where she lives."

Aria gave her daughter a flat stare. "Of course I do, but she has the right to be miserable if she wants to."

Liselle stared at her mother, using the only weapon in her arsenal. The piercing stare she inherited from her father. She watched Aria's face go from emotionless to irritated.

"For the love of the goddess," Aria shook her head. "She lives by the upper markets, apartment 6021."

"Thank you," Liselle stood up and hastily left, leaving her mother sitting in her lounge.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Aria looked at one of the nearby guards. "Make sure she doesn't get shot."

* * *

Lauren awoke to the sound of someone knocking on her door. The sound assaulted her ears, rousing her from the peaceful dreams of her teenage years. She rolled over and looked at the door from her bed. She wasn't expecting anyone.

"I know you're in there," Liselle's voice brought some relief. "Open the door."

Lauren sighed and stood up from her bed, grabbing a shirt from the floor. "I'm coming." She opened the door, revealing the rather irritated looking asari.

Liselle shouldered her way into Lauren's apartment, leaving the human standing at the door staring into the alleyway. "This place is filthy."

"Come right in," Lauren mumbled irritably. "It's not thats impolite or anything." She shut the door and locked it.

"One of my mother's lackeys is following me." Liselle turned and looked at Lauren.

"Is that why you decided to randomly come to my apartment?" Lauren walked to her bed and sat down on it.

Liselle looked around for somewhere to sit and decided to stand. "No. I came because Derimus and I haven't seen you lately."

Lauren rubbed at the back of her neck. "Sorry about that. Shit's been crazy lately-"

"I know," Liselle waved her hand. "She's kept you busy. That's still no reason to not say something to us."

"Aria's not the one who's bugging me," Lauren looked at the asari. "It's me."

Liselle looked confused. "What?"

"I'm having some...issues. They're not because of work. I don't really want to talk about it."

"Is it because of Shepard?" Liselle asked.

Lauren shook her head. "No."

"Is it..because of Akuze?"

Lauren looked up at Liselle. How did she possibly know about that...? "Did I tell you about that?"

Liselle shook her head. "Not entirely. Most of it I got from reports my mother dug up."

"That was private information." Lauren narrowed her eyes. "Not to mention classified."

Liselle shook her head. "Not to her."

"That doesn't matter," her voice was colder than she intended. "It was - is personal. She had no right."

Liselle looked at Lauren as if she were joking. "Do you think she cares? She's an information broker."

"To say the least," Lauren closed her eyes.

There was about a minute of quiet silence before Liselle spoke.

"You know that I consider you a friend... If you ever need to talk about anything, I'm here."

Lauren looked at her. She'd heard doctors, therapists, and alliance officers say the same sentence almost hundreds of times. But none of them had said it with the same tone that Liselle did. None of them were friends like her. Granted she hadn't known the young asari for that long, but she was a friend. None of them had actually wanted to listen to her. None of them had actually cared. But this...alien...did.

"You would..listen?"

Liselle nodded. "Of course."

Lauren looked at her feet. "If I told you...can you promise me something?"

"Of course."

Lauren looked at Liselle's blue eyes - reminding her of Aria's.

"Promise me that you won't treat me like a victim or a survivor."

Liselle nodded. "I promise."

"Do you know anything about PTSD induced amnesia?" Liselle shook her head. "It's when your mind makes you forget..."

* * *

Wow guys, thanks for the reviews! They make writing this story a lot more fun and interesting. XD


	30. Chapter 30

"That's...horrible." Liselle was shocked. "What are you going to do?"

Lauren shrugged. "There's not much I can do. I can either stay and remember it slowly and painfully - or I can leave. And never remember any more of it. I wish I could just remember all of it at once, but I don't think it's possible."

Liselle looked thoughtful for a second. "Well - hold on a second."

"It's not possible." Lauren looked at the younger asari. "I've tried everything."

"Have you - have you tried melding?" Liselle asked.

Lauren blinked. "The asari mind reading? No thanks."

Liselle looked somewhat irritated. "Why does everyone always say that? It's not fucking mind reading. Look, amongst my race, we use melding quite often. You can send thoughts and feelings to another person. My mother used it to comfort me when I used to wake up from nightmares."

"So?"

"The point is," Liselle held out a hand. "An experienced asari, like a matriarch, could probably reveal the memories using a melding."

Lauren raised an eyebrow. "That still involves _**reading my** **mind.** _No thanks."

"Then stay miserable." Liselle crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Lauren sighed and rubbed at her eyes. "Besides the fact that I don't want my mind read, where would we find an asari matriarch that could do something like that?"

"My mother probably could, if she wanted to." Liselle rubbed at her neck. "But that's a stretch all by itself. You might be better off just going back to Thessia."

"I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to be able to sleep at night again."

"Then I don't know what to tell you -"

A knock at the door interupted Liselle. It was rapid, hasty. Lauren stood up and motioned for Liselle to into the bathroom and wait there. The asari nodded and did as Lauren asked, ducking behind the partition that seperated the bathroom from the rest of the small apartment. Lauren grabbed her pistol and walked to the door, pointing it at head-level before she opened the door.

A turian stared at the barrel of the pistol. "Oh fuck-"

"Who are you?" Lauren took a step forward.

The turian put his hands up. "One of Aria's guards. She told me to follow Liselle - look there's a group of vorcha headed this way. About twenty of them, heavily armed. I need to get Liselle out of here."

Lauren looked over the turian's shoulder. "Are you sure?"

The turian nodded.

Lauren narrowed her eyes. "Liselle, do you know this one?" she called over her shoulder.

Liselle stuck her head out from behind the partition. "Yeah, that's my guard. He's fine."

"Then we need to leave," Lauren moved away from the door and let the turian inside. "How far behind you were they?"

"I don't know. I saw them coming and ran here," the guard gripped his assualt rifle.

Lauren walked over and shoved the end of the assault rifle towards the ground. "Don't get too excited."

"What do we do?" Liselle asked. "You live at the end of an alley."

Lauren looked at her pistol and then at the door. "Point. Only way out is the way we came in."

"We're going to have to fight our way out," the guard was right.

They would have to fight their way out if the vorcha were here for Liselle. Lauren looked at her pistol and then at the door again, trying in vain to come up with a plan. Several options came to mind, but none of them would work unless she was more heavily armed. And because she was sleep-deprived, she knew her biotics weren't going to help her in this situation. She brought up her omni-tool and typed a quick message to Aria, asking for more mercenaries to head in the direction of her apartment.

"We're going to have to hold out here," Lauren turned off her omni-tool. "If there are as many as you say, we have no choice but to wait for help. How they even found this place is beyond me - I usually make it my point to kill whoever follows me."

Liselle looked at the guard. "That was my fault, I was in a hurry to get here, I should have doubled around first before I got here. I'm sorry."

Lauren looked around her apartment. "There's not much cover except for the bathroom and closet." She walked to the locker where she kept her armor and pulled out her shield generator. "Liselle, put this on."

The asari took the shield generator and immediately stowed it inside her clothing. She was surrounded by the shield almost instantly. "Thanks."

"What about me?" the guard asked.

Lauren reloaded her pistol. "You and I get to play human-turian shield, buddy. Flip that table and put it by the door. Dump everything on it on my bed. Liselle, stay in the bathroom. You'll be safer there. I'm going outside to see-"

"Open up!" The voice came from behind the door. It sounded like it was hissing. Lauren only knew one race that sounded like that. Vorcha.

"What do you want?" Lauren walked to the door and took cover next to the door.

The guard flipped the table and Liselle vanished behind the bathroom partition.

"We want the bitch's daughter!" A krogan vioce.

"Fuck," the guard heard it too. "Krogan and vorcha?"

"Bloodpack," Lauren whispered and motioned for him to get down. She opened the door and waited.

She heard the distinct footsteps of a krogan coming down the alleyway towards the door. She motioned for the guard to throw her his assault rifle. He did so, accepting her pistol as she threw it at him. She reloaded the piece of crap and counted to three. When she came out of cover, the Krogan was well too far into the hallway to escape the bullets she fired from the assault rifle. His body dropped with a sickening thud. She ducked behind cover and tossed the rifle back to the guard, who tossed her pistol back.

"Nice shots."

"Alliance basic training. No matter who you are, you learn to use a fucking assault rifle," Lauren said as she shut the door. She could hear the vorcha taking cover around the apartment, hissing and making noise. "You okay back there Liselle?" she called over her shoulder.

"I'm fine." Liselle quipped back. "Your bathroom is a fucking mess by the way."

"Not the time, Liselle."

"Seriously," the asari called out of the bathroom. "When we're done with this, I'm finding you a cleaner apartment on another level. This is fucking disgusting."

The guard snickered, aiming his assault rifle at the door. Lauren rolled her eyes and got ready to open the door again. She had her hand on the button when Liselle pipped up again from the bathroom.

"Is that...Is that a bra hanging from your shower stall?"

"SHUT UP LISELLE."


	31. Chapter 31

Aria was sitting peacefully when she got the message on her omni-tool. She pulled it up, expecting a report from Anto about the lower levels, but instead saw something that almost made her choke on what she was drinking.

_Send mercs to my apartment, surrounded by enemies, Liselle is here with the guard. ASAP -LBH_

Aria dropped her drink and stood up, startling the occupants of her lounge. "Anto!"

The batarian appeared out of thin air from the left staircase. "Yeah?"

"Guards to Lauren's apartment now, tell them to move their asses. Liselle, Lauren and a guard are trapped inside." She didn't have to scream at him, he knew the priority that her daughter took over anything else.

The batarian nodded and put his hand up to his ear, barking orders into it. Aria didn't pay attention and instead looked out at the floor of Afterlife from her perch. She watched as guards scrambled towards the exit, their guns out. She wanted to go with them, but she knew it wouldn't be safe if she did so. She knew that Liselle could defend herself well - but not as well as the young asari thought. Lauren would do her best, and Aria knew that, but lately the human was so tired that she could barely stand in the lounge without leaning against anything. The mercenary queen had a bad feeling in her gut. She didn't know if it was about Liselle or Lauren, but the thought of one of them dying raced across her mind. _No_, she thought to herself, watching Anto disappear out Afterlife's inner door. _I have to stay positive. Anto will get there in time. He always does._

* * *

Lauren reloaded her pistol and pressed her head against her wall. So far she'd fired several blocks worths of shots, but none of them had hit their intended targets. They had the advantage of moving around and being able to use better cover. So far none of them had been hit, but Lauren was still concerned. Mostly because the guard who was with them was constantly dodging some very close calls everytime he came out from behind cover. Liselle had dodged a few bullets when the bathroom partition shattered, but Lauren was concerned that the asari had been cut by the glass and twisted metal. Lauren had been snagged by a passing bullet, which tore at her right shoulder. It wasn't bleeding enough to concern her, but she knew that the wound was going to have to get looked at when this was over. If they managed to escape being cornered. Her adrenaline-filled blood burned under her skin. She hated being cornered.

She leaned out of cover and fired off two shots, finally able to hit a vorcha in the head. But another moved in and took it's place, cutting Lauren's small victory short. "There's too many of them!" the guard called to her. "At this point we're going to get slaughtered!"

"Aria would have sent help by now!" Lauren called back. "Just stay down and keep shooting! They'll be here soon!"

* * *

Anto and his men rounded the corner into the alleyway that led to Lauren's apartment. A group of vorcha armed with rifles and flamethrowers were firing at the door at the end of the alleyway. They didn't even notice Anto or his men when they started firing. When the last vorcha hit the floor, lifeless, a quiet silence took over the alley. Anto stepped forward at the vorcha's cover and looked at the door.

"Anyone alive in there?" he called.

"Anto?" Lauren's voice sounded relieved. The blonde human came out from behind the doorway, a pistol cluched in her hands. "Took you long enough to get here. What did you do, walk?"

Anto snorted. "Anyone hurt?"

Lauren looked over her shoulder. "I don't know."

Anto watched the human disappear inside for a few minutes, before emerging with a turian and an asari. The turian was one of Anto's men, who looked like he took a shot to his shoulder. Liselle looked cut up, but otherwise fine. Lauren was covered in blood on her right side, obviously it was her's because it was red, but she looked fine. Lauren walked over the corpses of the vorcha, making a disgusted noise.

"I hate vorcha," she looked at Liselle and the turian. "You two alright?"

Liselle nodded. "I'm okay. Just cut up, I think." She looked at her sleeve, which was covered in purple-blue stained scratches.

"Fine, only a flesh wound. You look worse." the guard pointed out.

Liselle looked at Lauren's shoulder and winced. "Ow that looks bad."

Anto walked forward and examined Lauren's shoulder, noticing that the human was instantly tense when he got within a foot of her. It was still bleeding, but not heavily. But it was deep. "Yeah, you need a doctor for that one."

"It's not that bad," Lauren lifted up her right shoulder and winced. "Doesn't hurt all that much." She looked back at her apartment. "Wish I could say the same for my place. Fucking destroyed."

"It was a piss-hole," Liselle said bluntly. "I'm happy it's gone."

Lauren reached out and flicked the asari on the arm. "That was my home, Liselle. Be nice."

Anto looked at Liselle. "I have to get you back to your mother."

Liselle nodded. "I know. Lauren," she looked at the human and then at her apartment. "You should go grab what isn't broken, before the scavengers show up. I'm sure we can find you a new place."

Lauren pouted. "Fine. Anto, take her back. I'll be there in a bit, I have to grab what I can."

Anto motioned for Liselle to follow him. "Whatever."

* * *

Lauren looked around her bullet-hole riddled apartment. Everything inside had basically been tossed around or shot at, so needless to say it was a mess. Anto left behind two guards to escort her to Afterlife after she gathered what she could. She stepped over the flipped table and went to her locker, pulling out her rather large duffel bag. It was the last remnant of her time in the alliance and she would have loved to get rid of it, but it carried a lot of stuff. It made it semi-valueable. She emptied her locker into the bag and then searched around the apartment, pulling up clothes and her other more personal items from the twisted remains of her bathroom.

She was careful around the glass and finally found the few other things she needed. Her terminal, which was rather intact, and all of her meditation gear. Her jacket was on her bed, along with all the things needed to care for her pistol. But other things had been destroyed, things like the picture of her mother from when she was a child. It was older than the other picture, which was lying in its shattered frame, underneath a ripped shirt.

Lauren picked up the picture and sighed. It was of Deacon, Shepard and Lauren, taken at their graduation of the N7 program. In the bottom of the frame was her N7 dogtag along with her alliance one. She pulled the glass off the frame and emptied it's contents into her duffel bag too. She noticed a small shiny object on the floor nearby and walked to it. She pulled the table back to discover the statue of Athame, which was now a little chipped. Lauren felt her heart break a little. Parts of the asari goddess's arms were gone, along with the headdress.

"I can get another one." Lauren reminded herself. She put the statue in her bag and stood up, glancing around the room. It hurt to be leaving, despite the fact that it was in fact a dingy, filthy apartment that she didn't like in the first place. But it had sheltered her for a while. Everything inside had served it's purpose effectively. It was like a home for her.

"We should get moving," one of the guards said. "In case they send more mercs."

"Yeah," Lauren found herself agreeing. "Let's go."

She tore her eyes away from the wreckage and walked out after the guards, not looking back.

* * *

This will be an OC/Aria story. I assure you. Just remember these are short chapters - but it's not too much longer. I swear we'll get to Aria!


	32. Chapter 32

_I can't explain what happened next. I have no words for it. But I guess, that's what happens when you're truly confronted with your fears._

* * *

Afterlife's music assaulted her ears. Dancers and drunk patrons lined the club's floors. Lauren tried her best to cover her shoulder as she walked towards the back end of the club, avoiding the clustered groups of people like they were the living embodiement of the 21st century plague. She walked into Aria's lounge and was not surprised to find that Aria was not only in the lounge alone - but standing and overlooking the club.

"Thank you for protecting her," Aria said calmly.

Lauren set her bag down. "Is she alright?"

"Cut up and rather tired, but she'll be fine. She's at her apartment, resting." Aria turned to look at Lauren. "She told me a lot before she left."

"About what?" Lauren asked innocently.

"Why," Aria narrowed her eyes. "Are you acting like this is nothing?"

"Because it is nothing." She was stubborn.

"Nightmares, tremors and migraines are not nothing." Aria walked to her. "Why have you been hiding this?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because having an emotionally unstable Enforcer led to the deaths of eighteen of my agents the last time 'I didn't care'."

"I'm not unstable."

"Most stable people get help for their problems." Aria pointed out.

"I don't need help." She was bitter.

Aria frowned. "If you didn't need help, we wouldn't be having this discussion, now would we?" She extended a hand and pulled back the cloth from Lauren's wound on her shoulder. The human didn't move away from her. "This is only the start of what will happen to you if you don't get help." Aria said quietly. "Eventually...people around you will die. You'll be left alone in grief and despair. When you get far enough into it, you'll feel helpless, trapped. Eventually..." The asari pulled her hand back and looked at Lauren, her glacial eyes full of something the human couldn't identify. "The gun you carry will look very friendly to you." Aria's blue eyes were burning into Lauren's.

"What do you want?" Lauren asked quietly.

"To help you."

"The doctors said that too." Lauren spat bitterly. "What makes you different?"

"I'm interested. And I'm usually not interested in things."

Aria watched as Lauren grappled with the concept that she had presented her with. After a few silent seconds of thinking, Lauren looked up at her. "Give me some time to think about it."

"You'll get all the time you need once you're dead." Aria pointed out. "I'm only offering this once."

Lauren took a step away from her. "What exactly are you offering?"

"The ability to remember Akuze. From the start to the end."

* * *

_She made the offer and I accepted it. There weren't any snide comments, no sarcasm, and no deep revelations. There was only silence. _

_And her._

* * *

Aria shut the doors to the lounge and walked to Lauren. She pulled her jacket off and set it down. The asari had no expression on her face as she gently led Lauren to the long couch. She applied pressure to Lauren's shoulders, forcing the human to sit down. Before Lauren could react, Aria was straddling her, her hands on either side of Lauren's neck.

"Are you sure about this?" Aria asked again.

Lauren nodded.

"Close your eyes." Aria said quietly. "Liselle's explained you've never melded, but you have in fact meditated before."

"Yes."

"Good. Then this will at least make some sense to you," Aria's hands cupped her head, and suddenly Lauren found that Aria had her forehead against hers. "Relax, deep breaths. Reach out and grasp at the threads that bind us, one to another-"

Lauren felt warm, relaxed. Aria's weight disappeared, replaced by a sensation she couldn't describe. She reached out for it and found that it was slipping away. As suddenly as the feeling came, it was gone. Lauren opened her eyes and found herself staring at startled glacial eyes. Aria was staring at her with one hand on her forehead.

"What?" Lauren asked.

"You - you," Aria's cheeks flushed a little. "You were searching my mind."

Lauren blinked. "It felt...different."

"Let's not dwell on what it felt like. Just remember the first thing you can about Akuze - the first memory. We'll...go from there."

"Will this hurt?" Lauren asked quietly.

"There should be no pain as long as you don't fight me." Aria said quietly. "Close your eyes. Think of the earliest memory of Akuze - what you saw, what you smelled, what you heard..."


	33. Chapter 33

_Being melded with an asari...is not easy to explain. Aria didn't prepare me for what I felt, even though she tried her best to make the melding gentle, nothing could prepare me for the suffering of my memories. I wish...I wish I could take it back. I wish I could undo what she did to me - but if she hadn't done that - we would have never have gone anywhere. We would both still be miserable._

_The memories...the memories that Aria dug up...they weren't painless. I relived every second of Akuze. From the first memory of landing on the damndable planet...to the moment where I watched my men get torn to shreds and to the moment where I witnessed Toombs get taken. __But nothing came close to the memories that came after that._

* * *

Lauren practically dragged herself up the hill, her body screaming at the effort. Her shoulder and arm hurt so badly that she was shaking as she walked. She felt weak...tired...She needed to stop. She had to stop. She stopped walking and forced herself to keep her head up.

_When you're wounded, its best not to look down at your injuries, you may send yourself into shock. The best thing you can do is to keep yourself calm and get immediate medical attention._

She needed to get to the outpost. The one outpost on the edge of the colony's settlement. The one with communications. She started walking again, only to stumble on a rock. She tried to catch herself as she fell, but she couldn't. She hit the ground and gasped in pain. Rolling over, she realized why. She felt sick when she examined her arm. It simply was gone. The medigel that dripped out of her armor was keeping her alive. The only thing keeping her alive. She gulped down air and laid in the sand, staring up at the sky.

Without her arm, she was useless. Useless. The word brought tears to her eyes. She was dying. Who cared about being useless when you were dying. Who did care about that? She wondered as tears slipped down her face. Why was she still lying here, thinking about how useless she would be when they found her?

_If they found her._

* * *

_I crawled through the dirt. For an hour I crawled using only my right arm and right leg. I was fifteen feet from the outpost when I heard what saved me - the sounds of a tank and a groundteam._

* * *

She laid there, listening to the footsteps as they came closer. Her limbs were heavy, cold, and useless. She was desperately praying to the goddess that she'd be found before she died there - before the medigel wore off.

"What in the name - OH MY GOD! CAPTAIN!" footsteps suddenly approached at high speed. The tank stopped. They stopped short of her and she heard the sound of a marine falling to his knees. One marine walked a few feet away and vomited, unable to take in the site of Lauren's mangled side any longer.

"Soldier?" he sounded panicked. "I think she's dead-"

Lauren wasn't dead. "The colony..." she choked out. "The unit..."

"She's alive! Get me some fucking medigel! Soldier, what happened to your unit? Open your eyes damnit!"

Lauren couldn't speak.

"I think she's gone, sir." A nearby soldiers said, barely able to keep his gaze on the woman.

A hand suddenly pressed against her neck. "She's alive...help...now!"

She was slipping. Everything was cold. "Attacked..."

"What?" the man's voice demanded. "Who was attacked? Soldier?"

"Thresher maws..." She choked out. "Thresher maws..."

"Call for an EVAC! Give me that packet-"

Everything after that was darkness. And pain. Lauren couldn't breathe. **She couldn't breathe.**

* * *

Aria panicked in the meld when she realized that Lauren was struggling to breathe. She pulled the two of them out of Lauren's memories and broke the meld. There were a few seconds where the pair stared at each other. Finally, Aria could only watch in horror as Lauren broke down sobbing. The asari watched, stunned. This human being, this _alien_, had survived an amount of pain that would bring a krogan warlord to his knees. She'd watched her colleagues, her friends, get devoured by hideous creatures. She knew know why Lauren's brain had erased those events. Aria had never felt such terror before. She was strong-willed.

Lauren's face was streaked with tears. Aria felt the urge to gather the human up in her arms, to comfort her and hold her while she cried. But the fact that the crying human was her Enforcer stopped her. But only for a second. Aria pulled herself off Lauren's lap and sat down next to her. As soon as she sat down, she leaned over and gathered Lauren in her arms. She didn't resist. Lauren buried her face into Aria's shoulder and the asari responded by burying her face in her hair.

_Why_, Aria thought to herself. _Am I comforting this woman? Why am I so fascinated with an alien?_

She looked down at Lauren's blonde hair and before she knew it she was gently stroking the human's hair. Lauren wasn't sobbing anymore, but she was still crying. Aria loosened her grip and put her hands on Lauren's back. Despite the fact that she was crying, Aria couldn't stop herself from asking the inevitable question.

"Are you alright?" She asked quietly.

Lauren took a deep shaky breath, causing the asari to freeze. "I...I will be."

Aria released her grip and Lauren moved to sit on the couch next to Aria, her face in her hands. "Are you sure?"

Lauren nodded, sniffling as she wiped at her face. "No. No I'm not sure. But I'll...I'll try."

"For what it's worth," Aria put her hand on Lauren's shoulder. "Liselle and I are here for you."

"I know Aria," Lauren looked at her, revealing her tear-stained face. "Thank you."

* * *

_Warning - Next chapter will contain mild smut. Just__ saying._ Thanks for reading!


	34. Chapter 34

Aria watched Lauren as she sat quietly on the couch in Aria's apartment. Afraid that she would do something stupid and harm herself, Aria had taken her home with her. She'd seen people sink into a depression after a meld revealed unpleasant memories, and she was afraid that she'd lose Lauren to her memories. So far Lauren hadn't spoken since she sat down on the couch. The apartment was eerily silent, with Aria making the only noise. Finally, the asari gave up and sat down on the couch next to Lauren.

"Say something so I know you're alright."

Lauren seemed startled and looked at her. "What?"

"Are you alright?" she asked again.

Lauren looked at her hands. "I was thinking."

"About?"

Lauren shook her head. "It doesn't matter."

"It does. What was it?" Aria gently put her hand on Lauren's knee.

Lauren looked at Aria's hand on her left knee. "When I woke up...I didn't know what had happened. I didn't remember. I thought everything would get better if I did. I thought if I remebered everything, all the suffering would make sense. But it doesn't. It doesn't make sense."

"Just because you've regained your memories doesn't mean you can instantly be over them. That will take time, Lauren."

Lauren looked up at Aria. "Is it stupid of me to think that I could put this all behind me?"

Aria shook her head. "A lot of people think they can put things behind them. Sometimes it's not all that easy. Most people can get over it if they have people there to help them."

Lauren looked down at her hands. "I might be doomed then."

Aria widened her eyes in surprise. "What? You have friends here! Derimus, Liselle, Gavern - hell even Anto might help you if you asked him."

Lauren's mouth twitched into a smile. "I'd have to kiss his ass for weeks if I did ask him for help..but you're right. I'm not alone am I?"

"See? You have friends." Aria removed her hand and stood up.

"What about you, Aria?" Lauren called after her. "Am I your friend?"

Aria stopped at her kitchen counter. She turned and gave Lauren a skeptical look. "I helped you didn't I? Usually I don't do that for people who aren't considered friends."

"If I'm your friend, can I ask you something?" Lauren asked.

"Ask me what?" Aria walked to her closet, pulling out a spare set of blankets.

"Why do you live alone?"

Aria stopped, a blanket in her arms. "I prefer being alone."

She could only see one side of Lauren's face, but she could tell the human was smirking. "Liar."

Aria walked over and deposited the blanket on Lauren's lap before heading off for her bed.

"No witty comeback?" Lauren called after her.

"Go the fuck to sleep."

* * *

Aria had always been a light sleeper. It came with the territory of being not only a mother, but a criminal. The slightest noise could mean an assassin, or the soft footsteps of a small asari child. It didn't surprise her when she woke up to the sounds of someone in distress on the couch. The asari sat up and listened to the sounds of Lauren struggling in her sleep on the couch. After a minute the rustling stopped and Aria relaxed on her pillows again. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she heard the sounds start up again. But this time it was accompanied by groans.

Aria got up from her bed and walked quietly to the side of the couch, where she was greeted with the unpleasant sight of Lauren entangled in her blanket. Figuring it was the cause of her nightmares, Aria gently began to untangle the blanket from her legs. She worked silently for a few minutes before she realized that the blanket was stuck underneath Lauren's left arm. She reached for it, but was stopped when she noticed that Lauren looked unsettled. Whatever she was dreaming of was not pleasant. She abandoned the idea of getting the blanket and instead put her hand on Lauren's hand.

The human didn't stir. Aria watched the sleeping human for a second before she retracted her hand. It was wrong. It was so wrong of her to think of doing it - this wasn't her daughter. She wasn't an asari. Melding to calm a nightmare was normal for them, but Lauren might not see it that way. Aria sighed and rubbed at her forehead. She wasn't used to having to stop and think before she acted. Usually she just acted. Lauren suddenly groaned and rolled over, obviously in distress from her dream.

_She'll forgive me for it. _Aria put her hand on Lauren's forehead and gently began a softer, more gentle meld meant for a child. It took a few seconds before Aria managed to get her mind's attention, but Lauren reacted instantly by calming down, her breathing going slow. Aria kept herself still for a minute, trying to match her breathing to Lauren's, in order to rid the human of her nightmares. Before she could, she felt the familiar pull at her own mind. It was exactly like before, when they melded the first time. But this time it wasn't curious or investigative. It was almost...needy? No, it was something else...could it be..._lust?_

A warm hand settled on the side of Aria's face and she jumped, breaking the meld in the process. Aria pulled away and opened her eyes - only to be greeted by a pair of blue eyes. Lauren was awake, staring at her. She didn't retract her hand and neither did Aria. They just sat there, frozen. Lauren was lying on the couch, Aria still leaning over her. Seconds turned into minutes before Lauren put her second hand on the other side of Aria's face. Neither of them were sure who started the kiss first, but they both weren't complaining. Aria had closed her eyes and had moved her hands to keep herself from falling on top of Lauren. Her hand slipped and she landed on top of Lauren, causing the human to chuckle as the asari scrambled to sit up.

Aria stopped and looked at Lauren's face, her cheeks a dark blue. "What?"

"You're adorable when you're terrified." Lauren sat up, shoving her blanket off the couch. "Come here."

She obeyed, climbing into Lauren's lap. Lauren pressed her lips to Aria's collarbone and slipped her arms around the asari's waist. She began to methodically press kisses to the asari's neck, eliciting a satisfied moan from the asari.

_The great ruler of Omega has a sensitive neck,_ Lauren smirked inwardly.

"Wipe that smile off your face," the asari said quietly. She then dug her fingers into Lauren's stomach and tilted her head back, allowing the human more access to her throat and neck.

"Yes ma'am."

Lauren gently dug her teeth into Aria's skin in the next few kisses, leaving small nearly-invisible marks on her neck. Aria closed her eyes and just held onto Lauren, trying to ignore the heat forming at her back and legs. She wanted to just enjoy this. Just Lauren's light kisses, gentle bites, and hands at her back. Lauren was trailing kisses down her neck and to her collarbone, at the edge of Aria's shirt. Lauren stopped suddenly and removed her hands from Aria's back, bringing them down to tug at Aria's shirt. Aria pulled her hands from Lauren's waist and helped peel her shirt off, revealing her bare stomach and breasts to Lauren. The human did the same, and soon all their clothes were lying haphardly on the floor.

Aria stared down at Lauren, who was gentle kissed Aria's jaw. "You-"

"Shh," Lauren hushed her. "Just shut up and enjoy something for once."

Aria's face got hotter. "We shouldn't stay on the couch - if someone comes in..."

Lauren wrapped her arms firmly around Aria's waist and stood up from the couch, taking the asari with her. When they reached the bed, Lauren practically dropped her on it. Aria stared up at her, slightly turned on by the human's predatory look.

"We're not getting up in the morning, are we?" Aria asked.

Lauren grinned. "Come here."

They shared a deep kiss before they crawled onto the bed together. Lauren explored the asari's skin with her hands, not really sure of where to start. She looked up at Aria, her hands trailing down the asari's stomach. Lauren put a hand on Aria's thigh, digging her fingers into the sensitive flesh there. Aria let out a soft moan and closed her eyes.

"No, I don't think we'll be getting up in the morning. Do you care?"

"No - stop talking and fuck me already."

* * *

_It...was a memorable night. We would have slept longer into the afternoon if someone hadn't knocked at Aria's door..._

* * *

Liselle knocked again, frowning. "Mother? Are you home?"

She heard rustling just behind the door and knocked again. The door opened, revealing her mother wrapped in a soft bathrobe. She blinked when she saw Liselle.

"What?" Aria asked.

Liselle blinked in surprise. "You told me to come by this afternoon after I talked to you last night - are you alright? You seem grumpy."

Aria glanced over her shoulder. "I'm fine - hurry and get inside. It's cold." She walked away from Liselle's sight.

Liselle walked in and noticed the blanket and pillow strewn on the floor by the couch. "Did Lauren stay with you last night?"

"You could say that."

"Did you help her remember everything?" Liselle picked up the blanket and pillow and went to return them to Aria's closet, when she noticed something on Aria's floor.

It was a shirt. Liselle knew it wasn't her mother's. It was Lauren's favorite shirt. And it was on her mother's floor.

"She remembered all of it," Aria said from the kitchen.

"Is she alright?" Liselle asked.

"She's coping. Why?"

"Because her shirt is on the floor, mother." Liselle looked up at her mother.

Aria froze in the kitchen, a spoon in her hand.

"Why is her shirt on the floor?" Liselle set the blanket down on the edge of a nearby table. She bent over and picked the garment up.

"I have no idea." Aria hastily went back to stirring her tea.

Liselle narrowed her eyes. "What did you do?"

Aria opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by a sleepy voice from the direction of Aria's bedroom. "It was more like what I did."

Lauren appeared at the kitchen counter, wrapped in one of Aria's bathrobes. Her hair was sticking out at every angle and there were red marks around her neck.

"Wait," Liselle looked at the two of them. "You didn't-"

Aria picked up her tea and took a sip of it. Lauren just stared at Liselle.

"Oh. My. Goddess." Liselle's eyes went wide. "The two of you..."

Lauren looked guilty. "You make it sound like the universe is ending-"

"That's because it basically is!" Liselle's stomach twisted. "You slept with my mother!"

"Technically I fucked your mother first, and then we slept." Lauren was grining.

Aria smacked the human's shoulder. "You're not helping!"

"What? Just trying to set the facts straight here."

"Neither of you are helping!"

"I'm just going to drink my tea in the living room," Aria walked out of the kitchen. "The two of you can sort this out between yourselves."

"Sort out what?! The two of you slept together!"

"Again, we fucked before we went to sleep, Liselle-"

"Shut up!"

* * *

_Writing smut is not easy. I'm actually looking for a beta-reader to help out with the next few chapters. Anyone interested send me a PM! Thanks for reading!_


	35. Chapter 35

_Lesson number one: Be wary of asari daughters._

* * *

Liselle stared at Lauren from across the bar. Derimus watched the two women silently, wondering if he should set their drinks down in between them. He had no idea what was going on, but the two had arrived in the off-hours of Afterlife, both surrounded by a sort of akward tension. He wondered numbly if Lauren had said something stupid to Liselle or vice-versa. Lauren finally tore her eyes away from Liselle and looked at Derimus.

"Is that mine?" she asked.

He nodded and set her drink down on the counter in front of her. She slid the drink towards her and stopped to glance up at Liselle.

"Knock it off, it's creepy." She mumbled.

"You slept with her." Liselle put heavy emphasis on each word. "What am I supposed to do? Ignore this?"

"She slept with who?" Derimus asked, confused.

"None of your-"

"Mother." Liselle said coldly. "I caught them this morning."

"I was leaving when you showed up-"

Derimus set Liselle's drink down and stopped the arguement before it started. "Wait a minute. Lauren. Aria's Enforcer. Slept with Aria? How?"

Lauren closed her eyes and put her head down on the bar's surface. "How is that even relevant to this conversation?"

Derimus stared at the human. "For seven years I've been here. Not once have I heard of Aria taking any lovers - I want to know about this. Spill it. I told you about that lovely turian woman I met on the Citadel-"

"That's not the same!" Lauren's voice was muffled. "But...you've got a point."

Derimus and Liselle watched as she sat up and ran her fingers through her hair. She looked conflicted. Almost confused. "I was asleep, kind of. I was having a nightmare. Suddenly I didn't feel the same. It was calm and there was someone there - I don't know how to explain it. There was just her. Aria. She was just there. The next thing I know I'm feeling shit I haven't felt in fucking years. They weren't my thoughts. I know that. They must have been hers."

"My mother and you shared a sleeping bond." Liselle stared at her. "She barely did that for me as a chid. She must have seen something in your memories that mad eyou worth it."

"I don't know what she saw. All I know is that when she woke me from my sleep I got this feeling of loneliness and sadness. I just...went on a hunch that she needed it." Lauren looked at her drink. "Now...I don't know."

"You went on a hunch?" Derimus asked. "What the fuck is a hunch?"

"It's what we humans call a suspicion. Usually they're right." Lauren explained.

"Okay. So you fucked-"

"Slept!"

"-Aria on a hunch that she needed it, and you happened to be right? Did you ever pause to think you could be wrong?" Derimus asked.

"One, yes I did. Two, Liselle shut the fuck up. You're not helping."

"She coudl have killed you!" Derimus leaned against the counter.

"But she didn't," Lauren rubbed at her forehead. "And that's the dilemna. She...didn't protest to me last night. Not a word against what we were doing. And she doesn't strike me as submissive."

"You think the next time it happens, she might not be so...gentle with you?" Derimus asked.

"If theres a next time," Liselle said quietly.

They both turned to stare at Liselle. The asari was staring at her own drink as she stirred it.

"I don't know if she wants another relationship, Lauren. I don't know if she can handle it either. Just...promise me you'll be patient with her."

Lauren didn't know what Liselle wasn't saying, but she understood what she was asking. "I promise."

* * *

_So I've been super busy with work and stuff, but I promise I will try to get more chapters out. Thanks for being patient!_


	36. Chapter 36

The alleyway was empty, cold, and rather dark. Lauren shifted from her spot on a ledge above the ground, her pistol in her hands. A new group of blood pack was due to come by in any minute, and she was sitting there in the dark, waiting. She'd gone out to do this on her own after she found out that the blood pack group was headed to take out one of her informants - a salarian scavenger - after he'd given her a datadisk he'd stolen. He was a cunning little guy - stealing a data disk right from under the nose of a rather large krogan. Lauren was impressed by the guy. He'd make a good thief, if he wasn't wasting away on Omega.

She heard footsteps coming down the alleyway and she crouched, staring over the edge of her hiding place. A few vorcha walked with guns in hand, a krogan not too far behind them. She caught the tail end of their conversation and stopped to listen.

"-Fucking salarian bastard steals my datadisk. We'll show the mealy bastard what we do to thieves."

One of the vorchas hissed a response she didn't catch.

"Fuck what anyone else says. He doesn't work for Aria or her men. We don't have to worry."

Lauren took this as her cue and leaned over the edge completely, emptying her clip into two vorchas before they realized where the shots were coming from. Before they could aim their guns at her she had managed to throw a singularity over the edge. The krogan stumbled back into another vorcha, falling over and hitting hte ground with a dull thump. Lauren jumped over the edge and landed heavily on the ground. The other vorchas fired at her, hitting her shield, but were no match for Lauren's biotic throws. Their light bodies slammed into the ground and walls as she mercilessly went after them. She wasn't thinking about what she was doing, about how much noise she was making, but rather about how stupid the blood pack was for continuing to cause trouble.

This was the seventh patrol she'd killed. It's like their leader had forgotten Aria's warning - but at the same time itchingly remembered it. He never went after Aria's men. Always the informants or the numerous shop owners that paid her. Lauren slammed her pistol into a vorcha's neck, effectively snapping it. She turned around to see the barrel of the krogan's shotgun by her head. On instinct she dropped and threw her leg out, hitting the krogan square in his quad, a trick she learned from Anto.

The young krogan dropped, his gun clattering to the ground. Lauren brought her pistol around and placed it between his eyes. She pulled the trigger without any other thought, leaving the krogan's body to hit the ground. She put her pistol away and gently walked over the seven corpses she'd left in the alleyway. Her informant came around the corner and looked at her, his eyes wide.

"You weren't kidding," he said quickly. "They were coming for me."

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Go home. Lock your doors. I don't think any more will be coming for you. But call me if you see anymore, alright?"

The salarian looked at her and blinked. "You still haven't paid me."

Lauren sighed and pulled out a credit chit for him. "A hundred. For being willing bait. Get lost before I decide to waste a bullet instead."

The salarian took the chit and vanished down the alleyway, leaving Lauren standing near the bodies. She really didn't care who found them, what she cared about now was getting someplace where she could sleep. She dug her hands into her pocket and walked to the nearest exit out of the alleyway, leaving the corpses to rot there.


	37. Chapter 37

_Lesson number two: Aria and I can't have heartfelt conversations about our feelings._

* * *

Aria stared at the blonde standing in her doorway. She was frozen, not physically, but mentally as she tried to process what Lauren had literally just blurted to her when she opened the door. Who the fuck randomly blurted out that "we need to talk" in asari? Apparently Lauren. Aria blinked at the human.

"Are you drunk?" she asked slowly.

Lauren shook her head. "Not nearly enough. Can I?"

Aria moved out of the way and let Lauren inside the apartment. Aria watched her walk in and sit down on the couch.

"We need to talk." Lauren repeated in asari.

"So why are we speaking asari?" Aria asked. "Not that I mind, of course."

"I feel more comfortable blurting things out that I might regret later in a language that really isn't my own." Lauren rambled off.

Despite the fact that she was rambling, Aria couldn't help but admire how well Lauren spoke asari. She didn't trip over the words or stutter. It came out with a slight accent though - which didn't bother Aria. It was actually rather cute.

_Wait, what?_ Aria blinked. _Did I really just think to myself that her accent is...cute?_

"Aria?" Lauren looked somewhat disturbed. "Ariaaaa?"

Aria snapped out of her thoughts and shut her door, moving quickly to sit down on her couch across from Lauren. "So...what do you want to blurt out that you might regret later?"

Lauren frowned. "I'm sorry."

Aria was taken back. "For what?"

"For the...other night."

Aria frowned. "What?"

"I kind of forced myself on you."

Aria blinked and did a mental double-take. "But - you didn't. If anything, I forced myself on you."

"What?" Lauren looked at Aria with a rather confused expression. "How...What?"

Aria looked skeptically at the human. "Are you sure you're not drunk?"

Lauren looked thoughtful. "No. I'm not sure anymore. I'm thinking you're the drunk one here. How did you force yourself on me?"

"I mind-melded you while you were sleeping - I could have put the thought into your head without you-"

"Wait," Lauren held up her hand. "If you think you put a thought of yours into my head that screamed "have sex with me" - that means you had to have the thought before right? Or am I so drunk I'm not understanding?"

Aria blinked. She was right. If she did she had to have thought about it. But if she didn't and Lauren was right - that Lauren forced herself on her - then that meant that Lauren had to have thought about it too. "Wait."

"What?"

Aria stared at the human. "Are we...admitting..?"

"I - I think so. Maybe?"

They looked at each other.

"Creo que te amo," Lauren said quietly.

Aria's translator struggled for a minute before it roughly translated the words.

"You speak more than one language?"

"My mother's language is Spanish. That's beside the point," Lauren bit her lip. "I think I love you."

Aria felt her heart stop. "Say it again."

"I..think I love you."

"That's what I thought you said."

Aria was suddenly straddling Lauren's lap, her lips pressed against Lauren's. It was a fast, passionate kiss. When Aria pulled away Lauren only blinked and stared at her.

"Can I take that as an 'I love you too'?" Lauren grinned.

"Shut the fuck up and help me take off your shirt."

* * *

Aria collasped on her bed, comforted by her cold sheets. Lauren laughed loftily. For a few minutes they did nothing but lay there, their legs in a jumbled mess. Aria quietly admired Lauren's hair as it laid in half curls around her face. After a few minutes, Aria noticed a strand of Lauren's blonde hair was lying in front of Lauren's eyes. It seemed that Aria wasn't the only one who noticed. She watched as Lauren struggled with the stray piece of hair that had managed to land in front of her eyes. She gave up trying to blow it out of her face and moved her hand as if she was going to flick the hair out of her eyes, but her hand fell short and landed on her chest. The idea that Lauren was so exhausted and that she couldn't even lift her hand to get rid of the strand of hair made Aria giggle. She took pity and brought her own hand up to Lauren's face to tuck the stray hair behind her ear.

Lauren looked at Aria and smiled slightly. "Thanks."

"Tired?"

"Is it that obvious?" Lauren shifted and gently moved her leg so it didn't sit under the weight of Aria's leg. "You're heavy."

Aria rolled over and propped herself up over Lauren. "Are you saying I'm fat?"

Lauren's eyes were suddenly playful. "Maybe."

"If you call me fat, I may have to make you suffer for it."

"I dunno, that sounds like an empty threat to me."

"Then I dare you to call me fat."

The playful smirk that sat on Aria's face was practically contagious.

"You're fat."

Aria narrowed her eyes and before the human could react and stop her, pressed her lips against the human's neck. She hit the spot she aimed for - the one spot that every biotic had - the spot where the biotic implant branched out into the spinal column. Aria had the same spot because of her own implant. She knew the skin there was super sensitive to the slightest of touches. And when hit right, Aria knew firsthand that kisses there could feel like torture, even though it was a pleasurable spot to hit. Lauren's hands came up to Aria's back and her fingernails dug into Aria's skin.

"Fuck you," Lauren squirmed, attempting to get Aria's lips away from her neck.

"What was that?" Aria mumbled, her lips still pressed against Lauren's neck.

The human responded with a dull moan.

"I still can't hear you." Aria gently nibbled at her skin.

"Fuck you!"

Aria pulled herself away from Lauren's skin. "Am I fat?"

"No, you're not fucking fat! Just stop with the nibbling!"

* * *

_I'm still looking for a beta-reader guys! Review or send me a message if you want to help out with the next few chapters. I need help deciding what kind of chapters to do next! (I'm not looking for experience or anything, just a creative mind that is willling to read this stuff before I post it.) Anyways, thanks for reading!_


	38. Chapter 38

Shepard stretched at the mess hall table and cracked her knuckles. The sound made her turian comrade wince as much as it made Deacon wince - but the two didn't say anything. After the mess that Shepard had just cleaned up for the Alliance involving terrorists (both extreme and crazy), she could do whatever she wanted for at least six hours. That was, of course, the agreement between her and Deacon anyways. Garrus couldn't figure out why the two kept negotiating over small things at all, and to be honest it kind of confused him. Was everything treated like a trade in their culture?

Shepard interupted Garrus's thoughts. "Hey Josiah," she said casually.

Deacon didn't look up from his datapad. "No."

Shepard made a pouting expression. "You didn't even hear what I wanted."

"No." Deacon lowered his datapad an inch. "Just, no."

Garrus watched as Shepard stuck out her bottom lip. "Garrus, do you think you can go get me one of those beers from the refrigerator?"

Garrus twitched his mandibles and looked at Deacon. The human shook his head slightly as if to tell him not to do it.

"You have legs, right? That's what those stringy things are, right?" Garrus pointed a talon at Shepard's legs.

The woman sighed. "I just can't win today, can I?" She stood up and walked fifteen feet to the refrigerator and opened it. She was rifling through it when Deacon finally set down his datapad.

"Aeron, have you called Lauren by any chance?" he asked skeptically.

"No, why?"

"I just got a message from her telling me that we need to talk."

"Sounds important."

"It sounds bitchy."

"Well, she is a bitch."

Garrus looked between the two humans in utter bewilderment. "What?" he asked, confused.

Shepard sat down next to Garrus and fished out a picture from her pocket. "The woman in this is Lauren, remember?"

Garrus remembered Shepard's tale about her two friends from training. He'd forgotten that there was a third. "Right..."

Deacon stared at the picture. "You still have that thing?"

Shepard nodded. "I never leave on a mission without it. Good luck charm."

Deacon shook his head and turned on his omni-tool. "Good luck charm," he muttered quietly. "And you call me crazy."

"You are crazy," Shepard pointed out.

"Shut up, I'm making a call. Or do you want to deal with her bitchiness?"

* * *

Lauren relaxed on Aria's couch, her feet dangling off the edge of the piece of comfortable furniture. Aria had left already for Afterlife, leaving Lauren alone in the apartment. Her shoulder wound had reopened sometime last night while they were sleeping, so Lauren (at Aria's request) was staying in Aria's apartment for the day to let her shoulder rest. The human stubbornly refused to go to the clinic in the lower wards. Aria would not allow her to go to work in her condition, stating that the human was more likely to get an infection and die in the filthy station if she went outside. They reached a compromise, which involved Lauren lying down all day on a couch. Alone. Utterly bored.

She'd sent a message to Deacon and her father an hour ago. She had to tell them both she remembered everything...and she had to tell Deacon about the last few days and the utter bewilderment at her situation. She was staying with Aria, the notorious queen of Omega, and she was also in a relationship with her. Not to mention she'd probably seen more gun action in the past week than Deacon had seen in a year...but she was just going to stick with bragging about Aria.

Her omni-tool chimed faintly and she sat up and moved to Aria's terminal, which the asari had given her access to, and dialed Deacon's number.

"Well don't you look...happy? Is that happiness?"

Lauren frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Deacon blinked. "Nothing."

"He's surprised that you have the capacity for happiness." Shepard's voice popped up from the background.

Lauren stared at Deacon. "Is that-?"

"She's drunk," Deacon explained quietly. "She's downed four beers already. She's not a threat to you."

"Only to herself," a metallic voice added from the background.

"Beside the point. I don't want her hearing this conversation. Can you go somewhere else?"

Deacon nodded. "Shepard should go lie down anyways. Garrus, make sure she gets to her cabin without falling over."

"Sure. Come on, Commander."

"Hmm? Am I getting kicked off my ship?"

"Just out of the mess, Commander."

Deacon seemed to be watching something for a minute before he looked down at his omni-tool again. "What are we supposed to be chatting about that Shepard can't hear?"

"I remember Akuze." Lauren said bluntly.

"What? Oh shit you're serious, aren't you?" Deacon leaned forward. "How?"

"I...let an asari matriarch play with my mind a little bit."

Deacon narrowed his eyes. "Which asari matriarch?"

Lauren had to hand it to him. The man was good. "Aria."

Deacon stared at her. "You're kidding me right?"

"It gets better. We're...kind of a couple now. I guess. What's it called in asari? _Tuhlia?"_

Deacon just stared at her, his brain attempting to comprehend what she was saying through his omni-tool. "You're...with an asari?"

"Yes."

"I need a beer." Deacon put his free hand over his eyes. "Or smelling salts. Good god I might faint-"

"Oh knock it off," Lauren rolled her eyes. "You're sooo mature."

He laughed, a sound Lauren hadn't heard in a long time. Her stomach twisted. She missed that sound.

"So, you're dating an asari. That's not normal, you know."

"I'm not normal."

"So I've noticed." Deacon shifted. "Is it serious?"

Lauren shrugged. "I don't know yet. She's...rather distant. I'm going to attempt to get her to talk to me tonight."

"Good luck then. I should go," Deacon leaned back from the camera. "I have paperwork to do. Hope your shoulder feels better."

Lauren blinked at the camera. "How did you-?"

"You're favoring it. Be safe, alright?"

Lauren smiled at Deacon. "Of course. You too, engineer-boy."

Deacon chuckled and smiled at her before he cut off the call. Lauren found herself sitting in Aria's apartment, alone again, and remembered she had someone else to call. She pulled up her omni-tool and messaged her father. After a few minutes, her omni-tool chimed.

_Going to a meeting with Ambassador Udina, Captain Anderson and a few others. Can't talk until tonight._

Lauren sighed. She was going to be busy later on tonight. _Alright, I'll maybe call you tomorrow. I'm too busy tonight. Have a good meeting._

_Alright, talk to you tomorrow. And it won't be a good meeting. It's Udina._

Lauren smiled at her omni-tool. At least she understood where she got her dark humor from.

"I don't really see you smile a lot," Liselle's voice drifted from the doorway.

Lauren turned to watch the asari walk inside, a bag in her hands. "Why are you here?"

"Mother sent me. Said you might be bored out of your mind, wanted to be sure you weren't breaking anything. I brought food." Liselle set the bag down on the coffee table in the living room.

"Food? Like food, food?" Lauren stood up and walked to the living room.

"Asari food. Not that greasy human food you eat," Liselle pulled a container out of the bag. "Which, by the way, is disgusting."

"I can think of several things that are a little more disgusting than the food I eat." Lauren said casually. "Vorchas, dead bodies-"

"Ew," Liselle made a face. "Save that for after we're done eating, okay?"

"Disemboweled corpses-"

"Please stop talking-"

"Nope, I intend to make you suffer. Headless corpses-"

"For the love of the goddess, shut up!"

* * *

_Thanks to goldenpath for being my beta-reader! Next Chapter on Sunday Morning! Thanks for reading!_


	39. Chapter 39

The next few hours were filled with laughter and conversations about life outside and off of the station. Lauren listened to Liselle talk about her days at the university in Thessia and the few days she spent living as a priestess's acolyte on a dare. Despite the fact that Liselle was indeed older than her, she was young in her species eyes - being only a hundred years old or so - compared to how they viewed Lauren. But her stories were limited to Thessia and Omega, as she hadn't been anywhere else in her life. She was either on Thessia, the Citadel, or on Omega.

Then they got on the topic of Lauren's life. Soon Liselle found herself listening to stories of dirty, filthy and combat filled missions. Of time spent in simulators on Alliance stations in space, in zero-gravity drills on Luna, and in weapon raids in the cities of Earth. Lauren told her about missions that she could barely remember due to a head injury she sustained, and the few times she swore she was going to end up dying on some forsaken planet in the middle of nowhere. Liselle listened to the stories of her time in N7 training, of the pranks she and Shepard pulled on their favorite victim, of Deacon's revenge pranks that sometimes went horribly wrong.

They laughed and they ate until they both finally settled into drinking some asari flavored drink in the living room. Liselle sat staring into her drink, thankful that she got to spend some time with her friend like this, both relaxed and not fighting for their lives or drinking in some bar. Lauren looked happy - happier than she'd seen her so far on her time on the station.

"My times in the Alliance were some of my best times," Lauren said wistfully. "Granted it was all of my time and I haven't had a life until now - I'd do it again. Goddess willing, I'd trade all my pistol to just go back to the N7 training days."

"What day would you go back to?" Liselle asked.

Lauren smiled at her glass. "The day I met Shepard. That day...I'm not going to lie, it was one of the days that changed my life."

"How'd you meet her?" Liselle asked.

"The second week of N7 training they had us run a drill. You were supposed to scale a fifty foot wall. Shepard made a passing comment about how easy it would be to do it without a harness. The instructor didn't notice that she had climbed up about halfway without a harness. Needless to say, she fell."

"What happened?"

"I caught her with my biotics. Scared the living fuck out of everyone in the whole exercise. We hadn't had a biotic related drill yet, so no one knew I was a biotic. As it turned out, I was the only one there." She explained. "Shepard was thankful I caught her. Said she was glad someone with my skills was there."

"Sounds like you made an impression," Liselle commented.

Lauren laughed. "From that moment on no one fucked with me, that's for sure. None of them had the balls to do it after I went through a drill in an open space. Their faces when I threw that crate...Goddess I thought I was going to start crying, I was laughing that hard."

Liselle laughed slightly. "What did Shepard think?"

"She'd seen biotics before, but she thought it was cool." Lauren took a sip of her drink. "I'd go back to the day I met her. Back before the whole damn universe changed."

Liselle snorted. "It is different, isn't it? Everything was so much simpler before Saren and the geth, wasn't it?"

"You heard about that too, huh?" Lauren set her drink down on coffee table. "Deacon said something big was coming. Who thought it was going to be the geth?"

"What do you think is going to happen?"

"Something bad." Lauren rubbed at her neck. "I don't know why, but I get the same feeling I got before Akuze."

"Fuck," Liselle shivered. "Scary shit there."

"Yep."

Liselle looked at her omni-tool. "I have to leave; I promised my friend I'd meet her for drinks tonight. Is that okay?"

Lauren nodded. "That's fine. You've entertained me for a few hours."

"Is that all I am? Entertainment?" Liselle shook her head.

"Yes. You're entertainment and your mother-"

"Please don't finish that sentence."

* * *

Aria opened the door to her apartment and was greeted by darkness. The lights to the apartments were off. She walked inside and looked around, trying to locate the lightswitch. She gave up after a few minutes and walked in the dark to her bedroom. She reached the lamp by her bedside and leaned over to switch it on. The soft light only lit up part of the room, but it was better than the dark.

"You're home."

Aria jumped slightly, until she realized that the sleepy voice belonged to Lauren. At first Aria didn't see her because she was buried under the blanket on the bed. Lauren looked like she had been deep asleep. Crease marks from the blanket had left marks on Lauren's face. Aria smiled at the sight of it.

"I didn't know you were asleep. I figured you left while I was gone."

Lauren sat up and yawned. "No. Your daughter fed me some sort of asari food. She left and I just laid down and fell asleep."

"I'm sorry I woke you," Aria moved to sit down on the edge of her bed.

Lauren scooted over and buried herself under the blankets and watched Aria. "I'm glad you woke me, actually."

"Nightmares?" Aria asked quietly.

"Yes," Lauren closed her eyes slightly.

Aria wasn't surprised. She stood up and walked to her dresser, where she stripped out of her dirty clothes and pulled on a pair of cleaner shorts and a soft nightshirt. When she walked back over to the bed, she noticed that Lauren was staring at the ceiling, a frustrated and sleepy expression on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm tired, but I don't want to go back to sleep."

"Who said I was letting you go back to sleep?"

"What - Oh."

* * *

_Thanks to Goldenpath for being my beta-reader again. Smut chapter incoming sometime this week._


	40. Chapter 40

Aria had no idea where all of Lauren's sensitive spots were. She knew about the sensitive neck only because she knew that Lauren was a biotic. She'd asked one of her human dancers, a good friend of hers, for insight. Lauren shifted underneath Aria's weight and moaned softly, bringing the asari back to reality. Aria pulled her lips away from the soft flesh of Lauren's neck and pressed a kiss to her collarbone. She began to methodically press kisses across Lauren's breasts, eliciting moans, goosebumps and shivers. Lauren's hand found its way to the back of Aria's neck and stayed there, her fingers digging into Aria's skin.

"Do you want me to stop?" Aria whispered against her skin.

The husky sound of Aria's voice sent shivers up Lauren's spine. "No."

"Good," Aria brought a hand to Lauren's stomach and began exploring the ink and scars present there. Her fingers gently danced across Lauren's skin and her ribcage. That's when she noticed that Lauren was biting her lip, her eyes scrunched shut. Intriqued, Aria ran a single finger across Lauren's side again. Lauren responded by squirming away from Aria, as best as she could with Aria on top of her.

"Ticklish?" Aria asked teasingly, running her finger lightly across her ribs.

"Damn it - yes!" Lauren threw her head back, hitting the bed with a dull thump.

Aria moved her hand to Lauren's inner thigh, massaging the flesh there. "You humans are so very interesting," Aria dug her nails into Lauren's skin.

"H-How?" Lauren gasped out, understanding that this wasn't sex, it was a game. A very cruel game.

"You're so easy to manipulate." Aria brushed her fingers across Lauren's sex. Lauren responded by arching her back and moaning.

"Y-Your point?" Lauren gasped out.

"No point," Aria said smugly. "I'm just pointing that out for you to know."

* * *

_I severely underestimated Aria. She could be just as mean as she could be gentle and loving. She wanted me to know that she could manipulate me easily, but at the same time be more comforting and supportive than a therapist._

* * *

Lauren felt something hot against her neck and she opened her eyes, blinking against the soft light of the room. Aria was curled against her and breathing deeply, telling her that she was dead asleep. Lauren blinked and looked around, noting that the room looked like pristine while the bed looked like a warzone. She lifted her head to see if she could see the time from the alarm clock next to the bed, but she couldn't. Aria had one leg hooked over Lauren's, and was curled up into the curve of Lauren's side, using her as a pillow. Lauren's arm was trapped underneath Aria's body, preventing her from moving.

_Well, fuck. How am I supposed to get up?_

Aria shifted against Lauren's side and she froze. She bit her lip, resisting the urge to giggle as Aria's fingers gently dug into her ribcage. _Fuck being ticklish,_ Lauren thought to her herself. _Seriously. Shepard and Deacon never had these problems. _Aria shifted again, making a soft noise as she pressed her head into Lauren's shoulder. Lauren didn't know what to do. All she could think about was how warm she was with Aria's blue skin pressed up against her. Half of her wanted to get up, but the other half didn't. Aria was just too warm and comfy. Lauren didn't have the heart to move and wake her up. She picked up her free hand and gently ran it down the side of Aria's head. Her skin was velvety smooth and a lovely shade of blue. It was almost purple, but not quite. It contrasted highly with Lauren's pale white skin, almost like two different sides of Luna. Light and dark.

Something about Akuze nagged at the back of her mind. She remembered it being dark when the attack came. And then morning when she was found...had she crawled for almost a day on her own? Or had it been only a few hours and her mind was tricking her, telling her that it had been light out when she had been found? She frowned, attempting to think about it without actually recalling the memory up again. She didn't notice that Aria's breathing had picked up and that she had stirred gently again against Lauren's skin.

"You seem to be thinking."

At first, Lauren didn't think she actually heard her, but Aria tilted her head and pressed a kiss into Lauren's shoulder.

"I was."

"Mmmm. What about?" Aria sounded like she wasn't even awake.

"Nothing important." Lauren closed her eyes.

"_Sia muhla, tuhlia._" Aria said softly.

Lauren frowned, attempting to translate the words on her own without her translator. She finally gave up. "What?"

"Everything's important."

"Ah."

"So what was it?"

"I was just thinking of Akuze."

Aria gently unwrapped herself from Lauren and propped herself up on her elbow. "What about Akuze?"

"Just me wondering if my memories were real."

"They are real," Aria's face fell a little. "I saw them too. They were as real as memories get."

Lauren sighed. "_Maravilloso._"

"What language is that?"

"Spanish. My mother and my father are from the areas around Columbia. She screamed at me in Spanish growing up, and I had to learn it to survive. She taught me English too, but not until I was four." Lauren explained lightly.

"So you can speak Asari, English, and Spanish? I never took you for a cultured Alliance brat."

"One, not a brat. Two, not very cultured. My mother would roll in her grave if someone called me 'cultured'. My father might have a heart attack."

"I'm surprised he hasn't had one yet. Leaving the Alliance and coming out here must not exactly be living up to his great name, is it?"

Lauren snorted. "What great name? Hackett? It's a dead word filled with empty promises and years of angst. But you know that already, don't you?"

"Liselle told you?"

"Yes. How much do you know is the question."

"Alright. I know you were a gifted, misunderstood and deadly biotic in the Alliance. You rose quickly through the ranks without so much as an acknowledgement from your father. You went through years of N7 training and came out as the 'top of the class', so to speak. You beat Shepard by a mile and Deacon by two. However, despite your talents, you endured a trauma that your training never prepared you for." Aria scrunched up her face in thought. "And I think there was something about the doctors...something along the lines of escaping from protective custody?"

Lauren blinked. "I'm not going to lie; that is very creepy."

"I have to know whose working for me, Lauren. It's important to my survival as well as Omega's." Aria rolled over to lie on her back. "Besides, as I said earlier, you interest me."

Lauren shook her head, her blonde hair falling around her face. "More like morbid curiousity."

At first Aria didn't catch the reference to the asari book, but when it dawned on her she paused and looked at Lauren skeptically. "You read?" she asked. "I didn't know you could read."

"Ouch, my pride." Lauren put a hand to her heart and fell back on her pillow.

"What pride?" Aria said sarcastically. "But in all seriousness, you read?"

"Not anymore. It's mostly datapads from this mercenary queen-"

"Be careful how you finish that sentence."

"-Who is rather kind and compassionate." Lauren finished with a smirk.

"My reputation is destroyed," Aria said sarcastically. "My enforcer is calling me kind and compassionate. This is unacceptable."

"Perhaps you should make me suffer for it," Lauren suggested playfully.

"Oh I will," Aria rolled over so her back was facing Lauren. "After I get more sleep."

"Don't you have to work today?"

"Don't you?"

"Touche."


	41. Chapter 41

_I_ _feel so stupid, sitting here talking to you. It's not you. I know that. I...I wish you were here. I wish you weren't dead and still here. I still have so many things to ask you. So many things left to say. __You could probably tell me where I went wrong with Aria. With everyone. With the world._

_You were so good at that._

* * *

Lauren awoke to a start, her nightmares vanishing as she stared at the metal ceiling above her. The warmth beside her was gone, replaced by cold, ruffled sheets. She briefly remembered blue skin dressing and leaving, informing her that she was to be at work. But something ate away at her. Something she remembered. There was a day in the hospital where a family came to visit. A family of one of the dead marines from Akuze. She'd served with him. She'd been on a vid that he sent to his family, where she'd wished them a wonderful holiday in Spanish. And she wasn't the only one on it.

But she was the only one that was alive.

The mother, his mother, had been crying. Her face had been red. Blotchy, like she had pressed paint to her face in desperation. Lauren squinted at the ceiling. She'd asked something. What was it? She racked her brain until the answer came through the thick fog of sleepiness.

_"They found him with what looked like bullethole in his chest...his body was...more intact than the others. Was he shot by someone? Or is the story behind the maws true?"_

She'd looked so lost. She wanted to believe that he'd died in a pirate raid and shot - in some glorious honorable way - she wanted something to comfort her. But Lauren had said the honest truth, her anger over the doctors and her lost arm getting the best of her.

_"How does it matter that he died? The fact is that he's dead, killed by a thresher maw."_

The woman had started crying and left the room. Her family followed suit, shocked that she had said such a thing. The woman's husband had made a comment to his friend a few days later, and suddenly Lauren was infamous. A venomous survivor - angry and completely bitter. She should be happy, everyone said. She should move on, be nice to the families who'd lost someone. She didn't understand the pain of grief. Lauren counted that day as the end of her natural life. Whatever came after it, she remembered telling herself, was just the memories of a walking corpse.

Pain of grief? She'd spat at her mother. At least they died, and they're not living in a hell where they had to be rebuilt. Where their every movement caused pain and brought along with it a deep depression that couldn't be cured. And the fact that she remembered nothing of that day made every waking minute a living hell. Agitation. Irritation. Depression. Lauren suffered through it all in just two days. And then...her mother was dead. There was no warning. A healthy woman shot to death by a thug who robbed the store she was at. Her mother had played hero for the last time in her life - sacrificing herself for the safety of the people inside the store. The media reported it and people changed their tune. Lauren was no longer hated. Oh no - who could hate someone who had survived so much pain and lived in it? They did something much worse than hate her.

They pitied her.

Lauren sighed and blinked, interrupting her train of thought. Those days were behind her - replaced by days of adrenaline filled paranoia that she could die at any minute. Her pains were gone, replaced by a beautiful and sympathetic alien. Someone who seemed to understand the horror and pains of what absolute self-destruction meant. She'd lost her life and had replaced it on her own, fueled by the need to do something, anything. Everything in her life that had been lost had been replaced by Omega and by different people. She had the same things, lived almost the same life.

"Why do I feel so empty?" Lauren whispered at the ceiling, as if it would answer her. "What am I missing?"

* * *

_The inner dialouge at each of the chapters is actually Lauren speaking to a dead loved one during the events of ME2. It's called foreshadowing._


	42. Chapter 42

_I think...maybe...it was when I left the first time. I had to leave, I'd gotten a call that Toombs wanted to talk to me on the Citadel, at the hospital. That...was also the day that the geth invaded. _

_The day that Saren died. _

_Of course...you remember that day? I saw you. _

* * *

Lauren arched her back and looked disapproving in the mirror. Her father would disapprove of the outfit she was wearing - but she probably wouldn't see him when she was on the Citadel. Aria watched her silently from her kitchen a cup of tea in her hands. The asari was silent, knowing that she had no say in what was going on. Lauren had to see Toombs - she'd already explained it. Aria knew it would be good for her and would help her to heal...but she didn't want her to leave. She'd spent months with the human, almost a year now, and had gotten used to everyone.

Lauren turned her head in Aria's direction. "What's eating at you?" she asked quietly in asari.

Aria blinked and hastily turned away, taking a sip of her tea. "Nothing."

"What is it?" Lauren asked.

"You honestly want to hear my opinion?"

"Yes."

"I have a bad feeling about you going to the Citadel," Aria said slowly.

"I know." Lauren moved across the room.

Of course she did. Aria narrowed her eyes at her. "And you're still going?"

"If I hid from every bad feeling I've ever had in my life, we wouldn't be here now would we? You don't need _comfort_ before I go, do you?" Lauren asked.

"Tempting, but I have to go to work. You know, that four letter word that you've been ignoring?"

"I haven't been ignoring it. I've been working. Beating up mercenaries, shopkeeps, bouncers. Collecting debts and taking names, you know, the usual."

Aria snorted. "You need to be enforcing my rules. Searching out the ones that don't follow my rules."

"I'm enforcing in my spare time," Lauren said dryly. "It's more of a hobby."

Aria shook her head and looked into the depths of her teacup, not noticing Lauren until the human had gently put her hand over the top of her teacup. Aria looked up, startled at first by the fact that she'd been silent while doing it, and that she dared to touch her tea. The human looked concerned.

"You've been drifting from me. I can feel it. It's just been work and sex," Lauren pulled her hand back. "We don't talk except about Akuze and what's going on with me."

"You want me to share my feelings?"

"And stories. Starting with why you said, of all things, that a gun will start to get very friendly looking?"

Aria cringed. She remembered everything, this human. Except Akuze of course. She looked at Lauren's piercing blue eyes and finally gave in. She sighed and rubbed at her neck.

"It started with Liselle's father."

* * *

_Due to unforseeable circumstances (pneumonia) I will be out from writing this for the next week. :( I'm so sorry guys! But I'm really ill. _


	43. Chapter 43

_Her heart never belonged to me. And mine never belonged to her. It's funny how you realize that after you've managed to fix yourself - after you mind remembers that you have a job to get back to. You have responsibilities to attend to and that you have people that need your help. Shepard reminded me of that when I was on the Citadel. _

_You were trying to tell me all along. _

* * *

Lauren left Aria's apartment, her head staring at the ground. She walked without looking where she was going, letting her feet find it's own way. Aria's story had presented a new problem - not really new - but one that needed to be addressed. Lauren was not the first thought in Aria's heart, and neither was Aria. Aria had admitted that while she loved Lauren, she was still grieving for the loss of her bondmate. It was unusual for asaris to hold onto emotions like this - almost unheard of - but there was a connection that still remained in Aria's heart. Something was keeping her from letting go. It wasn't Lauren's place to question it. Eventually, Aria would find a reason to overcome it. But until then Lauren would stay with her, supporting her decisions and carrying out orders like a good soldier.

Lauren stopped. _Like a good soldier_. The thought sunk deep into her mind. She looked up and blinked. _Am..am I really just a soldier?_ A horrible truth presented itself to her mind and she forced it away, like she was locking it up for safekeeping. She wasn't a soldier. She wasn't forced into making these choices. She made them herself.

A small set of light footprints interrupted her thoughts and she looked up, realizing that it was Liselle. She smiled.

"Hey Liselle."

The younger asari smiled back. "You look rather happy."

Lauren shook her head. "Not really. Just trying to make myself feel better."

Liselle frowned. "What happened?"

"Aria told me about your father," Lauren said thinly. "Now I know why you warned me."

Liselle looked crestfallen. "Goddess...I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not telling you the whole story before you got involved."

"It's alright Liselle," Lauren looked at her omni-tool. "I have to go get my shuttle."

Liselle brightened. "You're going to the Citadel, right? Mother told me about it."

Lauren nodded. "Yep."

"First time in a while, right?" Liselle asked.

Lauren looked at her and smiled weakly. "Yeah, and I have a feeling that my father may come find me when I land."

"Really?"

"He's a resourceful old man. Wouldn't put it past him."

Liselle chuckled. "Alright then, I'm going to talk to Aria about a couple things. Have a good trip and be careful - C-SEC isn't friendly."

"Speaking from experience?"

Liselle shrugged and walked past her. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Now hurry up - you'll miss the shuttle."

* * *

_OH HOLY GOD I UPDATED. adksjfalsdjfladskjf. This cold is loosing this battle - it'll be like the geth facing off against a krogan's shotgun. I'll get another chapter out sometime today I think if I work at it. Have fun reading and thanks for being patient!_


	44. Chapter 44

Admiral Hackett had several things that annoyed him. Lauren's mother, Maria, had knew almost all of them after serving with the man. Sure, his superiors called him patient and calm under pressure, but he was never a man that liked to wait. Waiting drove him crazy. And that's exactly what was going on. He was going crazy waiting for his daughter's shuttle to land. Lauren hadn't told him which one she was on, but he'd looked into it and found out exactly which one her name was registered on. Not as a passenger as it turned out - but a guard.

The shuttle was supposed to land fifteen minutes ago. So far it'd only just made it into dock and Hackett was standing outside the only exit from the dock. He and about three marines - the alliance guards that followed him everywhere - were all waiting patiently for Lauren to arrive. Even though she'd told him she could handle getting to the hospital alone, he wanted to at least see her. Her mother would haunt him for the rest of his days if he didn't at least check on her.

Then again, Maria would probably laugh at him right now. He was still holding his Admiral facade on the outside keeping his work face on, Maria referred to it as his poker face, but in the inside the man was basically a crumpled mess. There was too much going on right now. Shepard had been forced to surrender the Normandy, which he knew wouldn't last long because Udina was an idiot and the Defense Council knew it, and Anderson was hell bent on revenge. And to top it all off, his only daughter was finally coming back from the criminal underworld to pay a visit to her mentally unstable friend Toombs.

"Sir, I think the shuttle's unloading," one of the marines said to him, snapping him back to reality.

Hackett nodded. "Keep your eyes peeled for her then."

He watched as humans, asari and krogans walked out of the exit. A few seconds later he noticed a flash of bright blonde hair and squinted. "Is that-?" He attempted to get a better look from where he was standing. Lauren emerged from the crowd and stopped, looking right at her father. She seemed to contemplate turning around, but thought better of it and walked over.

"You know, Admiral, some people might call this stalking." she said as she stopped a foot from him.

Hackett didn't even blink. "Some people might call you a criminal."

Lauren's face held the same stillness as her father's. "Touche."

They stared at each other for a minute before she finally smiled. "You came to pick me up, didn't you?"

"Is that a crime?" Hackett asked. "I can't come see my daughter?"

Lauren shook her head. "No. However, I do seem to recall mom warning me not to get in a car with you when you're driving. Something about how much a lead foot you are..."

"It was one time and your mother never let it go," Hackett shook his head with a small smile. "No one got hurt."

"You almost drove the skycar into the wall." Lauren deadpanned. "Face it, Dad, you can't drive. You shouldn't drive anyways - you remind me of Shepard when you do."

Hackett laughed, remembering the incident she was referring to. "That poor training Mako."

Lauren smiled at the memory. "Yeah. Anyways, I would appreciate it if I could head off for the hospital now. You can go back to work. Or whatever it is that you do."

Hackett shook his head. "No, I'm going with you. I took this afternoon off. Come one, one of them will be driving us." He motioned to one of the nearby marines.

The marine nodded. "Skycar is this way," he started walking towards a nearby elevator.

Lauren started following the marine, walking in step with her father. They entered the elevator and Lauren leaned up against the glass, staring down at her feet. Hackett stood across from her by the door. She was staring at him with an amused expression on her face. He stared back at her, attempting to figure out what she was staring at. He finally gave up.

"What?" he asked.

"Mom was right, you don't ever take off the poker face do you?"

Hackett realized he was standing with his arms clasped behind his back. He relaxed a bit and glanced at the three marines, all of which were standing somewhat the same way. "When you're an Admiral you tend to stand this way all the time."

Lauren shook her head. "Duty before comfort, right?" She straightened up. "Thank god my boss isn't the same as the Alliance. She doesn't care about how I stand - as long as I can shoot and scare the hell out of people - she's fine with me laying on the damn floor."

Hackett forgot that his daughter swore. It took him by surprise for a second before he remembered that she could say worse. She was at least attempting to play down the fact she was a mercenary. "How is work?"

Lauren looked at her feet. She switched to Spanish. "It's been...rather eventful and busy lately. The stations been pulled apart into four pieces and my boss is attempting to unite it all back together. Right now we're on the 'intimidate everyone who disagrees with us' strategy. It's working too, no violence in four days. New record."

Hackett narrowed his eyes. "By intimidate you mean shoot, don't you?" He asked in Spanish.

Lauren nodded. "Pretty much."

The marines looked confused. Lauren and Hackett both knew that standard translators didn't come with Spanish attatched to it. It was a very rarely spoken language nowadays. Most humans spoke market English or French. Lauren switched back to English.

"But work is fine, so I can't complain. I'm getting paid at least. What about you?" Lauren looked at him intently, her blue eyes somewhat brighter.

"It's...interesting." Hackett cringed inwardly. _Understatement of the damn century._

* * *

_could that be...ANOTHER UPDATE?! HOLY CRACKERS BATMAN! Thanks to goldenpath for being an awesome patient beta. And to you guys. For being patient._


	45. Chapter 45

_Do you know what's funny? It took me all of five minutes to decide to go to the Citadel to see Toombs, but it took me that whole car ride to talk myself into walking in an Alliance hospital. I guess...I was afraid. Afraid of a place of healing. How funny is that? You'd have something meaningful to say right now. I know you would. __You'd probably have something to say about me leaving Omega too. __But we both know without you...Omega will never be the same._

* * *

Lauren stared at the hospital from the walkway. She had her hands jammed in her pockets and a cigarette hanging loosely from her lips. Her father was close-by, talking to someone on his omni-tool in a quiet yet angry voice. Lauren betted that it was either Anderson with bad news, or it was Udina being Udina. The other three marines stood near Lauren, afraid to go near their commanding officer in case he lashed out at them. He was known to do that if he had been talking to the human ambassador to the council. But then again, no one could blame him for doing it. Udina was an asshole.

One of the marines cleared his throat. Lauren glanced at him with narrowed eyes. He wasn't brand new - Lauren could tell from the way he stood out from the other two - but he wasn't anywhere as experienced as Lauren was with the Alliance. If she had to place him, she'd guess that he wasn't an officer, but the highest ranking of the three.

"What?" she asked him irritably, removing the cigarette from her lips. She blew a small smoke cloud.

The marine looked at her. "Admiral Hackett said that you were a Commander once, ma'am."

She'd guessed right, he was fishing for a conversation. "Spit it out, Corporal." The man looked at her and blinked in surprise. "I wasn't a Commander because I looked pretty; I was one because I was good at my job."

"Why did you retire, ma'am?" he asked.

Lauren took another drag of her cigarette. "Who said I retired, Corporal?"

"She was honorably discharged," Admiral Hackett came up next to Lauren. He looked irritated.

"Something wrong, sir?" the Corporal asked him.

"I've been ordered back to Fifth Fleet and am to leave immediately." He looked at his daughter. "Will you be alright by yourself?"

Lauren nodded. "I have a gun, don't I?" She patted the sidearm affectionately through her jacket.

Her father stared at her for a second. "Right. Be careful."

"Oh but of course, Admiral." Lauren put out her cigarette. "It's only a hospital - whats the worse that can happen?"

Her father groaned a little at her sarcastic tone. "Promise me that you'll be careful Lauren."

Lauren turned to face her father, standing a foot from him. "I promise I'll be careful."

Her father shook his head and pulled her into an unexpected hug, wrapping his arms around his daughter. "Try not to kill any nurses, okay?"

"No promises."

* * *

Hospitals always smelled so clean that it gave Lauren a headache. Something about it just made her nerves behave as if she had been drinking. She'd walk inside and she'd have a hangover. She didn't get it. She walked up to the front desk and gently tapped the surface of it, getting the attention of a brunette nurse. She smiled sweetly and tilted her head, giving Lauren the most god awful feeling in her chest.

"Can I help you?" the nurse asked sweetly.

"I'm here to see Corp - a patient named Toombs." Lauren rested her weight against the desk. "I'm expected."

The nurse tapped on a nearby computer terminal and frowned at it. After a few more taps she smiled. "Oh yes, patient Nathaniel Toombs. He's in room 318 on the third floor. You must be Lauren. His doctor has a notice saying you'd be visiting. I just need your ID and you can go on up."

"My ID?" Lauren asked.

"It's standard procedure, I have to make sure that you get a pass. The ward has a higher security." The nurse explained.

Lauren sighed and reached into her pocket to pull out the old ID. She handed it over to the nurse, who stared at it. She looked up at Lauren and then back at the ID. Lauren raised an eyebrow at the woman.

"Is there a problem?" she asked.

The nurse looked at her. "No, there isn't one. It's just...your ID says you're Lauren Hackett."

"So?" Lauren asked irritably. "What about it? If its about my last name I can always go outside and find my father. He probably hasn't left yet for Fifth Fleet-"

"Oh no! No, everything's fine." The nurse handed over the ID and a red pass. "Third floor, room 318. Just swipe the pass at the reader in order to get past the security door."

"Thank you," Lauren snatched the ID and the pass. She stuffed them in her pocket and headed down the hallway. She didn't want to dwell on why the nurse had done a double-take at her ID. She just wanted to get up to Toombs room. She wanted to see him. To talk to someone that actually understood what she'd gone through better than even she did.

She just hoped that they were keeping him lucid enough to talk to her. She walked up to the security door and swiped the pass at the reader. It beeped and the door unlocked. She pushed it open and walked inside the ward, only to be greeted by the sight of an empty hallway. She glanced around and stuck her hand in her other pocket, touching her gun for reassurance. The nearest room read 312, so she would have to walk three more doors down.

She walked quietly and calmly down the hallway, her eyes darting to every closed door that she passed. She reached 318 and stared at the sign on it for a few seconds.

_Room 3-1-8, __Toombs, Nathaniel __Resident Physician: Dr. R. Vereza Please k__nock before entering_

She touched the door handle and knocked softly at the door. A faint rustling sound came from behind it. She pushed it open and gently stepped inside, her eyes instantly scanning the room before it settled on the person lying the bed in the middle of the room. The bed itself seemed too small for the man who was lying in it, the sheets pulled up to his chest. His arms lay folded in his lap and his head lolled to the right, as if he fell asleep staring out the small window to the outside of the Citadel. He reminded her of the young Toombs she used to know, the Aliance romantic. But this man...he looked so much older than Toombs was. Gray hairs dotted his dark hair and his face was weathered and he had wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. Lauren gently shut the door behind her and the man shifted in his bed. She froze and doubted if this was a good thing to do.

Wether she was ready or not to talk to him, the man opened his eyes. They were dull and dark, swimming as he attempted to focus on her through his sleepy haze. The doctors had him sedated, but not enough to impair the man's most instant memories. He scrunched up his eyes as he tried to place the familiar blonde woman. Her eyes were a bright blue and were swimming in sympathy, pity and...shock? He wasn't sure.

"If you're a nurse you can get the hell out. I already said I wanted to fucking sleep today," he guarded himself, wary of the nurses on every level.

The woman's mouth tugged up in a smirk. "They can be a bitch, can't they Corporal?"

Toombs sat bolt upright, his hands gripping the white sheets on his bed. The way she said Corporal, the way she stood and the way she looked. Could she be her? No, he thought to himself. She would never wear anything that revealing, she was Alliance...But then again his doctor told him that she was a mercenary now. No. It couldn't be.

"Commander...Hackett?" he asked quietly.

Lauren nodded slowly. "Yes, that's my name Corporal."

"I'm not a Corporal anymore." Toombs said quietly.

"And I'm not a Commander anymore," Lauren said briskly as she walked to the foot of his bed. "Doesn't stop familiar people from calling me it."

Toombs looked at her, disbelief crawling across his bones like ice. The stories about her were true. Everything he had heard in the course of his search, all the rumors about her leaving the Alliance. He had been told it by several people, including his doctors and Commander Shepard herself. But he had never believed it until now.

"Are you alright, Toombs? I can leave if you're tired."

"No," he said quickly. "Please...it's just...it's been tough."

Lauren's face went cold, her eyes going from bright to completely dark in an instant. "I heard what happened to you...Goddess, Nathaniel. Are you alright?"

Toombs's face turned cold as the ice still crawling across his bones. "No."

Lauren went silent. Her response caused the ice to melt and was instantly replaced by a sudden curiousity.

"Good, then that makes two of us."

* * *

_Forecast: Next Chapter: A black storm full of regrets, depression, disallusionment, and Lauren regretting every decision she's made since she's left the Aliance. _

_Chapter After the Next: The Battle of the Citadel. _

_STAY TUNED FOLKS WE WILL RETURN AFTER THESE MESSAGES, BUT FIRST A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR: Thanks to my beta-reader goldenpath for previewing this chapter and giving me good feedback! You're the best!_


	46. Chapter 46

Toombs stared at her, attempting to process what she just said. It wasn't difficult to imagine that she was not alright, she usually wasn't, but he couldn't figure out why. While his mind attempted to sort that out, Lauren took a seat in a nearby chair at the side of his bed.

"Why aren't you alright? I'm the one in the hospital bed," Toombs pointed out.

Lauren leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs, folding her hands in her lap. She glanced at the door before looking at Toombs. "That's the point, you're in a hospital."

"You're...afraid of hospitals?" Toombs looked confused. He'd never known Lauren to be afraid of anything before. But...she wasn't the fearless Alliance Commander that he'd come to know before their fatal deployment on Akuze. In fact, she didn't look anything like her old self at all.

"I never got along with the nurses and doctors when I was in the hospital after Akuze." Lauren explained.

"What did you do?"

Lauren frowned. "Why do you assume its something I did?"

"Because your commanding officer would always say the same thing," Toombs reminded her.

"Yeah, Connors did." Lauren remembered the bright and older officer well.

"So what did you do?"

Lauren looked at Toombs and shook her head. "We had different views on how I wanted to be treated. They wanted to give me cybernetic organs, I wanted organic replacements. They wanted me to move on...I wanted to remember."

"Remember what? Akuze? You couldn't have forgotten..." Toombs trailed off when he say Lauren's face.

She was looking at him with a straight, serious face. She wasn't kidding. "The doctors told me that when your mind forgets something traumatic, it's to protect it from further harm. I didn't believe them."

"You don't remember anything from Akuze? How do you just forget something like that?"

"Well, I remember it now. Took some prodding and time, but it's there now. It's there." Lauren rubbed the side of her head. Her face went a little dark, like she was conflicted.

"Whats wrong?" Toombs asked.

"Can I ask you a serious question Nathaniel?" Her voice sounded distant.

He nodded.

"What happened to you?" She looked up at him. "What do you remember?"

He looked at her and then at the ceiling of his hospital room. "I remember when we hit the dirt and searched the colony. After all of that...it gets a bit patchy."

"Glad to know I'm not the only one with the rough patches - what else?" She leaned forward, her arms resting on her knees.

He looked at her, his eyes blank. "Then the ground shook. And they came for us."

"What happened to you after...the maws came? How did you get away?" Lauren twisted her hands in her lap.

He settled into his bed and looked at his hands. "I...don't really know. It happened so fast that I wasn't sure it was actually happening. I ran as fast as I could and eventually saw vehicle lights. I thought it was help..."

"But it was Cerberus." Lauren said quietly.

"Yeah," Toombs moved his fingers. "They knocked me out, when I came to I was somewhere else. A medical station, on some other planet. They were so...pleased that they had a survivor. They mentioned you," He looked up at Lauren. "Said that they couldn't get anywhere near you, but they said they were lucky to have me alive."

"What else?"

"They...did things. Tests of all kinds with," He looked up at her suddenly. "Do you remember the acid?"

Lauren picked up her left arm and flexed her fingers. "How can I forget it? It took my arm."

"Your whole arm?" he asked. "The whole thing?"

Lauren laughed bitterly. "The bones are cybernetic, theres organic tissue all around that. It's nasty to think about, but it took them five months to rebuild it."

"Damn."

"Why bring up the acid?" Lauren asked, dropping her hand in her lap.

"They did things with it." He explained. "Injected me with it, burned me with it."

Lauren's stomach twisted and churned. She brought a hand over her face. She couldn't imagine how anyone would do that - to anyone. Human or not, that was disgusting and horrible.

Toombs went silent and watched her face contort underneath her hand. Shepard and Deacon had managed to keep their faces straight, but here she was. Another survivor - the only other survivor - with her face twisted into a grimace as she attempted to calm her stomach. She knew the pain of the acid, he knew that now, but he had no idea that she knew exactly what it felt like to have not only on her flesh...But in it. Shepard and Deacon knew nothing of it. But she did, this woman he admired a long time ago, a woman that everyone said was stronger than steel. Here she was, trying to keep herself from crying and vomiting at the same time.

She seemed to snap out of it and looked at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "That's horrible, Nathaniel. I'm sorry."

"You didn't do it to me, you have no reason to be sorry," Toombs said quietly. "But the fact that you know the pain is more than enough. The nurses and doctors here, they know nothing about it."

"None of them ever will," Lauren took a deep breath. "We're the only two, Toombs. The only pair."

It was a reference to the time before Akuze happened, he knew that. But he ignored it and refused to comment, and instead let himself relive a few memories of the people who he'd served with. Lauren must have been doing the same, because she went silent too. But not for long.

"It's horrible to say, let alone think of, but we're alone. The others are dead." She said quietly. She said it as if she didn't believe or know what she was saying - like she was just letting the words fall out of her mouth. "But is that all we are? Alone? The doctors used to say that I wasn't alone, but I was certain that I was. I was so certain that everyone else was dead, and yet here you are. Sitting in front of me and reminding me of it."

They were silent again for a minute before Toombs spoke quietly. "We are alone in our suffering, but not when it comes to our lives. We're never alone." It was a line from a book. A book he must have read somewhere before, but he couldn't place it.

"_On Grief; Our most easily forgotten stories._" Lauren said mechanically and looked up at him. "They made you read that, didn't they?"

Toombs shrugged. "I don't know - fuck I read it somewhere. It just seemed appropriate."

They smiled somewhat humorously at each other. They were back to their old selves for a minute, laughing silently to themselves. Toombs looked at her and felt a question itch at his brain.

"If you don't mind me asking," He said quietly. "Why did you leave? The Alliance, I mean. You used to be so focused on your job."

Lauren blinked at him and frowned, biting her lip. "I don't...really know. I think it was me just being rebellious, but I think it was because I couldn't stand being that person everyone stared at on duty. The one they all pitied and treated like a fragile piece of glass."

"I wouldn't mind being that person," Toombs admitted truthfully. "At least I would still be working in the Alliance. It wasn't their fault what happened, they're still right in their own way."

Lauren had to admit it, Toombs was smarter than she remembered. "I'm still working."

"For who?" Toombs asked.

"Aria T'Loak." Lauren said quietly. "As a mercenary."

"Why?" Toombs asked.

The simple question threw Lauren off a bit. "What?"

"Why go be a mercenary when you could have just gone back?" Toombs asked, looking at her with a confused expression.

"It's not that simple."

"It's as simple as signing your name on a piece of paper." Toombs raised an eyebrow. "Obviously I can't go back, but you seem normal compared to me. More intact. Hell, almost stronger. Why not just go back?"

She didn't know how to answer. Why not just go back? Why not just go back to the way everything was now that she remembered it?

"Are you running from something?" Toombs asked quietly.

Lauren snapped her eyes up to look at him. "What?"

"I asked if you're running from something." Toombs tilted his head. "Or is it someone?"

"I'm not running." Lauren said defensively.

"Then why can't you answer me? Why not just go back to the Alliance."

"Because I can't," Lauren said angrily. "You think they'd just let me back after everything that happened?"

"Are you talking about Akuze or did something else happen to you?" Toombs wasn't trying to be prying. He just honestly wanted to know.

"You really want to know?" Lauren asked him.

"Yes," He nodded. "What happened?"

Lauren stood up and walked to the end of his bed. "Where do I start? My mother died, my father wanted back in my life, people began to ask me for information about things I couldn't remember, Shepard and I fought-"

"Woah," Toombs stopped her. "You fought Shepard? Aren't the two of you friends?"

"No," Lauren said angrily. Her temper flared and she could feel the hairs on her right arm stand on end. "We aren't friends anymore."

"What happened?" Toombs asked calmly. He knew the rage the biotic possessed. He'd seen it only once before a long time ago, but it had been destructive.

Lauren took a deep breath but continued to stand. "She wanted to take me back to the hospital after I checked myself out."

"Where were you going to go?" Toombs asked, knowing that couldn't have been enough to break up the duo.

"I wanted to go to Akuze, to see it. I hoped it would help me remember it." Lauren sounded different. Quieter than she was when she was talking before.

"That sounds like a stupid idea, even for you." Toombs said calmly.

Lauren turned and looked at him, disbelief on her face. "A stupid idea?"

"It's even stupider to know that you and Shepard fought over it. And that the two of you aren't friends anymore because of it," Toombs answered with a shrug. "But whatever, the two of you were close."

"It wasn't wrong of me to think that though," Lauren turned defensive again. "The doctors weren't helping-"

"They never help." Toombs raised an eyebrow at her. "You knew that long before Akuze happened."

Lauren opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Nathaniel was right. He was utterly right. It was a stupid idea to fight over and it was completely unjustified. She hated Shepard for doing what Shepard thought was her responsibility – both as a soldier and as her friend. The two of them screamed out their hatred for each other, hated each others guts and wanted each other dead for no reason.

"Whatever happened to the plan of 'we all go together'?" Toombs asked, reminding her of the story she'd told him that day before Akuze. "Didn't you all swear that you wouldn't let each other die?"

Lauren nodded numbly. Her brain was whirling. _Did I make all these decisions myself…about Thessia…Omega…and Aria myself? Or did I make them as something to prove to someone else?_ Her stomach knotted up again.

"I…can't believe it." Lauren said quietly. "In less than three minutes you've just destroyed everything I believe in."

"Nothing is wrong with re-evaluation," Toombs reminded her. "I don't remember how many times you said that when we served together. But everything is wrong when you do something out of spite. Re-evaluating makes you stronger, remember?"

Lauren looked at him, her blue eyes now filled with the familiar flame he remembered. Hackett was back and in the right part of her brain. Whether he'd done it or not, he wouldn't forget how she looked at that moment until the day he died. Fiery sapphire eyes that burned with some sort of secret passion – some sort of secret flame that no other mortal being in the universe could ever possess or put out. Something as unique as a precious stone.

* * *

_I left that place with a clarity that I had never known before. My mind wasn't dark and full of horrible things that haunted me. That wasn't what all the nightmares were about to me anymore. It was of a time where everything made sense – where every action had a reason behind it. I was so determined, Liselle. I had to apologize to Shepard for the fight. I regretted it. I regretted everything for a moment._

_I wasn't going to apologize through Deacon, she'd never believe it. I was on my way to the presidium when I heard the beginning of what would be the longest fight in my memory to this day. It was the screams of ships getting close overhead, ships that I could tell from the sound were not here for the scenery._

_It was the geth._

* * *

_Forecast: Author is going to bed. Thanks to goldenpath for helping me with this monster._

_Next forecast: Lauren is gonna kick some serious geth ass. Guest appearances by both Anderson and a motly crew of C-Sec officers._


	47. Chapter 47

Lauren could see where the ships were headed and felt her heart stop. The Council's tower. An alarm went off and loudspeakers ordered that all citizens evacuate the immediate area. All around her civilians scrambled towards the elevator and stairway exits. But Lauren didn't move. She stood and watched a large ship head for the tower at the center of the Citadel. It was unlike anything she'd ever seen before, a large, black, and omnious shape. She looked around and noticed some C-Sec officers running for the tower, rifles in hand. She wanted to follow them but knew she would be turned away - that was, until she noticed a person running with them. He looked older, but it had to be him.

"Captain Anderson!" She shouted, running after them.

Anderson turned and stopped ten feet in front of her. The C-Sec officers stopped too, wondering what was going on. "Hackett?" He shouted back. "What the hell? Hurry your ass up! We're not waiting for you!"

She ran faster and kept pace next to the officers as they continued running to the presidium. "What's going on?" she asked him as they ran.

"The council is being evacuated to the flagship now, but the geth are landing in the presidium. C-Sec and Alliance marines are attempting to evacuate the presidium now - we were on our way from the lower wards." He explained quickly. "Do you have a gun?"

Lauren nodded and pulled out her pistol.

"Good, it looks like you're with us for the time being."

"Sir," an officer said while he kept pace with them. "We don't know who she-"

"We don't have time to argue," Anderson came to a stop. "Fuck, DOWN!"

Lauren could see the geth and nearly dove into cover. The C-Sec officers did the same, as did Anderson, as the geth opened fire on them. Lauren cringed behind her cover, wondering numbly if her shield generator could handle shots from their high-powered guns. She checked her pistol and then crouched down and leaned out of cover.

Four geth, three shielded. She fired off four shots, taking down one geth and then went back behind her cover. A C-Sec officer did the same, but only fired off two shots. She could see Anderson shooting and another C-Sec officer firing up a drone. She leaned out again when she got another break in fire and threw a singularity, knocking the geth off their feet. She didn't even have to raise her pistol up to fire at the two geth, because Anderson killed them before she could blink. The older man was faster than she remembered with guns.

"That's the last of that patrol," a turian officer said. "We need to keep moving."

Lauren noticed a ship far off in the distance trying to fend off the geth dropships. "Are there any defenses built onto the Citadel we can use?"

"No, not that I know of." An officer said quickly.

"Do we have any contact to the forces inside or around the Tower?" Lauren asked as she pulled herself out of cover. She did a visual sweep of the area, making sure there weren't any more signs of the geth.

"I can't get a hold of them. I think the geth may have blocked our communications." The same turian officer responded.

"Then it's safe to say there may be a lot of geth in the presidium already. Anderson," Lauren turned and looked at the older man. "Which way to the Alliance offices? There has to be marines there or at least guards; we may need their help."

Anderson knew where she was going with her strategy. "It's off to the left. The presidium is to the right. Which way are you going?"

"To the right," Lauren answered immediately. "I'll try to get a path open for all of you. Get the marines and follow after me."

Anderson nodded. "Smart idea - you do take after your father. Be careful, come on men."

Anderson left her there, taking the officers with him. He knew that she could handle herself, her father had said so on many occasions. He would just have to be fast in fetching what other forces he could. Lauren took off for the right staircase that would lead her up to the presidium's elevator. A metallic noise made her flatten herself against the wall, aiming her trigger for the corner. She walked slowly, her Alliance training taking over.

_Proceed carefully around corners with your gun aimed at chest level. Keep you finger close to the trigger but not exactly on it - there could be friendlies._


	48. Chapter 48

"So tell me why we let an unarmored civilian head off towards the presidium alone," The turian C-Sec officer asked Anderson as he ran next to the human's side.

Anderson had slowed his pace, but not by much, noticing that the officers were having a difficult time keeping up with him. "Because she knows what the hell she's doing. She's one civilian we don't have to worry about."

"Why's that, sir?" The only human officer asked. His nametag read 'Ronaldson'.

"She's been trained to handle situations like this, Ronaldson." Anderson could see a group of marines headed this way, heavily armed. He slowed to a walk.

"Alliance?" Ronaldson asked.

Anderson looked at Ronaldson. "Ever heard of the N7 marines?"

* * *

Lauren glanced around another corner, and noticed a cowering asari and salarian. They were staring at her with huge eyes and stood perfectly still. Lauren waved her pistol at them and pointed behind her. The asari understood and grabbed her friend by the arm, creeping silently behind Lauren and down the cleared hallway behind her. Lauren watched them go out of the corner of her eyes. They wouldn't be hiding from nothing, she thought numbly. She wondered if Anderson was near the office yet, and if he'd actually found help. She hoped he wouldn't mind the mess she'd left in the hallways leading up to where she was. In her experience, destroyed geth was kind of hard to clean up. A metallic noise made her snap her eyes on the door at the end of the hallway. It opened with a swish, causing her to duck for cover in an aclove.

She heard mechanic sounds and the tell-tale clicking of what they all assumed was geth communication. They, being the Alliance of course. Lauren glanced quickly out the aclove and quickly counted how many geth were in the hallway. Five. Five geth in an enclosed space meant that she could use her biotics instead of her gun. She put the pistol away and braced her back against the wall. If she could aim a shockwave to hit all of them, she could get their shields to drop. Usually the geth were stunned by shockwaves, so that'd be a bonus. They'd be dead before she'd be halfway down the hall. But if one didn't get hit...She shook her brain around in her head. No, she thought to herself. Don't wander. Pay attention.

She waited until they were close and threw herself out of cover, throwing a shockwave at the geth. The brought up their guns, but the shockwave hit true, stunning all of them. Lauren charged forward, pulling her pistol from its holster and firing percisely at the geth. Three dropped to the floor before they began to move again. She didn't let them and threw them with her biotics, slamming them into the walls and killing them. She slowed down and came to a stop, only fifteen feet from where she'd started.

_Using a powerful throw against an enemy will slam them into a wall with enough force to break armor, bones, or kill them._

She walked carefully over the crumpled bodies of the geth, breathing heavily. She usually didn't use two biotic moves that closely together, it dangerously drained her overall strength. She had to be careful. She would end up dead if she didn't time her attacks correctly. For a brief second she wished she had a team with her, Omega was never this taxing. Usually she'd be done with an assignment by now - mercenaries were easy. But the geth?

She leaned against the doorframe and listened for any sounds in the next hallway. When she was sure that she couldn't hear anything, she eased herself around the corner. There, at the end of the hallway was an elevator. There were no acloves, no hiding places. But still, she didn't like it. Something about the hallway wasn't right. She brought her gun's sights up to head level. The elevator suddenly made a noise and Lauren froze in the hallway. Someone was coming down in the elevator. She couldn't make it back down the hallway, all she could do was stand her ground.

And get shot in the process. By the time she got through with the thought the elevator was stopped and getting ready to open. She took a deep breath, her body tensing for an incoming attack. The doors began to open and she glimpsed something blue. An asari.

"Oh my god!" a woman screeched.

Lauren lowered her pistol. The elevator was full of people. "It's alright - I'm not geth. Are you evacuating from the presidium?"

"Yes," A C-sec officer said, his hand holding his side. "C-Sec has a barricade on the entry to the elevator upstairs. We're trying to evacuate everyone. Any geth around?"

"Not in the hallways leading down to the wards. I've cleared them. Captain Anderson and some C-Sec officers should be on their way up with some marines." Lauren walked forward. "You should head down, is anyone seriously hurt?"

"Just me," the officer moved his hand, revealing a blue sheen. Medi-gel.

"How bad is the presidium?"

"There are geth everywhere," an asari said. "I work in the Councilor's offices in the tower, they were breaking through the defenses when we were evacuating."

"Is the Council safe?" Lauren watched them empty out of the elevator. There were eight people, only two of them were armed.

"Yes, they were evacuated onto the Destiny Ascension." the asari replied, watching as Lauren stepped inside the elevator.

"Are you going up?" the officer asked her.

Lauren nodded.

"Here," the officer held out a shotgun. "It doesn't have any ammunition."

Lauren took it and hit the panel inside the elevator. "Thanks. Follow the destroyed geth on your way down. If you see Captain Anderson, tell him what you've told me. He'll be the one with the heavily armed marines."

The elevator door shut, leaving Lauren alone to listen to the emergency broadcast that was playing inside the elevator.

_"The Citadel is under attack, I repeat the Citadel is under attack. All civilians are to evacuate from the presidium and head immediately for the wards. Emergency plan 00-14-1A. The Citadel is under attack, I repeat-"_

And then the elevator door opened to hell.

There were people screaming and others shouting for help, bullets flew in random directions. Lauren ran out of the elevator, which was immediately filled up with people. She dove for the nearest cover, which was by a heavily armed turian. She looked around her cover and felt her stomach twist into a knot. They were surrounded by firing geth patrols - at least six of them that she could see. A rocket flew into a nearby wall, causing metal shrapnel to rain down nearby. Lauren brought her left arm up to keep it from hitting her face, and heard someone scream from in front of her.

"Get them in the elevator! We have to fall back!" The armored turian shouted from next to her. Obviously, he was in charge.

Lauren noticed the geth that were closing in on them and leaned out of cover to throw a singularity at them. Before she could blink the geth were dead, but were quickly replaced by another sqaud. They were coming too fast - way too fast. It was worst than any squad of vorcha she'd come across. She ducked back into cover and cursed as a shot went past her shoulder.

"How many more civilians are there?" Lauren shouted.

"Too many," the turian replied, ducking behind cover himself to avoid more bullets. He looked at her and then out of their cover. "We don't have enough men to hold the line."

"Captain Anderson is on his way with reinforcements - marines from one of the lower Alliance offices." Lauren said quickly, leaning out of cover to fire a few shots off at an approaching geth.

"Captain Anderson?" The turian blinked. "Thank the spirits - damn!" He vaulted out from behind cover and fired at a geth that was closing in on a group of C-Sec officers.

Lauren leaned out of cover and fired her pistol, only managing to get two shots off before it overheated. "Son of a bitch!" she cursed and holstered it, choosing instead to launch shockwaves and mass effect fields at the geth as quickly as she could manage. The armored turian assisted her, firing his assault rifle at the geth that she didn't hit, keeping them from shooting her. She finally ducked behind cover again, her blood boiling with adrenaline.

"How long can you keep this up?" the turian asked her, ducking behind cover.

Lauren was panting, exhaustion creeping up on her. "Not that much longer. My pistols fried, I have no ammunition for this damn shotgun, either."

The turian shifted his mandibles. "Can't you just throw them?"

Lauren stared at him. She'd forgotten about using throw. It was less taxing than a shockwave. "Fuck it - cover me."

She stood up from cover and looked at the geth. Two were standing by a fire exhaustion system. She grinned and launched a mass effect field at them, sending the geth flying into the system. It exploded, taking down two more geth hiding behind some nearby cover. She ducked back down. There were still too many.

"There's too many of them," the turian said. "Where the hell is Anderson?"

"I don't know," Lauren looked around at the fighting officers and then at the geth that were bearing down at them. How where they able to advance so quickly? Her strategy training kicked in as she looked around, finding different things that were keeping the officers pinned down. Geth snipers, rocket troopers, and a geth communication tower were easily seen, protected by at least twenty total geth. If she wanted to get past them and to the things that were keeping the officers pinned, she'd need better shields and actual armor. Without them, she'd get shot to hell. For now all she could do was concentrate on throwing the geth that got too close further back. "God damn it, where the fuck is Anderson?"

* * *

Anderson looked at the marines he was standing with, all of them crowded into the elevator that would take them to the last defense line on the presidium. All the other elevators across the wards were locked down and pouring out geth at hastily made barricades by C-Sec officers. According to the civilians they'd run into on their way up to the elevators, Executor Pallin and a human woman were holding the line against the advancing geth, but they were pinned. At that point Anderson had ordered his men into the elevator and left the C-Sec officers behind to help evacuate the civilians that were pouring out of the elevators.

Hopefully Lauren and the Executor would still be alive when they finally got there.

"Fucking slow elevators." Anderson grumbled, checking his assualt rifle. "When this elevator reaches the presidium floor, find immediate cover and assist the defensive by taking out the geth. We hold that damn line, understood?"

"Yes, sir." The marines all brought up their own assault rifles.

The elevator slowed and opened, revealing a firefight that Anderson would classify later as 'the ninth level of hell'.

* * *

_Forecast: A crazy plan brought to you by Lauren, Shepard's unorthodox (to say the least) arrival on the Citadel, and the Citadel Tower. _


	49. Chapter 49

Commander Shepard slammed the controls on the Mako as far forward as she could. The conduit was closing - plus the two crewmates in the back seat of the Mako were screaming. Liara was screaming in asari and holding onto Deacon, who was also screaming curses. But his were in english.

"-Where the fuck did you learn to drive?!" Deacon shouted, bracing himself against the wall of the Mako.

"Shut up!" Shepard shouted back. "I'm doing the best I can - hold on!"

The Mako suddenly tilted downwards. Shepard was facing a downwards ramp towards the conduit. It reminded her of the amusement park rides that she rode as a kid. She numbly wondered what would happen if the Mako flipped. What would happen if she didn't stop Saren. The thoughts disappeared when the Mako's front tires hit the metal of the ramp. Shepard cursed, slamming the controls forward.

The conduit was all that mattered.

* * *

Anderson ducked behind cover, his assault rifle overheated. He and his men had managed to push the geth from offensive to defensive in the hour since they've arrived. The battle was only interrupted momentarily when the Citadel closed shut, blocking out the view of the battle in space around them. Executor Pallin had advanced with his own men, while Lauren stayed behind and provided what support she could. He glanced in Lauren's direction, having last seen her crouched next to two marines, whom she was giving instructions too. The woman was crouched behind a large steel column, her hands on her knees. She was panting heavily and wiping sweat off her face. Anderson glanced over his own cover and took the opportunity to move to her cover to stand next to her.

"How are you holding up?" Anderson asked.

Lauren looked up at him and then looked back at the ground. She shook her head. "We need a new plan, this one sucks."

Anderson leaned out of cover and fired at an approaching geth, killing it. "Any ideas?" he grunted over his shoulder.

Lauren stood up and pressed her back against the column. "Yeah - the communication transmitter they have up. Those snipers and rocket troopers are all pretty much gone now, but that tower will bring in more if we don't do anything about it."

Anderson leaned back behind the column they were using and looked over his rifle again. It was too damn close to overheating. "Any idea on how we go about doing that?"

Lauren looked at him and smiled. It was a smile that reminded him of her father. "Focus our fire and send in a team. It'll leave everyone exposed, but it's a chance we may have to take."

Anderson went over the plan in his head. It sounded like it could work. "What about the team that goes in for the transmitter, how do we get them out?"

"We can't," Lauren leapt out from behind cover and threw a shockwave, leaving two geth in the open for the marines to kill. She ducked quickly back behind the cover. "They'd be stuck there until all the geth are defeated."

"That's far in front of the line, Lauren." Anderson pointed out, checking his rifle again.

"Do you have any other ideas?" Lauren asked him tensely.

No, Anderson did not. To anyone else without a brain, the plan seemed fine. But to a trained Alliance soldier or to a marine, the plan was basically suicide. Sending someone into the enemy's defenses while under heavy fire to eliminate a single target was absolutely unheard of. Especially when the odds weren't in their favor and completly outnumbered. He clicked on his radio, contacting Pallin.

"What?" the turian snapped into his radio. "I'm a little busy here, Anderson!"

"We have a plan, well, sort of." Anderson relayed the information quickly, explaining it to the turian.

"That's suicide!" Pallin threw his last grenade into a group of clustered geth. "Even for someone whose highly trained - we're outnumbered and outgunned!"

"Which is why," Lauren said, overhearing the communication. "I'm volunteering to be that team."

Anderson looked at the woman. Now that was something he'd expect her mother to say. "Are you insane?!" He asked.

Lauren shrugged. "Maybe. Probably. Yes? That's not the point. I'm practically useless here anyways - if I die now it won't a make a difference."

Pallin cursed in turian into his radio. "As much as I hate it she's got a point, Captain. We can't spare anyone else."

A shot went by Anderson's leg, startling the man a bit. The two were right. They had no other choice and no more time. She would have to go. But there was an obvious problem. "You don't have any armor or a working gun." He pointed out.

Lauren raised an eyebrow. "Does it look like I give a fuck about that?"

She had a point, Anderson noted somberly. "Steven is going to kill me."

Lauren snorted and pressed the back of her head against the column. "Pallin - make sure your men know what's going on. I'll get my ass moving as soon as they know. You should tell the marines, Captain."

She suddenly disappeared, leaving Anderson to stare at the empty space she'd occupied about a tenth of a second before. He leaned out of cover to look for her and spotted her sprinting past a few marines and diving behind the cover farthest away, but as close to the transmitter as she could find. He shook his head and brought up his omni-tool, relying the plan to all the marines that could hear over the gunfire. When he'd finished he pulled up Executor Pallin's communications again.

"We're ready," Pallin said before he could speak. "Is she ready?"

Anderson looked around his column and at Lauren, who was crouched next a crate, a shotgun in her hands. He didn't know where she'd gotten it from. He didn't know where she'd snatched the grenades that were strapped to her waist either. "She's going to blow the transmitter when she gets to it, but she looks ready. Let's get her an open window."

* * *

Lauren was waiting. Any second now there would be a pause in everyone's gunfire. She'd done this plan once before - only once - but that had been during a training exercise. She'd never actually had to use this strategy before, and certainly not without armor. She had a shotgun that she'd gotten from some marines earlier, a shotgun that actually worked. She wondered how much longer it would take before the geth even had to stop firing. The gunfire suddenly stopped, and Lauren threw herself out of her cover. Gunfire started from behind her, keeping the geth from coming out from behind their own cover. She ran as fast as she could, making a straight line for the transmitter. The geth didn't matter, it was that damn transmitter. If she failed to reach it then they would be overwhelmed. If she failed, she'd never be able to return to Omega. She reached for a grenade, the transmitter only twenty feet in front of her...

"Did she made it?!" Pallin shouted into his radio. "I can't see anything!"

Before Anderson could respond, a large explosion drowned out the noise of gunfire. He looked up in the transmitter's direction. Black smoke clouded his vision and made it impossible for him to see beyond if she had made it or not.

"Steven is going to kill me," Anderson said quietly as he brought his assault rifle up to his shoulder. With the transmitter gone the geth couldn't call in reinforcements. It was there one chance wipe them out, and he wasn't about to let that slip past his fingers.

* * *

Shepard barely had time to blink. One second she was driving the mako towards a large glowing conduit, and the next the mako was flying through the air on the presidium. She barley had time to even brace herself when the mako crashed. Her body slammed into the controls and into the wall at the same time. Deacon and Liara's screams and curses were suddenly quiet, replaced by the sound of groaning metal. And gunfire.

* * *

_The next chapter will not be up until after the holidays here in the US. I have to travel, and it's kind of hard to travel and write at the same time! Thanks for being patient, guys. *Thank you goldenpath for being a patient beta-reader._


	50. Chapter 50

Lauren leaned back in the chair she was sitting in, setting down her datapad on her desk. She'd been typing for hours now, trying to write down as much of her story as she could remember. Her back and wrists were sore from sitting so still, but she needed to get the story out of her head while she could - her time was so scarce now. She ran her fingers through her hair and stood up. The Citadel was quiet tonight, as if all the people on board the station were attempting to forget the news they had just recieved hours ago. Palavan was gone. Primarch Fedorian was killed during the ensuing battle, which left Victus as the new Primarch.

After the news hit, Derimus had become distraught. In an attempt to keep the turian from doing something stupid, Lauren had dragged him home after they'd closed Purgatory for the night. He didn't fight her and was sleeping on the couch in her living room. The combination of the look on Derimus's face and the abrupt news had reminded Lauren that she had promised Aria that she would write the story of her life down for her - that way she would have it - just in case.

Lauren rubbed her face with her hands. There had been so many close calls lately. Too many, in her opinion. In the last week alone Lauren had managed to fight off two different groups that came to Purgatory, all looking to leave a large hole in Aria's organization. C-Sec was paying close attention to Purgatory now, which was leaving Aria rather cranky. Lauren didn't think it'd be long before an immigration officer showed up. Aria and her mercenaries were on the station as refugees - unprocessed refugees. That included Lauren and Derimus.

Her mind was wandering. Great.

She sighed and looked at her desk again and then at the clock. She had to finish the story at someplace tonight. She didn't know whether she should continue the battle of the Citadel - it was a well known battle. She sat in silence for a second before she walked back to her desk and sat down. She'd finish this chapter now. Aria would understand if she didn't write anymore until she felt ready to. She picked up the datapad and looked at the last sentence she'd written. When she figured out what part she had stopped at, she began to type again.

* * *

Everyone saw the ships and the fleet save the Destiny Ascension. Many of the ships didn't make it through the fight, most of them Alliance. Anderson noted somberly that the majority of the ships fighting were from Fifth Fleet. This is what called Hackett away from his daughter's side. This...reaper was the reason that thousands of people were dead or dying now. That black ship. Everyone saw when the battle ended. Everyone saw when the large black began to break apart into pieces - pieces which rained down on the Citadel. Anderson and his men were already well on their way to the Citadel Tower when the pieces started to fall. He had hurried to the Tower under an order from Steven Hackett to provide support for Commander Shepard. Pallin was scouring the presidium, looking for any husks or any geth that remained from the initial assault.

It was then that they noticed, with some sort of horrified look on their faces, that a piece of that ship was headed for the Citadel Tower. Shepard and her team were still inside, unaware of what hell was about to rain down on them. Anderson urged his team forward, praying that the team was unharmed. And, as the story goes, they were perfectly fine - unlike the others who fought.

I spent hours helping the wounded. There were so many of them that it was almost mind-numbing to treat them all. Doctors from all over the Citadel found themselves drafted by Citadel Security, tending to civilians and officers alike. I wasn't spared injury. The transmitter's explosion had ripped a large cut in my left arm and leg. I had been found after the geth were wiped out - after I'd treated myself with medi-gel that an officer kindly gave to me upon finding me. I wasn't the worst off though, I actually considered myself extremely lucky. I still do. I don't know what it is, fate or karma, but I've skated by so many serious injuries since Akuze. It's a wonder that I'm still even alive now, as I write all this down.

After two days of helping wounded at the hospital on the Citadel, Toomb's hospital, Anderson either finally remembered what I'd done or finally got enough time to reiterate the story to my father. Because after forty-eight hours, a marine showed up at the hospital looking for me. I was taken to my father.

* * *

Steven Hackett stood perfectly still in Anderson's office, staring out at the Presidium. His thoughts were all over the place at the moment. But the Citadel clouded over all his other thoughts. He didn't know what to think of the huge station anymore. Once, he had viewed it as a bastion, a safe-place besides Earth in the galaxy. It had not only been home to some of his friends, but Maria and Lauren too. Now it was different - damaged and vulnerable. The geth invasion had proven that.

"Are you alright, Admiral?" A nearby marine asked.

Hackett looked over his shoulder. "Hmm?"

"You seem preoccupied, Steven," Anderson said from his desk.

"I'm fine," Hackett looked at Anderson. "How's the paperwork coming?"

Anderson looked back down at the datapads scattered across his desk. "It's paperwork - it's going to go nowhere for a while. Thanks to Shepard."

"I do my best, sir." Shepard said from her chair at the far end of the room. Hackett could practically hear the smirk in her voice.

Deacon chuckled from his seat next to her. "Remind me, why are we here again?"

"Anderson has to sign the papers to let the Normandy leave," Williams piped up.

"Which will take a day or two," Anderson said irritably. "So why don't the three of you go help C-Sec or go back to the Normandy?" He picked up another datapad and squinted at it. He read it for a second before setting the datapad down. "Because I can't finish the rest of this paperwork that the Executor sent over without a statement from your daughter, Steven."

Hackett brought a hand up to rub at the space between his eyes. "I already sent Alenko to go fetch her. Considering that he had nothing better to do like the rest of the Normandy's crew." He looked at Shepard. "Are you sure that you want to be here? She probably won't be pleased to see you."

Shepard didn't say anything and instead looked at Deacon. "Can you ping Alenko and see where they are?"

Deacon turned on his omni-tool and fired off a message to Alenko. It was a second before there was a reply, which was rather short. "He says that they're here."

Everyone turned to look at the door, which opened to reveal Alenko. He blinked and looked at everyone. "Admiral, Anderson." He dipped his head and moved out of the way, looking over his shoulder. "You need any help?"

"I'm fine," Lauren's voice sounded tired.

Alenko walked inside and immediately the chair on William's left, leaving a very tired and dishelved looking Lauren in the doorway. She walked inside and straight to her father, who wrapped his arms around her. The two of them stood there for a few seconds before Lauren spoke.

"Hi dad," her voice was muffled against the fabric of his uniform. "How has work been?"

"Hell," Hackett patted her back. "How's your arm?"

"Hurts." Lauren mumbled. "Your uniform smells like smoke. Why am I here?"

Before Hackett could speak, Anderson cleared his throat. Lauren pulled away from her father and stepped a foot away from him. Hackett stood still, watching his daughter carefully, in case she fell over. She hadn't just walked straight into him for a hug - she was tired and looked like she was on the verge of passing out from pure exhaustion. She looked skeptically at Anderson and then towards the group of people sitting against the wall. She saw Deacon immediately, and then noticed the statuesque woman sitting next to him.

Shepard.

* * *

I really wish my father or that marine, Alenko, had told me that she was there. But no one did.

* * *

Shepard stared directly at Lauren, her mind frozen in time. Lauren had become something of a wild-card, so Shepard was not a step ahead like she usually was with other people. If anything, Shepard was about seven steps behind. Her mind was focused on two things. One, that Lauren was in this room and by all matters of the word alive. And two, Deacon's piece of advice that he had given her while they had chatted about Lauren in particular. _Say what you should have said instead of what you did say._ And Shepard had finally, in that quiet time heading towards Ilos, she'd come up with something to say to her. She just wasn't sure how'd she handle it.

Lauren stared back at Shepard, her eyes burning a hole into the woman's face. Anderson decided to break the tension, clearing his throat again.

"I asked your father to send for you," he explained. "There's a statement about what happened on the Presidium, you have to make sure that everything that happened is in it. Then you have to sign it."

Lauren looked at her father, Shepard, and then back at Anderson. "And then I can leave?"

"Is there someplace you have to be?" Hackett asked.

"Now that you mention it," Lauren narrowed her eyes. "Omega sounds like a damn vacation after all this." She walked to Anderson's desk and held her hand out.

For a split second all Anderson and Hackett could see was a blonde version of Maria, who made the same gesture quite often while she was still alive.

Anderson handed over the datapad. "Omega?" he asked, somewhat confused.

"Lauren works as a mercenary," Deacon was fussing with his omni-tool.

"You're a criminal?" Anderson asked.

"Technically," Lauren mumbled, reading the datapad. "I'm a mercenary."

Anderson looked at Hackett with one eyebrow raised, causing the older man to shake his head. It was that, I don't want to talk about it, shrug. Figuring that it was a subject left for a different time, he dropped it. After a few minutes, Deacon decided to break the silence.

"Do you have any plans on going back to Omega?" He asked.

"I'm on the first shuttle that decides to head in Omega's direction," Lauren said, without looking up from the datapad. "No offense, but this place is a fucking hellhole. And that's putting it lightly." She held the datapad out to Anderson. "There. It's correct, signed and dated."

Anderson took it and set it down on his desk. "Thank you. That should get the Executor off my back for a few days."

"Can I leave now?" Lauren asked, looking at Hackett. "I'm fucking tired as all hell-"

"Before you go," Shepard finally spoke, standing up. "Can we talk out in the hall?"

* * *

In all honesty, I wanted to apologize to her. I thought that she was going to lecture me about being more careful. I was just going to blurt out my apology before she could lecture me. It was a good plan...in my head. But all my plans start out as "good plans". Ask Derimus.

* * *

Shepard followed Lauren into the hall and clicked the button for the door to shut behind her. When it slid shut, the Spectre opened her mouth to talk, but was cut off almost immediately.

"Look," Lauren turned around to face her, her blue eyes staring at the floor. "Before you go and lecture me about being more careful or anything else, I just want to say that I'm sorry. That fight should never have happened and it was entirely my fault. I was wrong to have tried to leave, to fight you. I should have stayed and gotten help."

Shepard was shocked. For as long as Shepard had known Lauren, she'd never once known her to apologize to anyone. For anything. Shepard was usually the one apologizing. Deacon usually stayed silent. But Lauren had always stubbornly refused to apologize. Even when it was blatantly obvious when is was entirely her fault. It shocked her into a sort of dumbfound silence. When she finally managed to process that Lauren had apologized, and was waiting for her to say something, she spoke. Kind of.

"What?"

Lauren didn't move. "What do you mean 'what'? I just apologized and all you can say is 'what'? God damn it Shepard-"

Shepard put her hands up. "Don't get angry - its just that...I mean..." Shepard paused. "I was going to apologize for the fight. It was my fault. I should have let you go sooner - I mean - you were right. You didn't need the doctors' help. I shouldn't have pressured you into doing anything like joining the Alliance again or going back to the hospital. I shouldn't have dragged you there. It wasn't my place to say what you needed. I should have just have stayed out of it."

Lauren stared at Shepard for what seemed like an hour. It was akward, trying to recover from this. They had both just spit out that they were wrong and explained their reasoning for it. Lauren felt like there should have been more to it - like it should have been more meaningful or dramatic - but it was just an apology. It was just a bunch of words. Shepard felt like a great weight on her shoulders had just fallen off - this had bugged her to no end. The thought of dying before she said this practically killed her all by itself. Now that it was over and done, there was just silence. Nothing else. What else did they have to say? They hadn't talked in years.

"We both just apologized for the same fight," Lauren said slowly. It was an obvious fact

Shepard barely nodded her head, staring dumbfounded at her Lauren. Lauren stared back, looking equally dumbfounded and somewhat confused. They stood there for what seemed like hours in the hallway - not moving and barely breathing - until Shepard spoke. "I think it's safe to say that we're both a pair of idiots."

"Yeah," Lauren suddenly made a face. "So...that wasn't what I was expecting at all."

"What were you expecting?" Shepard asked.

"A lecture on safety?" Lauren frowned. "Or something along the lines of that."

Shepard blinked. "You thought I was going to **_lecture_** you? What the hell?"

"What?" Lauren asked defensively. "It seemed like something you would do - don't give me that face."

Shepard shook her head. "What the hell is wrong with us?"

"I blame the Alliance." Lauren said mechanically. "And our egos."

Shepard snorted. "That'd be a good place to start, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah."

They stood there, staring at each other.

"So...what now?" Lauren asked.

"I don't know."

"Me neither," Lauren's face scrunched up in thought. "I don't think theres a vid on how to fucking move on past years of keeping a grudge against a person." She brought her hand up to rub at her neck. "Where do we go from here?" She asked quietly.

"Hell if I know," Shepard kind of relaxed uneasily. "I suppose I should go back in the office and collect my people."

"I should go check the shuttles, see if one's headed for Omega." Lauren hesitated slightly. "Say bye to my dad, I guess. And then go get some sleep."

Shepard looked at the door to Anderson's office and then at Lauren. She couldn't just walk away from Lauren now. It didn't feel right. She had to do something...but what? A hug was definately out of the question in a situation like this. A handshake? Shepard looked at her right hand. It was as good a try as anything. She looked at Lauren, really looked at her, taking in all the different aspects of the woman's face. She looked how Shepard felt - worn down and completely exhausted. But there was something about her. Something surprisingly familiar. Her eyes. Shepard had always said that the thing she remembered about Lauren the most was her eyes. The way they resembled those campfires that Shepard's mother used to make when they went camping. Sometimes they were bright and energetic, othertimes they were dark and smoldering, and other times they were just so full of mystery and intrigue. But right now they were just eyes. Lauren's eyes. Something that she didn't know that she had missed. Shepard held out her right hand and Lauren looked down at it. She looked up at Shepard for a moment before she extended her own hand to shake it.

Neither of them knew what the hell they were doing next, but they both knew that at least they had put one thing behind themselves. That they had said, in a very minimalistic sense, what they had needed to say. Done what they had needed to do. In time, they both hoped they could sit down and talk about it. But for now, both of them could agree that time was precious. That they had things that they needed to do. And in that instant, Lauren had noticed something about Shepard that she hadn't dwelt on in a very long time. Shepard's eyes were green like her mother's. _Emeralds, that smoldered in their sockets, like a torch in the dark._

* * *

Lauren saved her document on the datapad and set it down on the table, cheering silently to herself on her victory over the datapad. The story was finished. Of course, her story wasn't over, but this particular chapter was. She heard rustling from the doorway and looked up, seeing a dark silhouette staring at her. It walked into the room and stopped next to her, gently putting one of it's hands on Lauren's shoulder.

"You're awake," Aria said quietly. "Is something wrong?"

Lauren smiled at Aria. In the past few months since Liselle's murder, the asari had come clean to her on Thessia. She had pushed her away out of fear - fear of loosing her like she had lost Liselle's father. Her bondmate's murder had prevented her from trying to make any sort of committment, lest they end up dead too. There had been other people in Aria's life - like that turian, Nyreen - in their time apart. It would be a lie to say that Lauren hadn't tried to move on past her as well. But they'd come back together, none the less. It almost seemed poetic, now that the war was in full swing.

"No," Lauren looked at the datapad. "I was just writing."

Aria picked up the datapad, turning it on without asking Lauren. She looked skeptically at the datapad. "_When the Mind Forgets._ That's not what I had in mind when I said you should pick a title for it."

Lauren shrugged. "It was either that or _The Story of My Life._ That one sounded more creative. Besides, it's finished. All that's left is what's going on now."

Aria's mouth twitched into a smile. "And what are you going to call that?"

Lauren stood up and gingerly took her datapad back from Aria. "_Insomnia: My struggles with a nosy asari?_" She asked jokingly.

"Cute, but no."

Lauren shrugged and set the datapad down on the desk. "Worth a try. What would you call it, if it was your story? I already read yours - _Jewels of Omega: Blue Sapphires_. Really original - using my eyes like that in the title. Did you have to look up what sapphires were?"

Aria lightly punched Lauren's shoulder. "Ass. No, I did not. And as for the title, if I were you writing it, I'd picked something meaningful."

"Struggles with a nosy asari is very meaningful."

Aria rolled her eyes. "Goddess you're insufferable lately."

"You're the one making me insufferable. You wanted us to do this little project in case it's...you know...the end."

Aria made a face. "Please don't call it that - it's not the end."

"Alright, alright," Lauren put her hands up in mock surrender. "Shouldn't you be in bed, anyways?"

Aria looked at Lauren and scowled. "No, I was busy looking for the person who is supposed to be sleeping next to me. Hurry up, the bed is cold without you in it."

Lauren sighed. "I'll be there in a minute, okay?"

Aria made a face and sighed. "Just hurry up."

Lauren watched the asari leave the room - she was practically stalking again, it was her new favorite way to walk - and looked at the other datapad on her desk. It was the one for the new chapters in her life. Talking to Aria made her think of something - something she needed to write down. She picked it up and turned it on, typing a sentence into the header. _Until the End: The Reaper War_. She stopped at stared at it for a second, saying the words over in her head before saving the document. She shrugged, setting the datapad down and walked to the door. She cast one last glance around the office before she reached for the lightswitch. With some sense of finality, she turned off the lights, immersing the room in complete darkness.

* * *

_It's over. I can't believe I made it 50 chapters. Thank you goldenpath, for being my beta-reader and thank you, everyone reading this sentence for being my audience. What an adventure this has been! The continuation of this story, Until the End, has it's first chapter up. _


End file.
